My uncle calls my mom about every other day. A typical call lasts 2-3 minutes, LOL. Oh, and he had his skin cancer removed and I think all is probably good with it (it was sent to pathology). Anyhow, I get a text from him last night that he had a long chat with my mom last night and she doesn't like the food there, she can't eat it, so maybe she needs to move. Huh?! Just a few days ago she was telling me that at one of her meals she got to eat in the dining room she had one of the ladies that work there tell the chef he/she is doing a great job. A few times she has mentioned she didn't really like a meal too well, but that also probably has to do with food tastes. I'm sure she's not going to like every meal they serve and right now, during Covid-19, they are getting meal choices. Prior to Covid-19, when they could all eat down in the dining room for each meal, they would get like 3 choices per meal.
So, I told him I'm visiting her today and will talk to her about it. I'm sure she will have no idea/remember she even said that to him. And as soon as I say to her "well, I can get you the information on the other 3 places again and the prices are about $1500/mo more and we can go tour them if you want" she will say "oh, no. I'm fine here". We'll see what she says. If she really wants to move, then it's ALL going to be done by hired movers. Plus, I'm sure all the places are having the same situation right now - having to serve most meals to their apartments, so not giving much choices of meals.
Well, off to shower and get ready so I can go see her. Wish me luck!
You can find out how long the "long chats" are from her phone log. I would bet money that he asks her things and she responds truthfully that sometimes she does not like a meal and he blows it up to she does not like the food.
ReplyDeleteWhat is his problem? Nothing else to do? Is he planning to step in and make waves like you are not helping her to be happy and healthy?
Some people!!!
I have looked at the phone logs off and on for months now (mostly I was trying to see how often SB was checking in on her) and most calls with uncle are just 2-3 minutes. I think she is very suggestible to his questions and he overreacts to her answers
DeleteSounds like maybe your mom might just be telling her brother what she "thinks" he wants to hear! I'm glad you don't set much store by it!
ReplyDeletemostly because a half hour later she doesn't even remember what she told him and will say something different.
Delete$1500 a month differnt can also buy a lot of supplemental take out if she really doesn't like something and may feel she is going without. What a lep-not liking some food to needing to move.
ReplyDeleteYes, that $1500 a month can be used for a lot of "extras" to make life more enjoyable and on the flip side she doesn't want to spend it, LOL
DeleteHow old is your uncle? Sometimes older people tend to overanalyze even simple comments and get all worked up about it. My mom was only 77 this June when she passed but, during the last two years or so, we had started recognizing this type of behavior and thinking with her. A personal observation of mine is also that older people like to complain about trivial things to each other. As a person whose native language is not English; I do not know if I am putting this in words in a correct manner but, I believe as people grow older, some of the mental/cognitive functions start to reverse and they start to act and think like young adults, then teenagers and even younger children. By that time, we are getting older too and we are not as patient as we were with kids and teens. My BIL's dad is past 82 and every day he comes up with something that either upsets my BIL or sets him off. Not easy. I no longer have these difficulties in my life but, I wish I had. Do fun things with your mom and collect good memories. They are so precious. Good thoughts to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteUncle is 3 yrs younger than her, at 76. I was kind of thinking same - she just complains to have something to talk to him about and I think he overreacts to a lot of what she might say, rather than try to nudge her in a better direction. And yes, I perfectly understood what you are saying! I don't think I've ever read anything of yours that even makes me think English isn't your native language. You probably write it better than me!
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