My mom had a pretty rough day yesterday with confusion. It's one thing to just not remember and have almost no short term memory. It's a different animal to deal with when it's confusion. She called me around 4pm. I think someone from the staff might have suggested she call me to get her bearings, but she kind of seemed to think they were going to call me. She was also realizing she was very confused. She didn't really seem to know where she was. She asked if this was her place she's always lived or is she just here for awhile? I told her she in her own apartment and has lived there over 2 years. I told her she was in her apartment and that was her furniture and clothes. She said she had talked to some "ladies" downstairs and they were so nice to her and trying to help her understand where she was. Again, it's hard to decipher a lot of what she's talking about because it's just disjointed and incomplete sentences because she can't think of the words she wants to use. One part was she didn't know if she was staying here (at the apartment) or if she was going to have to come live with me because her brain isn't working. After we hung up, a few minutes later she left her apartment, I assume because dinner was on her mind (we talked about dinner being in an hour) and she didn't come back until 6pm, as usual. Not sure what she did for the hour until dinner started.
The caregiver came about 6:15pm to get her meds and mom was in her bedroom, as she walked in and was dispensing the meds. Mom told her someone had been in her apartment and took stuff. The caregiver (this is the newer gal) was so good with her in trying to assure her everything was ok. After she left mom called me again and was saying the same to me, that someone had been in her apartment. I asked her same as the caregiver did "what makes you think someone was in your apartment?" Mom told me "well, the door was unlocked when I came back". I said well, you've been forgetting your key sometimes and leaving the door unlocked, but no one was in there. Then she mentioned about them taking stuff, so I then asked if there was anything missing? She said "well, no....but I'm still looking". I again assured her all was ok. She then said she didn't know where her purse was and I told her she's hidden it so well that I haven't even found it lately! I told her don't worry about your purse, you don't need it for anything. Then she said she thought maybe she took it with her to dinner and left it. I reminded her she doesn't need her purse to go eat the meals and again, like last week, she thought she had to pay for the meals.
I haven't been able to pin her down this morning for a call to see how she's doing. She comes into her apartment to use the bathroom and leaves again. I have the motion set so I know when she's back and then I see her go back to her bathroom and then as soon as she's done she's headed back out the door before I get a chance to call. She's apparently not doing exercise class...as it starts at 11am and is in the area right outside her apartment door. She just came into her apt at 11:13, just long enough to use the bathroom and back out, so not sure why she's not joined in on exercise. I could hear it going on when she opened her door and it's on the activity schedule. And 15 minutes later she's back, to her bathroom, and then out the door again. Who knows what she's doing out in the common areas...my guess is she wanders, then back to her apt for a few minutes, then wanders the halls some more, repeat. At least she knows how to get to her apartment.
The forgetting part of her life isn't as bad as the confused part. When she's confused it's super hard to deal with and hard to know what to say to her. I just kind of went with how the caregiver was talking to her. That seemed good to just keep reassuring her.
Dh decided to order snow tires and wheels for the new car. Not studded tires, but just snow rated tires to use during the winter months. And wheels he doesn't care of they get all the sand and de-icer chemicals all over them all winter. He's just ordering them and they come all mounted and balanced and he'll just have to put them on himself, which will be no problem for him to do. He has the air compressor and tools to do it.
The cat just came up from outside and jumped up on my desk to sit in front of me. OMG, he totally smells like stinkbugs! What the heck did he do, roll in them?
So, speaking of caregivers...so there is the main lady (who then hires these extra ladies to help work there) and the 2 other caregivers. I want to do something for them as a little Christmas gift....but not sure what to do..some kind of giftcard? What do you think I should give each of them? How much? I'm terrible at this kind of stuff. Or just give them cash/check type bonus?