Wednesday, March 1, 2023

phone call and the hoarder

I tried to call my mom before and after lunch yesterday, but she wasn't in her room. Then she called me around 3:30. Her sundowning seems to be starting earlier now. Used to be more after dinner. She (vaguely) told me there's too much going on here that isn't good and I need to come pick her up and take her home (I don't think she means my home). I said what's going on there? Of course she couldn't come up with anything and I then said "hmm...I guess I need to know more what the problem there is?" Then something about feeding them and she doesn't think they are going to get fed. I told her they feed her breakfast lunch and dinner and she said "well, I don't think so. I didn't get anything tonight" and I told her it's not dinner time yet, it will be in about an hour. Then she said I don't have to come get her tonight, but tomorrow would be good. I finally just told her ok, I'll look into it for her tomorrow. She did mention her car again and she wasn't sure where it was, but she could just take that to go home. I'm just glad she's there and I'm not having to deal with this at her old place! Just best to try to redirect her or put her off until "tomorrow" or "the weekend", which of course she will forget that. 

I'm kind of surprised she doesn't call me a bunch of times in a short period, because she'd forget she just called me. She used to do that a couple years ago and it drove me nuts. Especially when I'd tell her I was coming and she'd remember just enough that I was coming but not then there'd be 3 phone calls in 30 minutes. Or I'd call her to remind her I was on my way and get 7 calls in an hour on the way there. This was back when she still had a cell phone....which we never did find when we moved her, by the way, LOL. That first weekend we moved her in and visited her 3 days in a row, on that 3rd day (when I was trying to get her landline working) I decided, until she was settled, to flip the little label on the landline over and only write my name next to my button to dial. I decided to leave off uncles for now. I'm glad I have because I don't want her also calling him a bunch when she's agitated....because then he has no idea what to do, so he just calls me about it. I've got enough just dealing with her calling me, I don't need him calling me about her, too.

My guess is at some point I'll end up removing her telephone from her room. I remember when I asked if we could have a landline in her room and he said yes, but that most of them do not. I know, that first week when I didn't have her phone working, if she wanted to call me, the staff called for her and gave her the phone they use. If she started calling me all the time (which so far she rarely thinks to call me) because she thinks she needs to leave, I'd probably end up taking the phone out and just letting the staff deal with it more. If she was asking them to call often, I'm sure they'd redirect her to other activities/thoughts. I'm still kind of not sure about a tv in her room....I really don't think she'd even turn it on much and not too far outside her room door is a seating area with couches, chairs and a big tv to watch. There's another similar tv area at the other end (it's an L shaped area) near the entrance.

OMG, this morning dh decided to go through the 3 bins of old clothes he has in his closet. It's stuff that's been packed for years (I have the same in my closet). He said all with conviction "I'm going to go through all this and throw away most of it. I haven't worn it in years and likely won't".  5 minutes later..."ONE! c'mere...  I can't get rid of these shirts. I can't get rid of these boots (that he literally hasn't worn in 20 years).". Then he brings out like 6 of those orange construction t-shirts he used to have to wear for work (and hasn't worn in 10 years). They still fit! So?! LOL. are you ever going to wear them again? "well, I might". Finally he put them in the bag. I really doubt much of any of it will end up staying in the bag to go. LOL. He definitely is a hoarder mentality.

For the 8 days in February that I started doing MTurks, I made $95.


  1. Anne Brew

    I think your mother will continue to use the phone for the foreseeable future when something troubles her. Maybe someone said something she disagreed with and it set off a train of thought and she turned to you for reassurance and you were able to provide that.
    The little seating areas outside her room do sound a very nice idea.

  2. At least your husband's old clothes still fit!!! I hung on to some lovely stuff (but that hadn't fit me in about 15 years)!