The Move, Part 2

First off, thank you all for your kind comments on my first post that you were thinking of me this weekend. They were so nice to read.

As we pulled into the new place, there was no parking in back at the memory care entrance, so unfortunately we had to go into the main entrance and check in there, and then it's a very long walk back to the m/c part. As we pulled into the lot mom says "home sweet home". But when we walked inside of course she didn't really recognize it and said something to that effect. It was at this point I just decided to go with "your apartment is having some repairs done so they are going to put you in a different room" and she was totally like oh ok! 

Of course mom was tired and so slow. The lady was really nice and took us inside the m/c area and walked us to her room and I think (It's all kind of jumbled now) introduced us a med tech just as we were going into mom's room. She introduced herself but said it's shift change and she's just leaving and then she was gone. We checked out mom's room. They did a great job setting it up and decorating it with her items. It was really nice. Then what? There was no one to help us/tell us what to do/orient us. DD stayed with mom in the room and I went to try to find someone. Everyone was in this office (with windows) and appeared to be having a meeting. I stood back outside the office for a bit, but no one came out to help. Then one of the residents tried to go in and one of them told him "we're having a meeting" so I went back to mom's room. A bit later I tried going down to the "nurses station" again and a couple of them came out so I said "excuse me, we're just getting my mom moved in now and we're not really sure what we're supposed to do now". Both dd and I were a little miffed. We really felt that someone should have been involved with welcoming her and basically taking over to help her, take her around or whatever. One of the staff I stopped and asked sorta helped. Then she says "does she have dementia?" and  mom says "what? I have dementia?"  Well, no shit sherlock! Why else would she be here? The girl was training another person and that girl asked "do you know what stage she is?" I replied not really, around a 6 but when they did their assessment she's at your "level 2" for care needed. Like shouldn't they all know that? They also did not have her name on her door, like everyone else, which I thought would really help her find her room, don't you think?

We ended up staying for almost 2 hours, just because we felt like we were just leaving her all by herself at that point. Then we wandered back down to the dining area and they were having "happy" hour at 2:30 so we sat down with her and had "drinks" (punch) so that was better. As we walked up to a table, there was a group at the table next to us and mom said hello and another lady said "are you new here?" Mom says No. LOL. We did the happy hour and then walked her back to her room and she sat in her recliner, so we decided to leave and hope she's rest some. The movers had plugged her landline in the phone jack and I checked and it had a dial tone, but I didn't try to call it our call out with it.

Saturday morning a little after 9 I called the nurses station to ask how she did her first night. She said she really didn't want them to help her last evening but then this morning she was fine and let them help and seemed in a good mood. We went to our friends place to pick up that china hutch cabinet, so we got to mom's place around 2, I think. She was just kind of out in the common area and had apparently just been wandering around. She was happy to see us. We sat down in the dining area to visit and I realized she didn't have her glasses on, so I went and found them on her nightstand. It would help if she could see good, LOL. She seemed good, though for our visit of about 30 minutes.

Then about 6:30 Saturday evening she called me, from a # I didn't recognize, but she said she was calling from the phone that has my name on it (her landline where I have the button marked with my name). I was so confused - but her telephone is another story for later. She told me she doesn't want to stay here any longer, she doesn't want to do all the stuff they want her to keep doing, so she's ready to go home. Oh boy....I was honestly expecting that from our visit earlier that afternoon. I just said well, it's night time now and I'm already back at home so you'll have to stay there tonight and she was ok with that, but then said "well, I have my car (still on the car thing) here somewhere". I tried to tell her she doesn't have a car, but that just confused her more, so I just agreed with her and told her again, well it's dark out, so you better stay put tonight. 

Yesterday we stopped in again to see her, before dropping dd off at the airport. We got there around 3:45 and most of the residents were sitting in the common sitting area, listening to a musician they had playing guitar and singing. Mom was there, too, so we just went on past and to her room to drop off the extra shoes I got her and see if we could figure out the telephone. Then we went back to the common area and the music had just finished up so we said hello to her and walked her back to her room and visited awhile. This time her concern was she didn't have her mom's phone number so she could call her and let her know where she was. So sad. Other than after Thanksgiving and her telling K that she spent Thanksgiving with her parents, this is the first she has really thought her mom/parents were still alive. We just went with it, as her reality. I told her I didn't have her ph# with me. She mentioned it a couple more times and then dd said, we'll call her for you when we get home, is there something you want us to tell her (just where she is and she'll be going home tomorrow).

All in all, it's gone as best as can be expected. Though I think it's going to be a couple of weeks before the staff is tuned into her. I wasn't paying attention to what she was wearing on Friday and too frazzled on Saturday to check her clothes hamper to see if clothes got put in there, but when I went in yesterday she had the same top on as the day before, and obviously Friday too, as there were  no tops. She did have a different pair of jeans on, but her previous days jeans were laying on her little sink countertop. That annoyed me too, of course that she was still wearing the same top 3 days in a row. I went to the nurses station and there was just one in the room in back of that office area (that has like a half window) but she was standing at a computer screen with her back to me and didn't see me standing there, so I tapped on the window. When she first turned around and was walking towards me she had a really annoyed look on her face. I told her who I was and that my mom would need help making sure her dirty clothes got put into her hamper and new ones picked for her each day, otherwise she'll just keep wearing the same thing. She said "oh ok, I'm make sure the aides put her clothes in the hamper when they get her nightgown on and then put on clean clothes the next day" I said, perfect, thank you very much. I'm sure it's just going to take time to get it all in a routine and figured out.

I'm back at work this morning, but have to make a few calls about mom today. Telephone, new doctor, and cancel her Hero med dispenser system.