In the life of a hoarder, I'm sure this would be considered progress. I guess in some ways, it's progress. But, is it really considered progress if nothing is still gotten rid of? LOL.
As I have mentioned dh is not a hoarder inside the house, at all. Never has been. Maybe because he's always at least had a garage to stuff/keep all his stuff. Since building this house and shop, of course he's had much more room for all his stuff (and to accumulate more). Basically he's had his shop completely stuffed and almost half of our 3 car garage stuffed. Our 3 car garage has been a 2 car garage and barely that, with things stacked and stored close to the 2 vehicles that got to squeeze in there.
Over the weekend he had to completely clear out the garage in order to have the floor coated on Monday. It looked SO nice all empty LOL. He was really struggling with the side of him that loves things neat and orderly and the other side of him that needs to keep all his stuff. The floor turned out great -
Of course his logical brain can tell him he's NEVER EVER going to rebuild this truck, but his hoarder brain cannot part with it, still. As he was preparing to get everything moved back into the garage (everything but the huge wood work bench - he moved things around his shop last week and permanently moved it to there) he kept saying how great the garage looked with less stuff, but..but...he mentioned how his original plan in designing our house/garage was his old pickup was supposed to park in bay 3. It's never even been inside this garage. I said why can't you put this old truck frame in the shop, where the old blue F-350 is parked and park your truck in the garage? He said he didn't know why he never thought of that. I told him it's because his brain is overloaded with all his stuff. Don't ask me how we got this moved into the shop last night! LOL but at least it is on tires that move. Mostly it got pushed with our snow plow haha. It almost led to a huge fight, as he was being a total ass to me (how the hell do I know how to operate and push with a snow plow?!). He started to walk back to this huge pile of junk and said "you're zero help". I leaned out the snow plow cab and said excuse me? I can absolutely be ZERO help. I don't NEED to be doing any of this shit. That shut him up quick and he was fine and nice after that.
He also left some of the stuff from the garage in the shop. Hopefully it will stay that way, but right now he is loving the garage and how it looks. I feel kind of like it's a step in the right direction, but hard to say, because now his shop is even worse, if that makes sense. It's so stuffed even more now, that the little bit of floor area he at least had under the loft, where he had started putting up the ceiling and lights...well, now you can't even get under the loft, on the floor now, so I'm pretty sure this is going to delay him getting the ceiling and lights under the loft finished, because he can't even get to it now. Sigh....
But, in the meantime, I guess at least, we have gone down from 2 hoarded spaces to one hoarded space. I hope the garage stays like it is, but I'm not holding my breath. He will slowing start moving things back in, I'm sure. That's what he has to spend most of his time doing - just having to keep reorganizing his hoard.
I can see why you're frustrated. The end result of last night looks beautiful. DH and you are a partnership, and I get frustrated on your behalf when he gets snappy - but you hold your own! He needs professional help, because his brain is working against him and keeping things in disorganization, I think inside the home is your domain and he can accept it - outside, is his and he accepts his reality out there - and you don't fight him!
ReplyDeleteKeeping fingers crossed it stays like this
DeleteI would tell him that the far left bay (I'm assuming that's your car) is YOURS. Nothing of his is to cross the line! Can you say "if you haven't used it in the last year you don't need it"? You're way more patient than I would be...
ReplyDeletehe's always done pretty well with the first bay, that is my car. Trying to reason with someone who hoards doesn't work at all. While he can know logically what he should do, he can't part with his stuff
DeleteWith this picture you at least have proof it was once clean and all three vehicles are in the garage. Did you take this picture during day, night, or blue hour? The sky is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThe end result is the way it should be.
ReplyDeleteI would think he would be happy with that.
I leave the garage to my dh but I better have my parking space available. That's all I ask. My dh isn't a hoarder but I do find his atv and or john deere in there. They each have their designated indoor space.
I was laughing reading this because I would have responded to my dh exactly like you did. 😂
It would be such a shame for that space to get all cluttered up again wouldn't it - I wish you luck!
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ReplyDeleteMy sister's husband was a hoarder, big time. Their two car garage attached to the house was FULL of stuff. After the hubby and I got married, the family all came to the house for something, maybe Christmas. As I was giving them a tour, my sister said to her husband, "look Dan, they have CARS in their garage." When the doors on their garage were opened, there were boxes of things all the way to the front edge of the space, stacked head high. There was not even a path into the garage from this side. They had a door entering the garage from the house, and there was a SMALL path from the door. He passed three years ago and she is still working to get rid of things.
ReplyDeleteThat is sad for your sister. That is one thing I will not put myself through, especially for years, if dh dies before me. I'm not spending years going through it all. I'll tell my dd and her dh, if you know there is something out there you want and can find it/get to it, take it. Otherwise I'll be finding someone to just come take it all away
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