Of course, first thing this morning my boss emailed to ask how the weekend went. I said "EXHAUSTING" and emailed her a bit what is going on. She said she'd call me later. She is such a great person to have in my life. She's always so level headed and it's great to have her for advice and a sounding board. She said she felt the same way when she was telling me about her parents care problems a few years ago.
She thinks that my mom should tell SB what she wants and that she wants to change it to me. That way, nothing looks sneaky to SB. If we just go and do it and then tell him it looks like we are trying to be sneaky. and I agree. I think that was bothering me a bit, even though it sounded like a good idea, to quickly take control back for my mom and just don't tell him until we do it.
She can tell him and if he has an issue and wants to talk to me about it he can, and he can also talk to my uncle, who will tell him the same thing. We have nothing to hide and are not trying to do anything irresponsible with my mom, her money or her health.
I don't really think he has had any bad intentions with her money. I think BF got to meet him a few times (SB would come down and have lunch with my mom like 2-3 times a year) and BF decided he should get him involved with her care/money going forward - either because he felt I shouldn't or felt I couldn't because I live out of state. I'll probably never know the real reason. But, I'm guessing my uncle's hunch is probably right, that they thought we were taking advantage of her.
I decided to answer his email and be somewhat detailed in my reply. I'm thinking the more I come across like I know what I am doing and tell him the things I am doing for her, the better. I'm just kind of trying to sound a bit assertive and like "this is what I think should happen and this is what I did for her" with the issues he brought up.
But, I'm not letting him tell me what I should do. I just always ignore that and don't respond. He doesn't get it both ways. He doesn't get to have complete control of her life and then tell me what I'm supposed to be doing.