Ok, here's a question to bake your noodle: (and I'm not being serious, I'm not that petty)
So, my step dad adopted me when he married my mom, so legally I am his child, just as much as his biological children are. He's my father on my birth certificate. Obviously, I am also legally my mom's (only) child. (she did not adopt her step children)
If my step siblings are entitled to 50% of what their step mother has when she dies, because 50% of that belonged to Dad, then, as also one of his children, am I also entitled to my share of that 50%? Meaning instead of splitting that 50% between 4 children, shouldn't it be split between 5, since I am also his child?
And for my mom's 50% share that she is supposedly only entitled to, as her only child am I entitled to inherit her 50% in full, just as they are entitled to inherit his 50% in full? And could I contest that she is giving her brother 30% of my share?? I guess it only seems fair, if they can contest that they are legally entitled to all of dad's 50% share, why am I not legally entitled to all of my mom's 50% share.
But, again, for me, it all goes back to it's HER choice to who and how much she wants to leave anyone, or at least is certainly should be that way.
The medication dispenser system arrived last evening, so I'm off now to give it a go and see how it works. Keeping fingers crossed!
It is so convoluted!
ReplyDeleteit really is isn't it? I mean basically my mom has been choosing (these past 12 years)to leave them a small portion and choosing to leave her brother a large portion. And now apparently (according to investment guy) she's required to leave step kids equal portions of half of her money. Incredible.
DeleteShe’s not required to leave anybody anything. I thought you said he told you when you exclude steps it often ends up in court, which does happen sometimes. I think the biggest cause for concern stems from changes made as a person’s memory and cognitive skills deteriorates, especially if they can determine they were swayed by someone else. I don’t know any of specifics, but do know firsthand of two different step children that were excluded when stepmom died second. Both went to court to contest the will and both were awarded money. I do however believe there’s what is legal and what is the right thing to do. My mil is in a memory care facility. She will be out of money in like 4 years or something like that. Before he died my fil put their farm in a trust for the kids, so as to protect it. Well mom will likely need that money down the road so they’ve begun to legal process to break the trust so it can be sold for mom’s care. This is a big ordeal because it was an irrevocable trust. One of the siblings isn’t in favor of this, but the others are in agreement. It’s true dad specifically wanted to protect that family farm for his kids, but even more he would want my mil taken care of. Legally the kids would certainly be entitled to that farm, which is worth A LOT of money, but it’s not the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteNo, he told me more than likely they will take it to court and that a judge would side with them. As I said - this post was in jest......
Deleteyou really need to contact the attorney as your stepdad likely stipulated how the money needed to be divided, or the divorce agreement with his first wife may have.
ReplyDeleteThis money had ZERO to do with his first wife! He left that marriage w/nothing, She got everything they had (which wasn't alot, but a house, etc). This money is from my mom and step dad's 35 years together. There was nothing stipulated by him that any of it should go to his kids. When he was alive it was all their money and assets jointly, when he passed away, it was then all my mom's assets and money.
Deletethen I have no idea why the financial guy would say that? weird
DeleteI find is strange that for the past 12 years my step dad has been gone no lawyer who did her previous 2 will, so this investment guy (been same guy for many many years) hadn't said anything about who her beneficiaries should be.
DeleteI'd stop pondering, get legal advice. It may not be what you intended to start, but touching the distribution from when your mom was younger and pre memory issues (brother getting 30%), to something different now, is what might be stirring all the risk to the top. Yes, I think it does change things if you were legally adopted by your step dad because in the eyes of the law, you are just as much his child as the step siblings. Not being an attorney, who knows how this gets sorted should your step siblings and or uncle contest. And, no one may say a word-not even think about what they should have or shouldn't have received.
ReplyDeleteI will have legal advice on Tuesday. As I said, I was just joking.
DeleteHi OFOI: Going on what you have shared with your readers...A long time ago, a man married a woman with a daughter. He opened his heart, without reservation, and welcomed the daughter into his family. He adopted the girl and became her father. The man, his sons, the woman and her daughter became one family. Sadly, the man died. For many years, the woman has bravely carried on. To honor the spirit of her husband and that long ago family, the woman generously decreed that any goodness she has accumulated shall be shared equally by all the children of that long ago family.
ReplyDeleteDetails obscure the spirit of the story.
are you saying this was my family?? ha. No, we did not all become one family, LOL. His 2 oldest were already grown adults when they married (step dad was much older than my mom). And I'm not making the decision on what she wants to leave them, she always has. And for the first 9 years after he died (when she had zero memory issues) she was leaving them nothing (with no consulting with me about it). And why does everyone assume that there is this much money just because of my step dad?? She worked too.
DeleteHad lunch with a friend today. Her marriage is a lot like your mom’s. She and her husband came into marriage with two teens each (17, 18). Kids were out of the house within 2 years and all went away to college. He did make more than she did. 25 years later he has a terminal illness. They have done a will that leaves everything to the 4 kids after she dies. She says after he is gone she probably will never see them because they live in different states but she says she will not change her will to leave them out because he would want them to share in what he made. It might be a moot point because if she lives another 20 years there might be nothing left.
ReplyDeletethat's very true too, if she lives as long as her mom did to 95, they will be most likely very little left, not to mention these step children will be aged 75-85 by then. Obviously she and my step dad did not have that agreement, or she wouldn't have updated her will to leave me 100%. I had no pre knowledge she was doing this back then. She just said here, I updated my will and want you to also have a copy.
DeleteOh lordy, that really is one for the experts isn't it! Kinda, which came first, the chicken or the egg?
ReplyDeletethat's what I was thinking LOL.
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