I have mom scheduled to move on Friday Feb 3rd. Might even push it up 2 or 3 days earlier. But mostly a Friday sounds good to me. Then I have the weekend to decompress a bit and also go in and check on her (if they recommend this. I have read some places like the family to wait a bit while they settle in).This moving service sounds awesome. They basically do it ALL. The lady is very familiar with where she lives now and where she's moving. She even assists with "space planning" as she knows what will fit in those memory care rooms. I'm having them do it ALL. She will stop by mom's place in the next couple of days to see what she has, plus I told her what I for sure want to move over (bed, nightstand, recliner, lamps, etc).
She said packing, moving the stuff over (like a block) and setting up her room will take half a day. Then they will come back to her old apartment and totally clean it out for me. Take to donations whatever I do not want to keep/take with me. Basically, the only thing I have to do is just take mom and keep her busy until her new room is ready. Everything else will be taken care of by this mover. This will be so much easier than I was envisioning, especially I was trying to figure out how to get all the remaining stuff out of her apartment (it would take several trips to Goodwill in my car). I am so relieved. I told dd I really don't think she needs to fly over here to help me. This moving lady will by my "dd" for the day, haha. I think I've decided to just let the little antique loveseat go. Neither dd or I want it. The moving lady said they can also take it and try to sell it for me, so I will probably do that.
I explained mom has a big, long dresser that I think might be too big for the new room. She agreed it probably will. There is a built in shelves in her new room, on the wall between her closet and the bathroom door. She said a lot get small baskets (like from Target) and use those for items like socks, underwear, etc. and put the baskets in the built in shelves. I also told her mom has this small 3 bin plastic "cabinet" that would probably work well to put on the floor in her closet and put those things in and she said definitely.
The doctor appointment was pretty much a waste of time. No answer really. She and I both agreed it's also a bit hard to know 100% since I'm getting it 2nd hand from caregivers that are only with her a very short portion of her days. She said she thinks it's just due to her later stage Alzheimer's now, it's common for them to not know when they need to use the bathroom. I said yes, I realize that, but why the daily diarrhea/loose stools? the alzheimers causes that? Well....yes....no...maybe....we don't know if mom is having normal one to two a day bm's or if she is having this multiple times a day. She's not presenting any other common symptoms like colitis, c-diff. She's having no stomach pain, no fever, no blood in stools. She then said she could have us do stool samples to test, but that would involve K or the other ladies to have to try to get a stool sample and deal with all that. I then, in as few words as possible, so mom didn't really know what I was talking about, told the dr that I am putting her in memory care in 3 weeks. I said let's just wait until then and they are more equipped to deal with getting a stool sample, if it's necessary. I then pressed to ask is there something I can give her now, at least for the time being, to help with the diarrhea and she said like Imodium was ok to try, so we stopped at the drugstore and I picked some up and left up in mom's top kitchen cupboard shelf and let K know to start giving one with her other pills, Hopefully this will at least help lessen the mess she is making, until I can get her moved.
It was a good Amazon delivery day! A bunch of stuff I ordered from my gift cards came all at once. It was nice that they actually put like 5 or 6 things in one box! In it's own box was my new Keurig Supreme coffee maker. Yay! But my current reusable kcups don't work in this model as it's a multi stream, so I just had to order reusable kcups for it and now will wait a week for that, LOL. The only kcup pods I have are for a decaf that I use every so often. I'm waiting to get the new reusable kcups before I get rid of my old keurig.
I received the new kitchen throw rug I ordered. Cat approved. It's really soft. Just needs the folds flattened out of it, hopefully it will flatten after awhile.
And then to add to his stamp of approval he went upstairs and brought his mouse toy downI also received the cover for my new ipad, which seems really nice. It even came with a cloth to wipe the screenAnd last but not least, this cute set of bathroom "holders".The toothbrush holder will be easy to clean, just put the jar in the dishwasher. One of the little jars with the twine on it I can use for qtips. I think the other is for like cotton balls, but I really don't use those. Trying to think what I could use the other small jar for. Maybe I'll repurpose it for some other area of my house, or the guest bathroom. The whole set was only $18.
Ok, I think mom is ok this morning and is down at breakfast now. Praying for an uneventful day so I can get some work done and not stress (as much ha!). I'm glad my job/boss is so accommodating, one less thing to stress about (though I still do to some extent, just a work ethic thing, I guess)
Oh that moving service sounds amazing, and so helpful. I am glad a lot of the worry of moving is taken care of for you now. As you said, doctor wasn't too much help re: the loose bowel movements but hopefully the immodium helps. I personally think it's what she is or is not eating- maybe not enough fibre or roughage in the food? or just not taking enough food in! either way, hope it gets sorted before the move.
ReplyDeleteI thought it's such a smart moving service to offer! I'm kinda leaning towards diet too, hopefully at the new place all this can get figured out.
DeleteI feel like it is cruel to talk about her to the doctor in front of her. I winced, but maybe she does not understand enough to know what the doctor was talking about or will even remember. I am not faulting you, but it seems like the doctor could turn her over to a nurse for a moment.
ReplyDeleteDid your mother try to participate in the doctor visit? Did she ask any questions then or afterward?
Can you still use the cameras?
That moving service sounds really great. I suppose they saw a need in the community and filled it.
I love a day when all the Amazon deliveries come in one day! So exciting. Amos approves! Good. That is so cute bringing his mouse down. Now, his place is complete. Now, you need to get your own rug.
Is there any way you can find out exactly what she is eating? Maybe hitting the chocolate cake and chocolate pudding or something like that is causing the diarrhea.
She did not try to participate. Dr asked her what brings her here today and she looked at me for the answer (as always). The dr tried to ask her the questions, but quickly realized that wasn't going to work. I hate talking like that in front of her at the dr office, but she didn't really even seem to know what I was saying and literally within seconds she would forget it was said anyway. I tried to use words that didn't come right out and say "we're moving her to memory care in 3 weeks" I said we're changing to "name of place" in a few weeks and dr knew what I was talking about. Mom did not know what that meant, of course, nor did she at all seem to wonder. She had no questions and really didn't even realize where she was from minute to minute. I had to keep reminding her. I think she has been taking lots of sweets from their snack bar area (she's put on weight). I really can't control what she eats there, since it's "independent living" but it will be something they will surely be monitoring while at the new place, so we'll just have to wait until she's under their care to get things stabilized as much as possible, diet wise. Dr said she could also have developed a lactose issue.
DeleteI don't normally comment but I want to say thank you for posting the photo of your rug! I've looked at this style/pattern/color in a bigger size for about 6-7 months now but couldn't make up my mind. Seeing it in your photos is helpful and I know the colors in 'real life' because my kitchen cupboards are similar. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, that moving service sounds awesome! Obviously they have seen the need for it. It is so hard to diagnose things in a person who can’t explain what’s going on. My late mil who lived with us always acted like she was practically blind but when tested at the eye Dr could see. It was so frustrating. Glad you got some things for your house, that’s always fun! Joyce in FL
ReplyDeleteit really is hard to even tell dr what all is going on, since mom can't tell her and I'm getting the info 2nd hand from people that only see her (on average) about 10 min in the morning and 5 min at night (except for the 2 shower mornings). I think we really just need to wait until she is under 24 hour care and they can know more what is going on on a daily basis with her.
DeleteThe movers sound very professional. I am sure everything will go smoothly and your mom will be happy and well taken care of. I agree with JiCaLu on her accidents being a result of her diet.
ReplyDeleteI think the movers will be so helpful. Hopefully in memory care mom's diet will be more watched as to what she is actually eating every day
DeleteYou're doing the best anyone could do in the circumstances. You're keeping her safe, well cared for, and care about the environment ( friendly neighbor). Yes, no one wants to be talked about but if she truly can't participate, the medical team needs you to act on her behalf.
ReplyDeleteFor sure, she can no longer participate in addressing her own medical needs so I really don't have a choice but to discuss it in front of her. None of us, in a normal cognitive state would like that, but she is no longer in that state of mind.
DeleteI'm dealing with same issue with my 90 yr old mom. Her "accidents" haven't caused a carpet scrubbing yet - but holding my breath. My SIL (an RN) says it's just her body getting older & not processing things as well as it used to.....basically it's just going to continue while she's alive. She did give birth to 8 kids - so I'm sure her muscles, etc. aren't what they used to be! ha ha! That's how I joke with mom about it, anyways! But being that she's still sharp mentally, it's really embarrassing/awful for her. She just can't get to the bathroom in time. Happens maybe 1 every week or 2. I keep thinking it's something she's eating that triggers it, but what do I know, not being in the medical field, I'm not there 24/7 & my 94 yr old father doesn't seem to want to keep a food diary for her. So it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteBut we can just do what we can do. We can't control everything. Just continue to show them love & care. Seeing them getting older is just so hard. Hang in there!
Well that makes sense that their bodies are just not processing things the same way anymore, plus add in the dementia. Yes, we can only do what we can do. I think the people trained at the memory care place will be able to take care of her and help her much better than what I could do on my own.
DeleteI hear a lot of relief in this post! Very soon you will be able to focus on enjoying the time you have left with your mom ~ minus all the stress! Your mom is fortunate to have you!
ReplyDeleteI don't know about fortunate having me, but she's very fortunate that she has the money to get good care for her remaining time.
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