I have to admit, reading Sluggy's comment on my post yesterday was like a punch in the gut. My first quick thought was she hacked?! I have read her blog for years and I assume(d) she mine. We don't comment regularly on each other's blogs, but on occasion we do and she (and I) has always been kind. I know over the years I have supported her on her blog at least a couple of times from trolls. One time years ago, when I first started to try ancestry research, we emailed a little bit and I was appreciative of her knowledge and help with learning it she gave me.
Monday evening I watched the TED Talk about pain management she posted. I wanted to comment (from my experience with my dh), but I was on my ipad downstairs, so I decided to wait until I was up at my desk and keyboard yesterday morning. I clicked on her blog and was surprised to see it was closed and only open to invited readers. I went on to write my daily post and then do my work.
I saw her comment later in the afternoon. I decided to not react then. I then saw her 2 comments on Kim's blog. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt this morning. Usually time and thinking can lessen the sting of something, right? Unfortunately, it didn't seem to help much. Though, to EVERYONE who commented after her: THANK YOU. Your kind words and support mean the world to me and I appreciate all of them.
DAN will likely be our neighbor for many years. We are a very small neighborhood of 7 lots. If we had just minded our own business, DAN would have built his 10,000 sf metal warehouse monstrosity next door and operated a business, and tried to add in a new access road. So, no, I'm not going to mind my own business as to what he is doing. We all paid good money for our properties and homes we had built and we all deserve to make sure they are protected (via the covenants) from someone like him.
As for my mom - well, (and sorry to offend anyone, I really don't often cuss) you can just fuck right off. I can't change the fact that
my mom has Alzheimer's/dementia. All I can do is make sure she is well
cared for, comfortable and happy and that I take care of her financial
assets so that she will continue to be cared for in this manner as long
as she lives with this horrible disease. She is my priority and has been
for the past 4 years now. Like most people, I can worry about and take
care of more than one thing at a time. Been doing it my whole life. I'm
pretty good at it, actually.
Sluggy, I sincerely hope you get the relief from the pain you are experiencing. As for your contempt of what I write in my blog, my simple answer is just to not read it anymore. Easy, done. Then you won't have to be a hypocrite by telling me to mind my own business, while you are telling me what to do with my life.
Slow, appreciative clapping and cheering going on here. Well said.
ReplyDeleteI never got into that blog because it wasn't my cup of tea. It seemed a whole lot of "this is what I'm doing and don't tell me if you believe I should be doing something else." WHICH IS A FINE ATTITUDE TO HAVE. You do you, boo. That's my belief. But also why I don't read blogs I don't care for.
So naturally, I didn't know about the pain management post or other things going on. However, I will add to this conversation that I have had four spinal surgeries and I know myself in that if I'm in pain, I'm not as nice as I could be. I realize that and compensate for it by shutting up.
I try to go by these rules: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? You have to figure out a way to meet all three questions.
I'm glad you are undeterred.
I am not deterred at all - just surprised and shocked by what she wrote.
DeleteYour blog - you get to talk about anything you want. People can chose to read it......or not. This isn't rocket science, people. Just move along. I hope you get an apology, as you are certainly due one.
ReplyDeletethank you, and that's what I will continue to do. It's just a blog, LOL.
DeleteYour response today has been eloquent and dignified and unbelievably kind, given what was written.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I tried to write it with as much grace as I could muster. Her comment was just plain rude.
DeleteGood response!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteYour response is exactly what I would expect from you. I know that Sluggy is suffering, physically and emotionally. It does not make her comment ok at all. I can tell that she just wishes all she had to complain about was an annoying neighbour, you know? I think that was at the heart of her comment, somewhere. The comment was mean spirited and nothing can take away from that, however. You didn't deserve that comment, and again folks are free to walk away when it does not suit them.
ReplyDeletethank you. I don't think I'll ever understand why people have to comment mean and rude things on people's blogs, other than they just must be miserable type of people, so they get some endorphins from it to make themselves feel better for a minute.
DeleteI enjoy reading your blog. Feels like receiving a letter from an old and far away friend. On an entirely different note, hope your DD and SIL are enjoying their trip in the UK.
ReplyDeleteThank you - I feel the same way when you post :). DD and SIL are having such a great time! They are now in Scotland, staying a few days on the Isle of Skye at an airbnb home.
DeleteI was actually thinking about you yesterday but was so busy I missed both your entry and the comments. But I did catch up this morning and you are gracious and kind in your reply. Sorry Sluggy is struggling mightily, but no reason to lash out that way.
ReplyDeleteBut I was thinking about you because I just started a remote accounting/bookkeeping job and cleaning up their quickbooks files while entering new transactions and paying bills, etc. Plus I have the joy of learning their complicated payroll system and chasing people down for receipts and expense reporting. I rarely comment but always feel as if we are leading parallel lives - accounting, husbands retired with chronic pain issues, collectors of various stuff and unable to let go, suffer from periodic bouts of I'm-talking-and-I-cannot-shut-up syndrome.
Well, we sure do sound similar! Thank you for commenting. I was sorry to read Sluggy was struggling so with the pain and that is why the next morning the first thing on my mind when I got on my computer was to go and comment on her TED talk video about pain. Crazy how it all turned around. The chasing people down to turn in their expense reports is the worst! How can they not want/need the money reimbursed to them?! I just shake my head at a few of our salespeople who wait months to turn them in.
DeleteIt’s interesting to learn different town zoning and land laws, and your area is beautiful. It’s also touching and educational as you have been taking care of your mother through her Alz journey. That’s very difficult. While I don’t always agree with you, I enjoy your blog and this response. If I didn’t, I just wouldn’t read it. I’m not sure why others feel the need to sit there an publish blog comments just to be rude… that’s what Facebook is for, not blogs, lol.
ReplyDeleteI guess if we all always agreed with each other, things would be pretty boring to read. I read blogs every day that I don't always agree with, but I keep my mouth shut or if by some chance I do reply, it's with respect. I see absolutely no reason to be rude on someone else's blog. It's amazing what people will comment on Facebook, isn't it? I wouldn't even do it there, LOL.
DeleteLong time reader, first time comment. I never understood being unpleasant on some one else’s blog. I have read sludgy, and don’t agree with certain things she says, so I stopped reading. It’s not for me to judge someone’s life or situations. I totally understand having frustrating neighbors, and I might be accused of ‘not minding my business’ too. But when it affects me and my family, then it IS my business. Their rights end where mine begin. I support you and see exactly where you are coming from. Best, Liz
ReplyDeleteYou sound just like my dh! he has used that same saying "their rights end where mine begin" many times. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog, I appreciate it :)
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