It's starting off a better morning than the past week +. My email is finally working again and the other company we use for expense reporting to sync into our accounting program, has finally resolved their issue and all is working again. Yay! Let's hope my email stays working.....
Mom's confusion with where she lives is continuing. So, about 2 years ago now, I guess (?) she sorta got this "boyfriend" where she lives. Then over the course of the next year she would tell me "oh he called it off" then the next time she'd mention him I'd say oh I thought he called it off? and she'd say no....anyway, the past year now, she's barely mentioned him, though the caregivers told me they still visit a lot. I think mom still thinks they are "together".
Last night K was running late. They have a client on hospice this past week, so that has taken up some extra time. She wasn't able to get there before 6:30pm when mom's med dispenser starts chiming (and light flashing) as the reminder it's time to take the meds. I saw her pick up her phone at 6:30 and say hello, but she didn't try to call me. I thought K will probably be there any minute. I'll give it to the next chiming at 6:35. Same thing, so I called mom. She first wanted to tell me that her guy friend called it off, she thinks he's with someone else new now. But she said that's ok. I said yes, that's ok, it's all good. Then she said something about she doesn't know what to do about where she's staying, she's going back to where she lives. I was like ?? She says she'll probably have to leave in 2-3 days. I asked why and something about the guy friend and it's his place? It didn't really make sense. I told her she's at her apartment and that's where she lives and then K came in and I told her I'd let her go take care of that and hung up. Then about a half hour later she calls me. Same thing. It's hard to quite get all what she is trying to convey, because she doesn't always remember the words, so it doesn't all make sense.
But the gist of it was she thinks she owns her apartment (I think she mentioned this on Friday when I was there). I kept reminding her she rents it. Then she'd say oh ok, yes you told me that. And then 30 seconds later she was saying she owned it. I finally decided ok, just go along with that she owns her apartment, no big deal. Then she says she probably should sell it then. OMG! So, I had to go back to no, you don't own this apartment, you rent it monthly. Then she asks how much that costs and I tell her around $3000 a month. "well, maybe I just need to find somewhere cheaper". I told her no, there isn't anywhere cheaper, everywhere else cost $5000 a month. We hang up. 20 minutes later she calls again, with the same thing. "I was thinking, do you think I should sell this place? I might get a good price for it, it might be a good time to sell". I told dh, hopefully, when she wakes up tomorrow morning, it's like a reset and she forgets about this latest fixation. The poor guy friend - I wonder how many times he's had to tell her they aren't a "couple" (she even said to me last night "well, I guess I didn't want to get married, so it's ok" LOL). I'm sure she just keeps forgetting they aren't a couple and he just has to keep telling her.
K texted me after she left mom's apartment to apologize for being late, they are still dealing with the hospice client. I said no worries. And then I added the last few nights she has seemed pretty confused where she is living and seems to think her apartment is just a hotel or someplace she's staying temporarily. She said she did notice a few evenings ago when she was walking back to her apartment with her after dinner that mom told her it wasn't her apartment :(
I just called her this morning to see how she's doing. All good. Nothing about her apartment and she seemed to know where she is. She said she was just about to go downstairs to see if anything is going on. Reset!
:( When my aunt stopped recognizing her home, that is when I knew we had progressed onto another sad stage. She lived there almost 40 years :( I hope the other facility you spoke with gets in touch soon, otherwise I am glad your mama has the support in place now.ReplyDelete
I'm going to have to call that place again, to work on getting her on the wait list. People that won't return calls or emails just create more work for themselves.Delete
You also might find that she is more confused in the late afternoon because of “sundowning”. It becomes hard to keep ahead of them. Experts say to not contradict them and just live in their world but I don’t agree. I don’t think it would help her at all to agree that she owns her apartment. Definitely try to get her name on the list because you just don’t know how fast she will regress.ReplyDelete
I think it probably is sundowning, since it happens most often in the evenings. I read that from experts, too, just agree with them, but it's hard sometimes! Like I didn't contradict her one of the times about her owning it, then she wanted to sell! Then what do I say to that? Then they say to redirect the conversation to something else, but that is hard for me, too. I find it so interesting that she is now thinking she's staying somewhere else/at a temporary place.Delete
What your mom is experiencing sounds to me like the normal progression of this disease. The situation will snowball. :*(ReplyDelete
very much the normal progression and unfortunately, I'm sure it will snowball.Delete
I really need to try to do better at it! It's hard when some new "reality" comes out of the blue and the instant reaction is to correct it. Afterwards I can then think "oh, I should have said this instead".ReplyDelete