Mom's now getting agitated and anxious, most of the day yesterday. They first called me about 10:20. I was going to call in and check on her, but was waiting to see if their maintenance guy was going to return the message I had just left, then they called and said mom was being pretty anxious and kept asking to call her mom, so they offered to call her daughter, so she could talk to me. Mom said nothing to me about wanting to talk to her mom - just that she's ready to be done staying at this place......ugh! I really don't know what to say! I guess it's really not going to matter what I say because it's not going to stick in her memory. She said something like "I can just leave here when I want, can't I?" I just said 'oh, we're going to have you stay there awhile, they will take care of all your meals and you can do activities there". She still wasn't buying it. Then she tried again and and said "so what happened that I need to stay here now?". So, I tried the honesty route. "well, your having problems with your memory and they are going to help you". Her reply was well I can take care of myself. I told her with her memory problems she's been forgetting to take care of herself and they will help her and it's a nice place, etc..
Then they called back again in the afternoon and put her on the phone and we went through the same thing again. I then asked mom to put the "girl" back on the phone when we got done talking and talked to a staff member. I said I was having trouble knowing what to tell her as to why she has to stay there, what are they saying to her? She said all's she's been saying to them is she wants/needs to call her mom, which of course they won't tell her her mom isn't alive anymore and I said no, I'm not telling her that either. She's not telling them she doesn't want to stay there anymore. She apologized to keep calling me, but mom keeps tapping on their window and asking to call her mom. I said it's ok if they call me, I said maybe try telling her they already let her mom know she's there or telling her her mom is on vacation right now, we'll have to try calling her when she's back. I don't know. Nothing is really going to stick with her. I even tried the "your apartment rent at your old place went way up and this place is cheaper and nicer!". Then she wanted to know where her stuff is, so I had to try to explain to her her things are in her room they have set up there. She'd say "oh, I have a room here?" She asked oh, did I sleep here last night? yes you did. I didn't say you've slept there 4 nights now.
The maintenance guy never did call, but on the 2nd call I when I had mom hand the phone back to the staff person I mentioned to her about her landline and that I think it's just that the cable wire/cord needs to be plugged into the back of the modem I have her phone line plugged into. She said she would go see if she could hook it up. Awhile later I logged into mom's phone account but the modem was still showing as offline. Then I checked again at 4:30 when I was done with work and it was working! Now I don't know if that is good or bad, LOL. Once mom realizes it's working she'll probably constantly call me haha. Their dinner time is 4:30-6pm so I decided to wait and try calling around 6:30 to make sure it was calling in. I was dreading the call because I knew it would just be more of "I'm ready to get out of this place". The first time she said it, I just completely ignored her and started talking about something else, but as soon as I waited for her reply, it was back to wanting to leave. Then she told me she'll just get her brother to move her LOL. I said he's in Oregon, he lives to far away. She said well, I'll just pay him lots of money ;)
From now on I'm just going to keep with my original lie - her apartment/building is having major repairs and she has to stay in this room while they fix her apartment. It's just going to be like every other change I've implemented with her over the past few years....like taking her checkbook...lots of questions over and over for awhile about where it is and then finally she forgets.
I did get a text from K yesterday asking how she is doing, so that was nice. My one (step) cousin did finally reply to my message, but the other cousin never did.
I do have the monthly activity schedule for mom's new place to refer to. They do seem to keep them really busy. For example today's schedule: