Yesterday afternoon was busy, but productive. I worked until 12:45 and then we left so I could be there for mom's new doctor appointment with the doctor that comes into memory care. Her appointment was at 2pm but I wanted to get there early, just in case, so I was there a little after 1:30. Mom was in her room, sitting in her recliner, with the telephone in her lap. But what a mess her room was! The recliner had been pushed over closer towards the end of her bed, from the corner where it was, so now all her cable wiring for her modem/telephone and her modem sitting on the floor were exposed (instead of out of sight behind the recliner.) Her bed unmade and lots of clothes laying on her bed. Even a pair of pants were on the little counter next to her sink. I moved her chair back over. Those cables are the black kind that are kind of stiff and don't bend too easy. Plus it looked awful with all those showing and potentially a trip hazard, even though they were next to the wall. I then started picking up all her clothes, not sure if dirty or clean. She had put her hamper in the closet. One of her shirts was wadded up down between her blankets, when I made her bed. I peeked in the shared bathroom and there was a shower chair in the shower with something draped over it. I picked it up and it was mom's dress pants.....why they got put there, who knows!
The doctor came in about 5 minutes after 2 and she is AMAZING! I really really like her. She spent almost an hour with us. She (purposely) tried to ask mom all her questions, but of course mostly got "Oh, I don't know" and then mom would ask me. Or answered wrong. She asked her where she lived before moving here. Mom said the town in Oregon where she grew up. I have had a feeling she is now back in that time, especially as she had been wanting to call her mom those first few days after the move. The doctor asked her how many children she has. She thought for a second and then said 3. I said no, it's just me and mom said something like, well I'm thinking of those other 2....my guess is she was thinking how many kids were in her family back then, 3, her and her 2 brothers. Even if by some very slim chance (and I highly doubt it) she was thinking of my step siblings as included, the answer would have been 5, not 3. I don't think she was thinking of them. I don't think she even really remembers now her marriage of 37 years to my step dad.
The doctor said definitely no on that Aricept med and I explained what happened and she's not supposed to be taking it but her previous doctor did not remove it from her list of meds. This doctor said she wanted to pretty much discontinue all meds that we can. She said at this age and stage of Alzheimer's there is no benefit to most of what she is taking. So, we are stopping the cholesterol and the acid reflux meds and also the Paxil (anti anxiety/depression med). She said that med is actually not good at all for dementia patients and can make them more confused. She said that she is on a very low dose and wants to try just stopping it and not replacing it, but if we do need to replace it with something else, there are much safer meds to use. She's only keeping her on one med now, that is for her essential tremor she has in her right hand. I was happy to hear all this.
She was just such a kind sweet person and when she was done and telling my mom it was so nice to meet her, my mom said "it was nice to meet you and I really like you!" That made me feel good. Of course she won't remember her 10 minutes later, but still, LOL. Earlier in the day I had emailed the m/c guy I did all the move in paperwork with as her March rent was supposed to come out of her checking but it hadn't yet. He replied back and also said my mom seems to have settled in well and he always sees her doing activities and dancing (always with the dancing LOL).
The doctor left at 3 and I left right after. I had an appointment for a mammogram at 3:30 just a few blocks away, so we decided to go into Wendy's and get our dinner early and at it at the med office parking lot until it was time for me to go in for my appt. I was in and out of there in less than 15 minutes and glad to have that done for another year. Then we stopped at Walmart and picked up a load of groceries I had ordered and headed back home.
And then at 7:40pm my uncle called. Ugh. He had just called my mom and had an "upsetting" call with her where she was telling him people are taking stuff from her room, she's scared, etc. I again explained that late evening is not a good time to try to have a conversation with her, she is confused and tired. Not to mention then he has to call me. There's nothing I can do about it! I just said, well, that's why she's there, because she's confused, especially at night, and now she can be looked after. He said yes, because if she was at her other place she could wander around. I will send him a text today to try to remind him he needs to try to call her during the day or right after dinner. She could have already been in bed at that time he called as when I had the camera at her old apartment the last couple of months she was often in bed by then. He said she also told him she hasn't seen or talked to me in a long time. I said I was just with her for an hour and a half today ;)
Now our furnace issue is supposed to get fixed on Thursday. Hopefully he gets back out here sooner rather than later, only because having to heat our bonus room now is costing extra.
The new doctor sounds great in the way she handles your mother. Altogether, it sounds like a good day for your mother. So, I am sure you find it disconcerting the uncle's reaction. When will he remember?ReplyDelete
Did the doctor already know the answers, like how many children she had? I suppose she did and this was the doctor's own way of analyzing your mother's memory.
I think the only thing the dr knew the answer to is how long she's now been at m/c. I'm sure she was just trying to see (knowing I was there to give the correct answers) how much my mom could answer on her own.Delete
Your uncle hasn’t really taken on board the nature of this desease.ReplyDelete
He’s still expecting her to be the same whatever the time of day. Unfortunately he then rings you and offloads his concerns on you at the end of a long day.
The new doctor sounds very sympathetic.
You are spot on, especially with at 7:30 or 8pm I am in no mood to talk to him, let alone anyone and especially not to have to explain to him yet again that she is confused most in the evenings. I keep telling him that I usually call her during the day. I may just have to let his calls go to voicemail once in awhile.Delete
I'm glad you liked the doctor. It's quite a calling to do geriatrics isn't it!ReplyDelete
I'm glad she's seeing someone more specialized now, plus having her come to the m/c place is much nicer way to do it.Delete