I frequent a Facebook page group I am a member of, for decorating. I don't post myself very often, but have made like 3 posts over the past 6 months. My post showing the church pew I found at the antique store I see has over 1000 likes (I didn't even realize that). Mostly I just click like/love on others posts or comments and often will put in a comment, sometimes with a picture, if someone has asked to see what others have done. So far, in the time I have been on this group I haven't noticed anyone being rude.
So, yesterday a lady shows a picture of her master bath tub with a large window over it. She asked for suggestions on a window treatment, as it needs some privacy added. Lots of suggestions (including what I suggested). I said I used cafe style curtains and showed a picture of mine. Mind you, there were lots of comments, so easy for mine to get lost in it all. A couple people clicked like on my comment and another commented below it that she loved my tub area. I replied thank you! Then a lady comes in and says "those curtains look ridiculous". Ok.........LOL. Someone else clicked the "wow" emoji face on her comment. I said nothing for a couple hours. What do you say to someone like that? DD and I were having a good laugh messaging each other with ideas to say, haha. I know what my dh would say "what a bitch-a-rooney-dooney" LOL
I have never ever made a negative comment to anyone's posts or anyone's comments in someone's post. If someone posts something that is not my style, I just scroll on to the next post. Everyone is going to have different tastes and style, even within the same type of decor style. Who in the world am I to make a negative comment on someone else's style?
So, I just ended up commenting back to her "well, hopefully they aren't as ridiculous as your attitude. Feel free to enjoy your style and I'll enjoy mine". I see this morning that someone else commented to her "Rude". I looked her up on the group to see if she's ever posted anything and once she posted a bunch of pics of her kitchen. The decor is my style but not overly cluttered in every spot and I'm sure I saw her post when she made it (kind of remember it) but of course I would never comment anything negative.
Yesterday later morning I'm at my desk working, with the window cracked a bit. I hear a dog whine and assume it neighbors down the street dog (our dog wasn't outside, nor does he whine). He always whines if he comes down here. I look out the window, but don't see him, so then I walk out to look out the windows from upstairs looking out at front yard and see our little neighbor boy walking around....in his pj's. LOL. I tell dh "hey, J is outside, I think looking for his dog". Dh goes out there and here is the conversation LOL (remember he is 5)
Dh - hey J, whatcha doing?
J - trying to find my dog.
Dh - you haven't gotten a hat from me in awhile (dh has been letting him pick a hat out of the box of his hat collection) so they go inside the shop.
J - we saw you got a new car. How do you get one of those?
Dh - well you have to order it
They go back outside to walk around the back to look for the dog.
J - I have a clue - holding up a tennis ball he's had in his hand
dh - where'd you find that?
J - on the ground out by the gate
dh - well, that's a good clue!
Then dh told him he bets the dog ran home through the lots while he was walking down the street to come look, so go home and see if he's back.
Kids are so funny.
OK! I just told dd I think I need to put a tracker on my mom, LOL. I set her medication dispenser to try for 7:30 this morning. Nope. Almost 8:30 and she hasn't taken it. What the heck time is she going downstairs?! Still haven't found the "sweet spot" time yet!
EDIT: MegB asked to see a picture of my cafe curtain above the tub. I wanted something that still let us see out the window (mountain cliff view), still let light in, as much as possible, but still give us the privacy we would need if someone was standing outside or even driving by way out in the road, LOL. I'm sure at some point down the road I'll change them to something else. Hence, the reason I just put a spring loaded type curtain rod and nothing permanent. We needed something there when we got moved in and at that point my budget was G.O.N.E. LOL. I had a tall fake grassy plant back in the left corner, but the cat kept knocking it down, so for now it's moved.
I agree, if I don't like something I just scroll on by. Sometimes I start tying a nasty response to rude people, then I just erase it. Not worth getting into a spitting match. I did like your response!
ReplyDeleteI'm usually like you, just try to ignore them, but lately (maybe it's just me getting old LOL) I'm tired of rude/bully type people and they need to get called out on it, if nothing else.
DeleteThe kid watches "Blue's Clues"! The woman certainly didn't give a helpful response. Your mother must be a busy woman.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought of, Blue's Clues - my dd watched it as a little one. I can't keep up with mom LOL.
DeleteTHAT comment you received was flat-out obnoxious. Even if I despised the curtains, I would have called out that member's rudeness if someone else hadn't already. I am on a number of local political groups, and I *always* call out inappropriate comments even if they come from those from my side of the issue. Typically it only takes the first person to clap back at rudeness for other to agree, starting a "re-set" of behavior in those groups. it's like being in an audience--if one person starts clapping, the rest will follow. Your response, was great. But what I don't understand is, this is a DECORATING group. The point is to see/get all sorts of ideas for inspiration, or, see what you don't like. No need, unless you were the one soliciting ideas, to point out what you don't like, and then, that's only to filter out responses. (Ie: not interested in barn decor.) Who has the time to do otherwise?
ReplyDeleteI agree - rudeness and disrespect should be called out now matter what type of opinion they have. And yes, it's a decorating group - it's all totally subjective and doesn't matter squat, in the grand scheme of it all, LOL.
DeleteI try never to be rude either although of course the written word can sometimes be misconstrued. I did get a very rude comment on FB during Brexit when we Brits living in the European Union were facing an uncertain future. I pointed out that a friend's brother and SIL had voted to leave the EU and then went on to tell everyone how they intended to move to Spain shortly. Knowing full well they wouldn't meet the new conditions as third party nationals to move to Spain (i.e. a greater income is required), I pointed out to them that Brexit works both ways. If "those damn foreigners" can't move to Britain so easily then "those damn Brits" can no longer move to Spain quite so easily (I put it much more politely of course - just wanted to point out the higher income requirement and health insurance, amongst other things) - and they were stunned because they hadn't thought of it that way. Anyway, someone on FB really laid into me for that and I was shocked. So I just answered her back politely and said that I believe there was a lot of misinformation going on in the UK re Brexit and left it that. Anyway the rest of the group tore her a new one (which made me laugh, to be honest) but I stayed out of it. My go-to response is always to write out a response - and then tone it down by about 90%. It just makes them look like jerks in the end. I also like the response "your attempt to portray me in a negative manner is noted" (taken from a list of standard "grey rock" responses during a conflictual divorce)!
ReplyDeleteIt has been more and more "acceptable" in some environments to be a faceless rude commenter and it sadly, somehow, makes them feel empowered. I see more and more of this and for a long time, it felt like it was just everything I read or saw. But lately, I've been seeing a lot more "fighting back" with people responding to the negative, instead of letting it ride. I also see where there are way more positives than negatives and I hope this is an indication that things are turning around and fewer negative comments will be spewed, much less ignored, and more positive things will be shared. I find there are many things in decor that are not my cup of tea (and I'm sure there are many that would hate my choices too) but, I will still find something that I like or it may be very well put together but just not my thing. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate their tastes - they're just not mine. And if you want cafe curtains over a large window in your bathroom, I say more power to you. It is either a high window or it is only something that would work for someone who lives in the country because unless you live in a loft, full window coverings are essential, if you get my drift. Ranee
ReplyDeleteI was a member of a different but similar group awhile back but lots of rudeness and it seemed like every other post started with "please be kind, but can you advise me on this or that in this room?". It gets old and hopefully more people will fight back, but also, in my opinion, it does no good to fight back with the same rudeness back. Some people just don't have manners or respectfulness, I guess.
DeleteHaving seen the curtain, I think it is very suitable for the location and does provide enough privacy and allows for the natural light and the view to still be enjoyed. I think it was a good choice. Ranee
Deleteyes, I knew I had to tone it down, LOL. The stupid part is I can "maybe" see getting a response like that if I had been the original poster asking what people though of my window treatment, but I was just someone sharing one idea to the Original person, because she asked for them. I didn't ask for anyone's opinion on my comment. I'm sure her rude comments mostly got lost in all the other 300+ comments, but a few people at least noticed it and told her she was rude.
ReplyDeletethis was in reply to Treaders - I missed hitting the reply below her comment
DeleteFYI, will you post the picture here of your cafe curtains? We have a bathroom that is going to need something, but I can't bear the thought of totally covering up the window/light, but I don't care for blinds.
ReplyDeletetoo bad there isn't a way to post a picture in blogger comments! I will add edit this post and add it up to the post.
DeleteThat was a rude response! I am glad you did say something because people hide behind a keyboard and pour their venom out. Why post a nasty comment if you truly dislike something?
ReplyDeleteI really don't understand making nasty comments, especially on something like this group where there is going to be so much different styles and ideas. I felt like replying "oh, how about you come take a tour through my house and point out all the ridiculous decor, so I can change it and make your approval!" LOL
DeleteIt is just a curtain! Ask,"What would you approve?"
DeleteSeeing this after you posted picture. Not only is she rude, no question, she's wrong. I think it's a smart and attractive solution. I know I'm opinionated about some thing's, but let people decorate, design, eat etc. without being a jerk.
ReplyDeletethanks :) there was zero reason for her to be rude, especially on this type of forum/group.
DeleteI think it's pretty! I did the same thing in my first urban apartment which had floor to almost ceiling windows--wanted privacy, but didn't want block out all the light, and it needed to be CHEAP. I got two sets of cafe curtains at Woolworth's. (Yeah, I'm dating myself.) I used tension rods as well, since I didn't want to pay for damage to the woodwork. That's pretty much what I was planning for the bathroom window I will need to cover, but DD suggested that instead of a white cafe curtain, I get matching, shower curtains, one for the tub, and one for the window, but cut it down and hem it. I'd have to put in the pocket for the rod too, though, as I dislike curtains which hang limp, and don't have that pleated bit of dress above the rod, so that room is probably getting cafe curtains fashioned out of an old, white, eyelet trimmed sheet.
ReplyDeletethank you! I certainly don't expect it to be everyone's cup of tea, but no reason for her to be rude like that, for goodness sake.
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