Monday, May 17, 2021

Buds and blooms

My mom had a hard weekend with her memory it seems. Sunday morning she calls me about 9:45 and we chatted (the ususal) and she said did you try to call me this morning? I was in the shower and thought I missed your call and I said no, I hadn't tried to call today yet. She talked about maybe checking into going to her senior living place Sunday "sermon" that she thought was something they watched on tv, but she wasn't sure what time. I asked her if she looked on her schedule/calendar they give out as I'm sure it's listed there. And then she said, well, it probably is, but I don't know which room it's in. I told her each activity also has initials for which room, like DR is dining room, or she can just ask at the desk.

Then about an hour later dh and I decided to run into town to the auto parts store and grocery store. She tried to call on the way there. I let it go to voicemail as typically her Sunday calls (even if we already talked) are her wanting to figure out her banking (I'm guessing she used to do her paperwork/checkbook stuff on Sundays?) and I won't be able to help her until I'm back home and even if I answer and tell her that she won't remember. Then she calls 4 min later, as we are in the auto parts store. Again I just let it go to voicemail. I will be back home in like 20 minutes! We stop at the grocery store and I run in for a few things. As I'm paying my phone rings again. OMG! I answer it and say hi, can I call you back in about 15 minutes? I'm at the store. "oh sure, I'll wait for you to call me back". 5 minutes later she calls again. OMG.

I get home and call her right back and it goes to her voicemail twice. OMG! LOL. A minute later she calls me back and I'm like what's up? is something wrong? "No, everything's fine. I wasn't sure if you tried to call me or not". Well, we talked this morning for awhile.....ugh! If I can't answer my phone it would be so great if she could just leave a voicemail as to what she wanted to ask me, so when I call her back 5 or 10 min later I know what she called about, because she doesn't remember why she called me or even that she did, most time. She used to leave me a short voicemail if she called, but hasn't done that in quite awhile.

Super nice 80 degree weather the past few days and today will be. Friday it's supposed to snow, haha. I'm looking forward to next week, only working 3 days and then only working 4 days the next week. We took a nice little walk around the property last evening. Finally we are seeing a couple of tiny leaf buds on the 2 maple trees we put in the back yard last fall. The lilac bush, that we though dh killed last summer) has lots of green leaf shoots growing. Two other bushes that we planted at the back corner of the house (that the deer stripped of all the leaves) are doing great and apparently in spring have tiny pretty pink flowers. 

And early last summer I planted a dahlia, a peony, and some kind of lily our in our driveway island. They were looked good when I planted them, bloomed a bit and then all 3 of them seemed to die. I was bummed. They looked like dead twigs sticking out of the ground, but I didn't pull them out. Now at all 3 plants there is great new growth coming out of the ground, in between the dead branches. So, I cut off the dead parts now. Beats me, LOL. The iris bulbs Mrs Neighbor gave us last fall are all sprouting, so dh is happy. We have a few grassy type plants that did not make it. All the day lilies made it through the winter but only about half of the grassy type plants. Not sure why one made it and another in same area didn't. I need to replace about 3 or 4 of them. Add to my list when I go flower shopping next week.

I finally made an appointment next week so we can get my mom's will changed for the executor to be me and not my step brother. From what I read, it's best to have the executor in the same state as where the will will be probated. I looked up estate attorneys in the city and there's one in this little office neighborhood right behind where she lives. The 2 attorneys apparently operate mostly in another state, so we'll just be doing a phone meeting. I scheduled it for next Thursday, when I have the day off and will be in the city to get all my flowers and a visit to my mom, so we can get this taken care of. I already have her current will copied in pdf format, so I'm sure it will just be a matter of sending that copy. Them changing the executor and then we'll probably have to go to that office near her place to pick up/get notarized/witnessed.  I know I should have done this sooner, but with Covid and then suddenly it was winter and I don't like to make appointments in the city unless I have to in winter driving months. Plus, I'm a procrastinator, LOL. Plus, whenever I look at her will, it still pisses me off that her old boyfriend butted his nose into it all! I really really do not think mom's 77 year old brother needs to inherit 30% of her money! Honestly, I'd rather see that % go to my step siblings then him! It was their dad who basically earned/invested well for him and my mom. More than likely, by the time he inherits it, it will all end up going to the state because it will mess up the medicaid he will be on, when he can't live on his own anymore. Oh well. I know I could get her to change it, but that's because at this point anyone could probably get her to change it!

8 comments:

  1. If my plants/trees look bad I try to give them another season/year to straighten up. lol Sometimes it works or they're just dead.
    That will be a big relief to get your mom's will straightened out.

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    1. I'm really glad I decided to see if they'd do anything this spring. We also gave everything some Miracle Grow in the watering. It will be a huge relief to get that will adjustment out of the way.

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  2. Just wanted to jump in and say that if your mom's money is mostly in an IRA, then what matters is who are the beneficiaries of the IRA. The IRA money will go to the named beneficiaries, regardless of what the will says. The same thing is true for bank accounts that have beneficiaries (POD or TOD designation).

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    1. I also realized that this past year, looking over her things and researching. 99% is in her IRA, and she does have the beneficiaries set up the same way (also changed when she re did her will back in 2018). I think I also read that the IRA money can be distributed to the beneficiaries right away, not part of will probate, but I might be wrong on that.

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  3. that is correct. IRA funds do not go through probate

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    1. that's what I thought I read. Good reason to keep most of her money there and then very little to actually process through her will.

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  4. Oh dear, it does sound like your mom's memory is getting worse doesn't it so it's good to get her will sorted sooner rather than later. Good luck, it can't be easy!

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