I am so glad I decided to take today off. I got the big tree up yesterday (about 5 hours) and other than a few things, the house is done. Now I can relax today and shop. SIL is done. Three gifts for DD are done. I'm getting my mom a cover for her office chair. It's just some stretch fabric that goes over the seat and back pieces. I went with pink, as she has a small antique loveseat that is pink. She often will say she thinks that chair sitting at her desk is getting worn out (it's not!) or the color is ugly, or someone changed chairs on her. But, I also have a feeling if I put the cover on, she's going to think it's not her chair.
So, uncle called her last night and he got a taste of her not knowing where she is. It was the thinking she was at a hotel and she doesn't have her car so she can't go home. Of course experiencing her doing that fo the first time will throw you for a loop and apparently it did to him. He was freaking out a bit over it. He called me back a little later, thinking he should fly over to see her...but not sure....He's almost 80, though in good health, that's still a lot for a guy who hasn't flown since the 70's. He asked me to check into flights. It's not a direct flight from where he lives, so that adds to the trip. I told him it's certainly not an emergency! He could call her tomorrow and she'll be normal, it just goes back and forth but is definitely happening more often. I also explained sundowning and that it's mostly common for her to do this in the evening. She had gone to bed at around 7pm (it keeps getting earlier) last night and he called her at 7:30, so I'm sure she was even more out of it. I'm sure when I talk to him today, he'll have calmed down. Plus trying to book a flight in the next month or so is $600-700. If he waited until Jan the price is $250-300. Plus if he does decide to come I really want him to know what to expect in terms of being able to visit/spend time with her. She really won't be able to hold a conversation and it will just be her repeating the same few questions over and over, which after about an hour or so, most people are ready to pull their hair out. Even me, who is very patient, can only take it for a little while. I cannot tell you how many times she asked me, while here at Thanksgiving, "how long have you lived here now?" Literally about every 10 minutes. I honestly told him at this point he'd be coming for himself (which is totally fine) but that she may remember him, but she definitely will forget right away that he visited. If he really wants to see her (and knowing he doesn't like to travel) I'd suggest he fly in one day, visit with her, come stay at our house for the night and visit her again the next day for a bit, if the timing worked out, before flying back home.
I know my uncle - he's a flake and once he calms down after this call with her from last evening, he'll decide not to come, which is totally fine. I know he likes to call her in the evenings, but I'm going to suggest he try day time every so often, too. It's just harder to get a hold of her because she is gone for 3 meals and then hardly in her apartment the rest of the time due to activities and just being out in the common areas, rather than her apartment.
I'm hoping I don't have to deal too much today with the side job emails. I think I might make some peanut butter cookies and try to go over my gift lists and finish up as much as possible.
May be when you go to visit her, you can have her facetime with your uncle. (Or via whatsapp, or zoom, or Teams) It sounds like a long trip for a gentleman his age. If your uncle does not know how to have a video conference due to his age, I am sure there are acquaintances who can help him.ReplyDelete
I was just thinking the same thing T'Pol. Better than having him fly out, I think!Delete
It is certainly hard to understand the state she is in unless a person has experienced it before in someone. Even though it has been 60 years ago, I vividly remember my grandmother's condition. If she sees you put the cover on the chair, will she take it off? A pink love seat? I want one of those when I go off to a home like hers. Did you ever get the simple remote for your mother?ReplyDelete
You have certainly been busy with decorating. Your talk of baking cookies makes me want cookies.
I have a feeling, as much as she's complained about that chair (it's brown) and wants something "with color" as soon as I get it the new cover on there, she's going to be weird about it....and if I have to move her soon, well the chair won't be going, so it's probably a waste, but I already ordered it (it was only like $12)Delete
You know your uncle pretty well, lol. It would be nice if he did visit her at least once more, but I don't think he will, you're spot on.ReplyDelete
I don't think he will either - he was supposed to come this last summer LOL. He doesn't like to travel yet he's always making "plans" that never follow through. I guess like 50+ years of it, I know what to expect from him. Plus I don't expect a 78 year old to want to travel either.Delete