I talked to my mom 3 times yesterday before lunch. 3 times after. Or rather 2 times. The last call was 6:40pm and my phone rang. I started to pick it up to answer and it stopped ringing. Then several seconds later a voicemail from her that she thinks I might need to put a hold on where she has her money....in case "they" get more information? I called her right back. No answer. Called her landline, no answer. Hmm. what the heck? LOL. I could only come up with her cell ringer was off again and she was at her guy friends apartment, so didn't know her landline was ringing.
That afternoon I was looking at her cell call log and some number had called her like 5 or 6 times, every couple of minutes early yesterday afternoon and again after dinner. I don't know if she answered or not. Each call shows a minute and like every 2 minutes. Well, I just now realized it was HER calling that number, not an incoming call. I just called it to see what it was. Obviously some spam thing. It was a recording that was in English but could barely understand the accent. Something like thank you for calling, we'll connect you now to something I couldn't understand. I cannot see that the number ever called her first, so how in the world did she get this number and why did she keep calling every minute or two? I think she was probably trying to call me and somehow kept hitting send on this number in her phone. But not sure how that led to her thinking her money is in trouble. Maybe no relation to each other.
Every time she asks me what day/time I'm picking her up and says "ok, I'm writing it down". She must have half a dozen or more notes on her desk by now, LOL. She's apparently getting a bit delusional or hallucinating. She brought up her clock/calendar missing again. She said "I was sitting there and I guess my door was open and someone walked in and took the clock and walked out. It happened so fast I didn't see who it was!". I said boy, that's surprising since you always keep your door locked! I said when I come on Friday I'll look for it. "well, how will you do that? I don't know who took it and we can't search everyone's apartments!" haha. I said no, I'll just look through your apartment and see if it got misplaced and if we can't find it I'll order you a new one. I said so far, everything you though was lost or taken we have found in your apartment (except that cup to the medication dispenser! I'm guessing she threw away) Again I tried to describe the clock to her. She says "you mean this big white thing on my desk?". I'm like no...that's a telephone..(that you are talking to me with right now). Oh my. I have a feeling this isn't going to be a very good stay here, either. Probably will be worse than Thanksgiving. I do plan to spend a bit of time with her in her bedroom when she goes up to bed. Make sure she's comfortable and has all her worries answered, see if that helps. Her 3rd call was about this Olympus digital camera. She said she got back from lunch and this was in her pocket and she doesn't know where it came from, if she accidentally picked it up downstairs. I said no, this is an old digital camera you've have from years ago that was in one of your drawers and you must have come across it yesterday and was thinking it was your cell phone. I tried to get her to just put it right back in the drawer, but she just does what she always does and says she is or will. I've added this to my list of things to take care of Friday. Find this camera and get rid of it!
Dh's mechanic friend got here around 2:30 with dh's rebuilt transmission and got it put back on the truck. I think he left around 5 or 5:30, heading to his cabin. He's still working on finishing the cabin and had a stove with him to install and had brought a friend with him. DH needs to get all his fluids added back in today. Then cross fingers and hope everything works right again.
I have no idea where kitty slept last night. Usually he will come to bed when dh does and then annoy us and finally go to sleep. Or keep annoying us and I take him upstairs to his crate. Last night he pounced around a little then jumped down and left. I fell back asleep. Kitty showed back up one minute before my time to get up, LOL. At least he didn't come wake me up early :)
It snowed all day yesterday. I think dh plowed 2 times and shoveled the walk areas 3 times. This morning lots of traffic on our normally quiet road out in front of us. I guess there are 3 accidents out on the highway this morning and one is sadly fatal.
We had some visitors out front yesterday, then they ran off because dh's friend was pulling into our street right then. I don't know if I can load a video, but I'll try:
Well, I have tons to do for work today, so I can be done and on vacation. Payroll due today (for both main job and side job) and I have to file the monthly state tax return and just get everything finished up, bills paid before end of year, etc. I'm hoping it's a quiet day with my mom. I may just have to tell her sorry, I'm not going to be available much today, until I'm done working.
I would be super worried about that number she kept calling and how she was worried about her money. There are so MANY scams out there directed at the elderly and their money. Perhaps it's time to get complete power of attorney over all your mother's affairs. I can't imagine it would be difficult to prove she's not capable at this point to manage things on her own. It's a difficult thing to do but will end up protecting her in the long run. Major hugs!!
ReplyDelete--Melanie
Hi, thanks for commenting.I do have complete DPOA over money and medical. She doesn't even have her checkbook anymore. Just a credit card in her wallet. I look at her banking every day, (as I do mine). I also have her signed up with an annual subscription to Lifelock for any fraud or identity theft to protect her. I have frozen her credit. That's about all one can do, at this point, really. Her bank that has her credit card is also really good about alerting if they think something is a fraud charge (hasn't happened in a long time now, knock on wood).
DeleteReading this is sad. Your mom's imagination is taking over. It's very real on her end. She's living it. The lack of daylight only makes this worse. :(
ReplyDeleteoh you are probably right that the less daylight is having an effect. I am glad that her apartment living room and bedroom each is all window at the end of each room. But, of course she always keeps the white wood blinds shut, it seems.
DeleteOh your poor mama. I am so glad she has you. Hopefully she can enjoy the visit with you, and you have DD and DSIL for help/support as well. Love the video- I hope you continue to have lots of visits from them :)
ReplyDeleteI hope it goes better than Thanksgiving night. When she goes to bed I'm going up with her to make sure she knows where her purse is, that the clock is set, etc. I have a feeling maybe she dozed off that one night, woke up and was confused where she was, etc.
DeleteI am so glad your mom has you.
Deletejj- she's very sweet and tells me the same thing all the time :)
DeleteI hope you can get her into a "shepherd unit" soon...from our personal experience with Hubs' mother, it seems past time to make that move. Chances in living arrangements, daily routines are very hard from those with dementia to handle and adds to the strain on their cognitive issues. We found snuggly sweaters/blankets/a lovey/a stuffed animal were very comforting to Hubs' mom around this phase of the disease progression so think about gifting her something similar for Xmas. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteyes, the change in daily routine seems to be a big challenge now. I have a feeling that when the holidays get past she probably won't seem quite so out of it. We'll see. DD did get her a fleece blanket as one of her gifts.
DeleteMy grandmother railed at me for stealing a piece of fabric that I made into a skirt. I was devastated, being only 14. She reported people were coming into her store (always a black man) and she kept a long, long knife at the cash register. Sh seemed to be afraid of men and not women.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma got like that at the very end of her life (she lived to 95). She had a hospital stay for about a week and got really delusional there (I think it's called hospital delirium) and got better after she was back in her care home, but would still have some after that. She thought gang members were in her room at night.
DeleteLove the video.
ReplyDeleteYou've done all you can as far as protecting your mum against scams but it sounds like the next stage of dementia is coming down the line now. x
it really does sound like it is, sadly.
DeleteOh dear, your mom does sound like she's getting worse doesn't she. I'm so sorry. But I LOVE that video. Lucky you getting visitors like that!
ReplyDelete