The in-laws

I had this long post about them, that just kept getting longer and longer. No one wants to read all that detail, LOL.

Here's the main scoop. FIL's heart surgery to place the stent did not work and he appears to now have additional problems because of their attempt at the surgery. Now he has a blockage in his leg on the side they went in through his groin and messed up the stent he did have there (at least that is how I am understanding this from SIL texts). He is still in ICU, condition seems to go up and down. He's got some pain in his leg and numbness in leg and foot now.

When he is able to be let out of ICU, they want him to go into a rehab facility. SIL says to them "but, there's no one at home to take care of my mom". Not their issue and he certainly wouldn't be well enough at this point to care for her anyway. I don't think SIL thought that through all the way.

For now (since Friday) SIL has been staying at her parents and taking care of her mom (and they've been trying to visit FIL, but he's an hour or more away, with traffic). Of course all this stress is making her dementia off the charts and making her extremely hard to deal with. (yelling, hitting, etc). If FIL has to be in rehab, even for a little while, MIL really needs to be in a nursing home. But, that of  course opens up a whole new can of worms. FIL's rehab facility would be covered by medicaid/insurance. MIL's would not - so even a month or two would eat up their savings. It was discussed among the siblings, again, about getting that awful house sold. But, if FIL does get to come home at some point, then where to? I know SIL just wants MIL in a nursing home. She can't deal with her, plus she has a full time job she needs to be at.

And she seems to be stressing over "how" to sell the crappy house. Spend the money first to fix it up, so they could get out of it what it should be worth? Just sell as is? BIL suggested listing as is, but with allowances for what needs to be replaced/repaired. That seems to be a popular way to sell nowadays, so the buyers have cash to do the fixes. I know FIL has a part in why she's stressing. Because he sees his house as "all good" and should be worth what the house in good condition is worth. Well, it's NOT worth that, at all. It's worth what it's worth and that is how much you have as an asset for it...not what is SHOULD be worth. Putting the money and time it would take to have it fixed up, probably isn't going to gain them much in the end, anyway. Why go through the hassle.

Then evening before last while SIL was trying to care for MIL, MIL wouldn't wait for her and tried to get out of her wheelchair and fell and hit her head. SIL took her to ER, where they did a scan and everything was ok, but then it was discovered she has a UTI, so they decided to keep her in overnight. She's not cooperating at all. Won't eat or take her meds. Getting violent, hitting nurses and doctors. I guess she got so bad last evening, they called SIL to ask if they could put her in restraints. SIL said just wait, I'm on my way over (she only lives a few miles from the hospital). DH talked to MIL on the phone while SIL was on the way over there, then she was calm as can be, LOL. She stayed calmed down after SIL got there (and brought her her favorite coffee) and got her to eat some dinner. Then she finally fell asleep. Only to be woken up so they could draw blood. Which they were trying to find veins. SIL is like "why aren't you using the port that has already been set up to draw blood? You won't get into her veins, they are collapsed". Then she suddenly realized they have not had her on her oxygen! She has one and a half lungs, she is always on oxygen. Good grief. And SIL told them not to wake her up during the night.

In the meantime, FIL is fighting having to go to a rehab facility, mainly because he thinks he needs to be home taking care of MIL. SIL certainly can't take care of both of them! I seem to recall something about when my grandma was in the hospital - I'm sure I have this remembered wrong, but it was something about if she was in the hospital 3 days, and then transferred to rehab/nursing facility it would be covered for awhile? I know there are social workers also helping SIL navigate through this and if it worked out, the social worker at FIL's hospital and the social worker at MIL's hospital are trying to coordinate getting them sent to the same place.

I was just thinking a couple weeks ago, boy - we've been lucky these past months this year. Neither MIL or FIL has had any major health issues where they needed to be hospitalized. It seemed like for a couple of years MIL was having something happen every few months or so.

And this still ended up long!