Thursday, December 3, 2020

Emails, calls, and chats

Yay! The apartment manager emailed me back with an EFT form so we can start doing automatic rent payments from mom's checking account each month. Thank goodness. I am so tired of having to remind my mom, then ask  again her if she paid it, then check to make sure it's cleared the bank, then ask her again....The manager said it will start in January, so for December, they will just need a check by the 5th.......which lead me to think she didn't take the check downstairs to them on Tuesday! Good grief. So, I emailed back the form and a voided check back to her right away and asked if they got her Dec check yet. 

While I'm waiting for her to reply back my mom calls and asks (again) if I have her bank of america checks.....then she says well I think I have a check I need to write for rent...I said on Tuesday, the first, you told me you did already out of your new checks. So, she found her new check register and she did list writing a check to her apartment.......but she put the date in her check register as 1/2, so now we didn't know if she actually dated the check wrong or not. She says she's going downstairs to ask. I told her next month it will start coming out automatically. I'm so DONE with this, LOL.So far today, I've had to do 2 more phone calls just to figure out if she wrote a check or wrote it correct or not. In addition to the 2 calls we had about it due on the 1st. So, she just called me back - she did give them a check and it was dated December. Ok, that should be the last of any rent check issues I'll have to deal with from now on.

She tries to blame the problems that she can't figure out her checkbook anymore on that she just doesn't do it all herself now or just doesn't do it as much. I tried letting her do's a mess. She can't remember what to pay. She can't figure out what she's writing in her register, things crossed out, etc. She can't remember to write in her SS deposit or her payments (just 3, now will be 4) that come out automatically each month anymore.

I sent my uncle a link to the Amazon Echo/Alexa thing. He had described me his (cylinder shaped) and about $100, but it appears the new generation versions are more like a ball and on sale for $70. I did comment in my email that I'm not sure she's going to be able to remember to say "Alexa..." to get it to tell her the weather report or play music. I said I can't get her to remember she has a "guide" button on her tv remote control to see what shows are on. He replied back that he doesn't think she'll end up using it either.

I also emailed the cabinet lady again. It's been over 2 weeks since my first email with no reply. Any bets on this email? Most likely I'll have to leave a couple of voicemails before she finally emails me back. I'm considering just emailing the cabinet mfg to see if there are any other authorized sellers in my area. They have a page on their website to locate dealer, but you have to fill out a form to get the info, so I'll give her this month to reply back.

I realized I never saw an email confirmation or shipping confirmation for the Christmas lights I ordered on Saturday, though my credit card was charged. I was online trying to figure out how to get a hold of them and there was a chat feature, so I gave my zip code and he found my order# and that it was shipped out today and also gave me the tracking#.

Then the 2 shower curtains I ordered, one for me and one for dd arrived. But there was only 1 in the package. The packing slip shows 2, also. Looking online at my order it appears that both show shipped together. There isn't a separate tracking for a 2nd one. The only thing I could find for reporting this was to report an item needing to be returned. Finally I found a chat support (after I had to google how to find it) and then once I started chatting it was resolved pretty quickly and they are supposed to be sending me the additional one now.  This is the shower curtain we both liked



  1. Maybe you can get everything out of her hands so she does not need a checkbook. She may complain, but you can congratulate her on getting it all done so easily. I met a man who found out his wife had dementia when a guy she mailed a check to called the husband, telling him she owed $60 and had written the check for $6000. I hope she does not start writing checks wrong.

    I like the shower curtain.

    1. I'm kind of gradually trying to work it so I have it all. I took all her old checks and register and only left her with one book of her new checks. I think now that her rent will start coming out auto and she will rarely need to write a check, eventually I can just say, "oh let me to it all now" But for now, she still wants to have some control

  2. getting them to give up control is the hardest thing. and I will likely be the same at my mom's age. but as I got more and more of her bills sent by email and paid directly, she had less interest in the account. I did set up a separate email address that all the stuff goes to that she doesn't really need to worry about. For example, any automated bill notices are sent to the email that only I check. She doesn't even have the account on her computer. it sounds controlling, but I am saving us both a lot of worry.

    1. I am doing the same exact thing now! I set up her auto pay bills to my email and any notifications, like her bank or credit card come to my phone or email. You are right, the more I'm automating and getting the stuff out of her email, the less interest she is having as time goes by. I'm hoping that eventually I'll just delete the bank log in from her computer and she'll forget about it, LOL. Thanks again for the input!