"I don't want a big fussy wedding. It ends up becoming all about the other people, the guests, the perfect flowers, etc. Just months of stress. I just want something very small with just family there to witness our vows, go on a great honeymoon and come back and have a small party/reception at some local rented hall, with family and close friends to celebrate our marriage".
Yahoooo!! Of course, she may change her mind down the road (she's not even engaged yet, haha) but I doubt it. When she makes up her mind about something that's pretty much it. Plus, she is not the type that likes to be in the spotlight or put on a big show, which a wedding seems to be to her. I said I'd rather give her money we could have put towards a big wedding, so they can go on a fantastic honeymoon that they would probably enjoy much more than a day of wedding festivities that are stressful and the day ends up being a big blur in your memory (at least it did for me).
I also said we should have our house built by then, and wouldn't a small outdoor ceremony at the edge of the property overlooking the river be pretty. She liked that idea, too. Or maybe they'll just go to a justice of the peace and take care of it that way. Her BF's parents are kind of overbearing about things, so I'm sure a small intimate ceremony would keep them from trying to take over planning a big wedding (ie, it becoming about them and what they want). I told her if I had it all to do over again, I would not have done the big wedding. I would have done something much smaller and much more personalized to us.
We, of course, will go along with whatever she decides, but I'm liking her plans so far :)
My mother use to tease me that when I got married all they would/could pay for was kool-aid and vanilla wafers with balloon for decoration in the backyard.
ReplyDeleteWell when I got married my parents had just had a messy divorce and that's about all I got. lolz
My oldest is now engaged and keeps bringing up money to us, like we need to give him money for a wedding. I guess nowadays anybody who will fork up the dough pays for the wedding/reception, not just the bride's family back in my day.
Your daughter sounds very sensible.
she is sensible, it's so nice :). Months back I had said to her "when you get engaged give me at least a year to save up for your wedding" and her reply was a surprised "you don't have to pay for my wedding! we'll pay for it ourselves". Umm...ya, kinda do... up to what we can afford LOL. I'd at least help out as much as I could.
DeleteSmall weddings are the best! I've often felt the amount of money spent on weddings is crazy, even if you have it to spend. When the time comes, tell your daughter to hold her ground...which it sounds like she will!
ReplyDeleteI remember about same time I got married one of my parent's friends daughter got married. They were pretty well off. My wedding cost like $3,000 (this was back in 1985) and their wedding cost over $50,000. They were divorced in less than a year!
DeleteHoly smoke! I had a friend spend $30K on her wedding only to get divorced two years later. I thought that was bad, but $50K+. Wow!
DeleteYou have one smart DD! I can never understand throwing a big party, spending crazy money only to give guests something to gossip about. But then, I have never been married. So, what do I know?
ReplyDeleteThe money people spend on weddings just blows my mind. I don't know what my boss spend this past summer on her daughter's wedding, but I know it was a lot. It sounds like my niece's is going to be the full blown thing too. DH doesn't even want to go to it (we'd have to travel).
DeleteWe told our daughter we would spring for a ladder.
ReplyDeleteas in, she can elope? LOL
DeleteI had over bearing in laws that thought everyone they knew, their cousins, all their friends should be invited. It was insane. We ended up comprising with a large but simple church wedding and reception with dinner, but no dance or booze, and both parents hosted "after" parties. Neither mom was that pleased at first, but it ended being beautiful, affordable, and people said it was special.
ReplyDeletethat's kind of what I remember too - making decisions about MY wedding based on what other people wanted. DD does not want that.
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