It was a very productive day yesterday and I am glad I ended up making the appointment to tour the memory care facility earlier in the day. Dh went in with me, too. The wait is over - what do you know, they have an available room - 2 rooms in fact, or it might have even been 3! (one was being fixed up, not ready yet). The only rooms available are the ones with a shared bathroom in between 2 rooms. He said the private bath rooms (which they don't have as many of) are like a year wait, which of course we cannot wait. Honestly, at this point I don't think it will make a difference to mom.
It's a very nice place, nicer/newer than where she currently lives and much nicer than the assisted living place I toured last June. And it better be nice for the monthly cost! But, I had already done my research and expected this. He took us back to where the memory care section is. Fully secure and also has it's own entrance around the block for when visiting. It's kind of an open concept space. A big open area with the rooms on each side, no hallways to deal with. The open area is kind of broken up into areas, dining, activities, sitting lounge. Of course the "studios" are not very big at all, about 20x10 (not including the bathroom). He then said maybe he can show us one of the residents rooms all furnished and decorated to give us an idea, it was next to an available room. The lady was the absolute sweetest and was happy to show us her room. So nicely decorated and homey. She held a conversation quite normally and both dh and I were thinking "she needs to be here?" but like dh said later, 15 minutes later we could have probably went back and she wouldn't have remembered talking to us. I decided to take that room, knowing she'd be sharing a bathroom with someone so sweet, like my mom is sweet. I think they will get along great. Plus the room is down at the back end, so kind of a bit quieter area, where her door isn't opening right into the dining area or a busy area. And the bedroom window view is nicer than the first room he showed us, that looked into the little parking lot.
I think he said there are 20 residents capacity in the memory care part. Each residents care is customized to their needs. He said for example, the lady we saw her room, she has never liked breakfast all her life and likes to sleep in, so that's what they do for her. DH was a little worried about sharing a bathroom/privacy. He said they had one family that was insistent their dad needed a private room and was on the waiting list for one, but came to the point they had to take a shared bath room and then planned to move him into a private as soon as one was available. When it became available they changed their mind and said he's doing fine with it, no need to change.
He also gave me the cards of a moving company that specializes in moving seniors. It sounds like they will take care of so much of it, right down to figuring out what of her current furniture will fit in the new space and getting it all set up. They are also set up with a nearby geriatrician MD who comes in to do house calls. I will definitely switch mom to using this doctor. Incontinence supplies can either be supplied by family or I can chose to have them do it. I chose to have them do it.
Knowing we lived out of the city, he then offered that the lady that does the assessment of the resident prior to moving in could do it right then if I wanted. Perfect, let's get that done while I'm in town, rather than having to make another trip in. He and the nurse met me over at mom's place, which was nice and easy. When I got there she had just come out in to the lobby area after having lunch. I was signing in and waved at her and she waved, but she did not realize it was me, until I actually went right over to her. Once the memory care guy and gal got there we were just able to go sit down in a little room nearby with some tables and chairs and the lady started asking her questions. None of which she could answer or if she did her answer was wrong. If the lady had just gone off of mom's answers she wouldn't even need care at all, LOL.
Moving in will be at least a couple of weeks away, and since I'm out of town for 4 1/2 days in 2 weeks, it's going to be at least 3 weeks out. Just depends on when the movers can do it.
AND UGGGHHH! K just texted me and yet again she has had a bathroom accident...it's all just diarrhea and K asked if she's had her colon/bowels checked out before and I said not that I'm aware, not since she moved here almost 3 years ago. She said since she's been caring for her and occasionally sees her have a bm (like shower days) she's now realized her stools have always been very soft or liquid. Something is going on. So, I just called her dr and we have an appt for 3pm. At a minimum get her something to help firm up her stools and also figure out what is causing it. And schedule a carpet cleaner again.......