It's probably just mostly me and my lack of trust of people (sadly, mostly family members) I've gained over the years, but while, I don't think my uncle has ever tried to get a bunch of money out of my mom, she has "lent" him money (usually around $2,000) several times over the years (that I've never seen any paid back after I started watching her account a couple years ago), I do believe that the reason's he tells her it's for is made up half the time. Lots of examples, but like when he told my mom he'd take her car (as a gift from her) because he could use it, as his truck is getting old. Then he sold it before even transferring the title.....but I knew that was going to happen. She didn't need the car (or the money from it's sale) and it needed new batteries (2010 Prius) too. It wasn't something she could have taken care of selling on her own, so I don't mind, but then after she gave him the car he turned around and said he was going to sell it, because he needed the money to replace his roof, which wouldn't surprise me if that was made up, too.
So, anyhow, 2-3 weeks ago he calls me up. He's mentioned before she is constantly asking him if he needs money and he tells her he's fine. She does the same thing to me, so I'm sure he's telling the truth. (DD said when she told her she was starting her Masters study, she asked if she needed money to pay for it, and dd told her no, her employer is paying). He said he feels funny bringing it up, but he wanted to run it by me. He said she keeps telling him she wants to send him some money, and he had, I guess, mentioned her was thinking of getting a new computer (mostly just trying to think of things to make conversation, since he calls her almost daily for a few minutes), so she said she wanted to buy it for him. He told me "I don't need the money for it, but she just keeps offering, so I thought I'd just take it and put it in my safe deposit box and her money can just sit there"......I was thinking to myself "ya...sure it will". So, I just said well, if she wants to give you some and you could use it, I wouldn't have a problem with you using it, you don't need to keep it for her. We went back and forth a bit, but he still said if she sent the money he'd just put the cash in his safe deposit box. I said, well, you're more than likely going to have to remind her or she will forget about it tomorrow. So, 2-3 weeks pass and I've seen no check clear her bank.
So, the call/message he left Sunday night wasn't about her meals, it was about her constant offering of money. He was kind of himhawing and said he didn't even know how to word his question....but does she have like $10k that's easily accessible to write a check? I said well, sometimes. She does right now as I just did a transfer from her investment savings, plus she gets her monthly soc sec, so she's usually good for 4-5 months. I said I don't like to keep too much in her checking, just in case of fraud. Then he says "well, would she be able to do a monthly transfer to me of say like $900 a month?" I started to say, well, I suppose.....but it would have to be something I do, as she wouldn't remember it and then he says "I don't need the money - I'm just trying to think of a way so she thinks she's helping me out and I'll just put the cash in my safe deposit box"........oh right.....so I'm going to send him $900 a month to put in a safe deposit box?! I don't think so. I said well, I don't want $900 a month of her money sitting in a safe deposit box, when her investment broker guy can be investing it and doing the great job he's been doing with all her money!. He said oh, right, ya that's very true. Then he said "oh, how about next time she mentions it I'll just tell her she earns better interest, so she needs to keep her money in her account". I also told him she offers me money probably at least once a week and you just have to say to her "no, I'm good. If I need some money, I'll let you know". Just change the subject with her. Geez.
Then he texted me back about 15 minutes later that he just talked to her and told her she earns better interest in her account, so keep it there, thanks for the idea. ok........
I told dd I guess I'm just too suspicious of people. I went to her cell phone call log to see if there's a call to her, like he said he made after he got off the phone with me. There's no call from him until 7pm in the evening last night....If he's going to lie about something as small as that, what else is lies? I also told her my hunch is he wanted to throw it out there, to see how gullible I am and if I said sure "send $10k one time, or $900 a month" but when I didn't bite, then he backed off and made it sound like he just didn't know how to get her stop asking him if he needs money, or telling him she wanted to send some. And like DD said - even if she did give him a one time amount or a monthly amount, she'd totally forget it happened and would be back to square one with it all again, anyway.
My gut is he does want money, probably mentions it to her in some sly way and of course, she says sure...and then of course 5 minutes after she hangs up she's totally forgotten about it, so he knows he has to go through me to try to get it. Who knows. Daily conversations with her are always just repeating yourself and talking about the same stuff - deal with it.