DH had a long phone chat with an old friend yesterday morning. Well, originally he was an employee of DH's years ago, but they have stayed friends and keep in touch every so often. He's got another old employee, who now lives in CA, who they get on the phone with each other about once a year and it ends up being a 4 hour long conversation, LOL.
I was on the phone with my boss yesterday morning. Something she said in passing, didn't register with me, until later in the afternoon. She commented that she took her Tylenol PM last night to help sleep. I messaged her after I remembered her saying that. I said not to butt in, but here's my 2 cents and I told her about my mom taking these for years (I really don't know how many years) on a regular basis and that it is really just benadryl and not good to take on a daily basis and has been linked to cause memory issues/dementia in older people. That her dr. said it's not good to be taking regularly and if she needs a sleep aid there are much safer options she can prescribe. My boss said she had no idea....and was glad I butted in. It sounds like she takes it every night! Said she can't sleep if she doesn't. Ugh. I said I will always wonder now if my mom taking that for so many years contributed to her memory problems.
The latest thing my mom can't remember is a flu shot coming up. Her apartment place is having CVS pharmacy come in on Sept 11 to give flu shots to those that want them. Nice and handy! They gave her a form to fill out, so I did that for her on Saturday, as well as they needed a copy of her insurance card. We took it downstairs on Saturday (after she had told me about this flu shot about every day we talked). Yesterday she brought it up again, can't remember how she's getting it. Then another conversation it sounded like she may have gotten another form. I told her to just make a note on that one that it's already taken care of and write on her calendar for that day "flu shot".
Then she calls me last night and asks if she told me where she hides her cash. Ummm.nooo. LOL. I said you told me where you put your purse (between her bed and nightstand) but I didn't know you hid cash. I didn't even think she had much cash on her right now! We hadn't gotten her any for awhile and actually her last $20 bill she ended up using to pay for her ID card and got a few dollars back in change. Then she says well, I thought I had a $20 bill, so I had to remind her about using it a couple weeks ago. I said, well, do you need cash for something right now? (I can't imagine what) Well, no...but I might. I said we'll get her some more next week when I pick her up on Friday 9/4 to come stay at my house. She said a couple times she needed some cash (she does have probably $10 in loose bills) and I again had to ask what exactly for? Are you going somewhere you need to use cash? (so far the apartment isn't doing group trips, still, due to Covid). If there was something truly important she needed it for, then I'll make a trip in to the city to get her some, otherwise she can just wait! She then said "well, I might need some to pay for the flu shot". I said it's being billed to your insurance and it's the week after you visit me, so you'll have some cash by then. I think she thought she must have hidden that $20 bill somewhere but couldn't remember now so thought maybe she had told me where she would hide it.
I can tell she's going to be one of those, as her memory gets worse, that thinks people are taking her things. She's already starting to show some of those signs. She'll tell me about not being able to find something and at first thinking someone must have come into her apartment and taken it, then realizes that didn't happen. Like she recently thought someone had taken some change from her dresser. I said, well, you probably used it to go play Bingo? oh right. She mentioned again last night about hiding her purse down in her hamper! I said no! please don't do that. If the housekeepers come to do your linens and towels from your hamper they might accidentally get it mixed in with that! When I am visiting she will often comment "I don't know, someone could come in and take stuff". I said no one is going around stealing stuff from these apartments and if they were it would be figured out real fast people were missing stuff. She is almost obsessive about making sure she hides her purse somewhere (while she's in the apartment! LOL) yet has no problem keeping her social security card in her wallet. Her purse is more apt to get lost or stolen when we are out and about, like when we were at the dr. office and she left it in the bathroom!
For almost a year now she's had it in her head "that girl took her jewelry". It was DD! When we visited her at her previous apartment she had quite a few things that needed to go to Goodwill, that got brought with her from her house she sold and she didn't need/no room. DD was going to take her to Goodwill (while I was working on all her logins and passwords, LOL) so my mom said she had other things to go through, like she had a bunch of jewelry she didn't want/need. She and DD went through it all. DD took a few pairs of earrings, I took one. My mom said she didn't need any of the rest, she only wore the 2 pair of earrings she has in her ears. Now, she thinks some girl took all her jewelry. Sad. Whenever she brings it up I say oh, no, that was DD but of course she won't remember that. Funny she remembers that costume jewelry stuff yet never brings up her diamond wedding ring!
The other day she got my dad and her BF confused. She was commenting that she is glad her health has been so good, so far. Then she said "I know if J's daughter hadn't moved him, he probably would have been ok". I said you mean "M's (bf) daughter?" oh, right yes. I had to remind her he was very sick at the end, when she moved him. I said he couldn't take care of himself by then and she and her brother had been taking care of him every day because he couldn't even get out of bed anymore. He needed 24 hour care". Oh, I guess you are right.
The side chair I ordered ended up not shipping and on back order. Dang.
Guess it's going to end up a 6 week wait, just like it would have been
through Wayfair.
Just a suggestion--can you get a notebook, not spiral, and write down this information she forgets over and over. You could tell her it was a memory book. You could note these things and skip lines and print, making it easy for her to read it. If this were around she could look at it and see things. It is worth a shot!
ReplyDeleteAs for thinking people take things, I understand. My father was dying but in his right mind and every night someone stole his Pentel that he used for crossword puzzles AND the batteries from his tv remote.
I rented a room to a nurse. I ended up having to pack his things and put on the front porch. He had a box that held over a gallon of trinkets, pins, medals, small things that I believe he stole from hospitalized patients, maybe ones who died or had demetia. I had other reasons to believe this alcoholic, liar stole all these pieces of memorabilia.
Sadly, none of these logical ideas seem to work for her. I had a notebook for her but she either buries it in papers or it gets put away in a drawer. If it is out, she forget that she has it to look at for notes. She still (from years of keeping track of things that way) will write herself notes on little slips of paper, but when she sees them on her desk days later she doesn't remember writing them or remember enough about what they are about, for the most part. She keeps saying she needs to make better notes and write the date the note was written, but she never remembers to do that.
DeleteI have taped a note in bold sharpie pen with the phone number of the front desk downstairs onto the corner of her computer monitor. She will still sit there and look around her papers for the ph#
DeleteTommy has paper all over. My stuff gets that way, too, but I keep a notebook about who i called and the result of the call. This is not for my memory but so I can tell CS exactly who told me what and when...lol. If I write something on a piece of paper, I then transfer it to the notebook. Maybe I am creating a good habit for when my memory fails...lol. I suppose you will just be repeating lots of stuff to her.
DeleteIt must be very difficult to be in your mom's shoes. I can imgine the feeling of confusion and frustration. Thankfully, you are in full control of everything for her. Moving her closer to you was the perfect decision, I think.
ReplyDeleteit's sad. She also seems to be more realizing she is forgetting a lot now, so it's hard to know what to reply when she says she's frustrated by not remembering.
DeleteIt must be really hard to see your mom going through this. I remember years ago a woman I knew who was in her 80s had dementia and she was always calling me telling me people were stealing her things and her money which in reality no one was stealing anything but she was convinved. My husband started to have insomnia about a month ago. We tried over the counter stuff but it didnt work so his doctor has him on a medication that does work thankfully. The over the counter stuff seems to be filled with all kinds of things you dont need as well.
ReplyDeleteit is really hard. It brings back memories of my grandpa, when he started getting Alzheimer's, though he progressed within a year or two and hers, at least the past 2 years doesn't seem as bad, at least so far. I'm glad your husband was able to find something that works and is better than the OTC stuff.
DeleteSadly my dad was convinced my brother-in-law was stealing from him when he had Alzheimer's. It's pretty sad that she refers to your daughter as "that girl" too - makes me wonder if she actually recognizes her. Getting old isn't for the faint-hearted is it!
ReplyDeleteThat's the funny part. She totally knows who DD is, her name, her husbands name, etc, but for some reason she does not remember that DD was the one who went through her jewelry with her that day and thinks is was some girl she doesn't know, who did it.
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