Whew! It's been an exhausting couple of days. I got my mom picked up - at 2pm!! I lost count how many times I had to tell her what time, but at least besides the 3 calls before I left my house to pick her up, there weren't any more, which was surprising. After picking her up I got my Walmart order picked up, which for once went smoothly and we were back to my house around 3:30. Dinner was just leftover taco soup and some french bread. DD and her dh got here around 7pm. I think mom went to bed around 8:30 or 9.
After getting back with mom I totally forgot about making the pie. I had gotten premade crust with my grocery order. So at 9:30 I said to dd "feel like making a pie?" LOL. The 4 of us were still catching up anyway and I got to bed about 11. The pie was supposed to cool 2 hours and then go in fridge, so I had to set my phone alarm to wake me back up to do that.
Yesterday was good. DD brought lots of delicious snacks. Turkey and all the trimmings dinner was ready about 3pm. In between the morning prep and waiting for turkey to get done son in law helped dh carry down the big 12 ft Christmas tree from the storage upstairs, which was a huge help. He set up the bottom section (there are 5 sections to it) and I started unfluffing it. What a job. Mom started to help and I thought oh this is a good activity for her, but she only did a couple branches and said standing there hurt her back, which I totally get. Mine was getting sore too, bent over to that first level.
My elbow was a little better but of course using it all day didn't help. Plus my neck was bothering me again and by dinner prep time I had a headache. DD has always been a great cleaner upper of all the dinner dishes. She and her dh just got Netflix so we turned that on our tv and started watching a funny "cowboy life" show. DH and SIL fell asleep. My mom kept saying "we can watch something else if you want" LOL. DD and I were like no, this is good. She must have asked me 30 times what time I was taking her home. She didn't end up going up to bed until like 9:30, which I was kind of surprised she was up that late.
Then over the next few hours my mom got totally confused. She kept saying as she was going to bed that she was going to set her alarm. I kept saying no need. We have all morning to get ready and not taking you home until after lunch. I went to bed at 11. About 20 minutes or so later dd tapped on my door (she was still up) saying Grandma is awake and doesn't know where her purse is. I said well, it was in her red bag when she brought it in from the car. DD went back up and helped her look but couldn't find it. She just told her it's here somewhere and we'll have to find it in the morning. DD also told me she must have messed with the alarm clock because it now said 3am. Then she got up another time standing up at the stair railing that overlooks down into the living room and asked dh what time it is. Then a little after midnight dh woke me up because he accidentally got something in his eye. I had to get it out with a q-tip.
I noticed the bedroom light on up in the guest room mom was in, so I went upstairs to check on her. Just as I got to the top of the stairs she had closed her bedroom door, but I went over and tapped and opened it. She was standing there by the door, light still on, holding her cellphone open and looks all surprised to see me and says something like "oh, it's you!". I asked her if she was ok. She said she was confused. Boy howdy was she. She had no idea where she was or what time of day it was. I told her she is at my house and then she calmed down some. She was worried about her purse, worried she couldn't lock the door, worried about setting the alarm to get up in the morning. I found her purse under the comforter. Explained she's at my house and the bedroom doors don't lock, but all the doors to outside downstairs are locked and got her clock fixed to 12:20am. I told her it's after midnight and time to go to sleep. She said she was ok now and was going to sleep.
So, of course I hardly slept, worrying about her. I think I got 5 hours sleep last night. And she woke up, just like everything reset. No memory of last night and told us all she slept great. She was her "normal" self all morning. We had a nice breakfast. Did some tree decorating and then had some lunch and took her back to her place. I'm sure she was happy to get back where she's comfortable and knows her surroundings well and her routine. Poor mom.
I guess it's good that your mother seems at home in her apartment.
ReplyDeleteAfter my FIL's dementia developed, he would say he wanted to "go home" (to his previous house, but they had lived in the new house for almost 10 years). My husband would wheel him around and point things out to him. Usually when he brought him outside, he would remember it was his house. It's called "sundowning" when the confusion kicks in at night. So sad.
I have read of people doing that, too and that the term is sundowning. My mom was like that the night we moved her over here. Very long day and she was so so over tired from it all.
DeleteI was going to ask if this was "sundowning." It is too bad. I can see how living with you would be stressful for both of you. Too bad. But, it sounds like a good thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that's what it was. Just too much for her brain to take in for 2 days.
DeleteWe spent the afternoon at my daughter’s house yesterday and my husband was really confused last night. Their brains definitely get tired before their bodies do. I think it becomes easier for them to just stay home and celebrate in their normal environment.
ReplyDeletethat's what a friend of mine told her about her mom. It just got easier for them to visit where she was then to try to take her to stay or visit them.
DeleteChanges in routines can cause much more confusion and i was wondering how she was getting on in your house. She may not be as good when she goes home for a few days. I worked in memory heath for over 30yrs sylvia
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are right, plus add in extra guests and pets here at the same time. Just a lot for her to process.
DeleteMy heart goes out to both you and your mom. Excitement and exhaustion must have caused all that confusion in the middle of the night. Glad she was back to normal after a good sleep.
ReplyDeleteIt's very sad to watch her be so confused.
DeleteI hadn't heard that expression Sundowning before, Bobbie and Practical Parsimony. It certainly explains my MiL a lot.
ReplyDeleteWhen she visited us - once! - she got up through the night repeatedly and stood on the landing, trying to get her bearings.
Now I worry that she might try to walk down the steps during the night if she's staying here!
DeleteMy mother also has dementia and is going through all of the same problems. My heart goes out to you. It is difficult.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult. I'm sorry your mothers is going through it, too. It all just doesn't seem fair, does it?
DeleteI guess like most older people your mom needs the familiarity of her usualy surroundings to feel secure. I'm glad you had her over but I'm sure she's glad to be back in her own place too!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she feels much more comfortable being back at her own apartment.
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