Monday, February 27, 2023

Emails, chair, and memory

And it's Monday again. It started out, once the west coast time zone was a more appropriate time, haha, texting my side job boss that my email isn't working anymore for them. With the winding down of their old company/transition, I wasn't sure if I would still contact their IT company, but yes, I was to do that. They figured it out pretty quickly that for some reason the license attached to my email had expired and was not renewed. The IT got that fixed and I'm up and running again. Basically, it shut down late Thursday afternoon, so only really Friday possibility of getting emails that I couldn't see, but there's weren't any.

The accent chair I ordered for dh's den finally arrived today. I do like it. It's about an "average" on the comfortable scale. Not great, not bad. I wanted to see how the chair was, because I was thinking of ordering 2 for the bonus room. I'm still on the fence. I think I'd want something more comfortable sitting up there, which will get used much more than a chair in dh's den. I'll think about it awhile. Most likely Amos will like it and it will be covered in orange cat hair soon, LOL. I don't have a lot of color in my house, it's mostly neutrals, so this dark blue is a nice little addition of color. Then dh promptly took a fleece blanket he has and put it on the seat for the cat to lay on, LOL. It looks stupid now. Oh well, I tried to make it look nice, haha.

As always, I try to share the good and bad of my journey with my mom's dementia. The bad yesterday was mostly me :( I was not a good daughter. I went to the bathroom and left my phone on the chair arm. Came back to a missed call and voicemail from my mom (this was around 2:30pm). It was a 90 second voicemail where she was pretty confused. At first she did seem to realize she was leaving a message but then didn't know what time to tell me she had called. Then she thought it was early morning and mentioned this a couple of times, that she was probably calling too early. She did seem pretty confused and even said that she was, but she didn't seem upset or anxious. Towards the end of the voicemail it sounded like she thought I had called her. I was tired, about to take a nap, and so did not feel like talking on the phone, especially with a conversation I knew was going to just go in circles and repeating. I decided not to call her. I wasn't going to help her confusion any and 5 minutes later she wouldn't remember she talked to me anyway. Cue the guilt, but once in awhile I just can't deal with it and I guess yesterday was it. I was planning to call her this morning around 10:30 and see if she was in her room, but then I was waiting on the IT guy to call me back, so I wasn't able to try. Now it's her lunch hour, so I'll have to try in a half hour or so. 


  1. LOL looks like Amos has his new chair ready for the sniff test. As for your mom, I understand the guilt but honestly - you do the best you can. I got like that with my great aunt - it was super tough and some days I simply could summon the energy. It happens *hug*

  2. I know you feel guilty for not being responsive to her. But, will she suffer or even remember she called you? You do your best, but I am sure there are times you cannot face it. If I talk on the phone when I am ready for a nap, it wakes me. At least at this new place, they will be right on top of any real problem, not that her "problems" as she sees them will be ignored.
    I like the chair. At least you can remove the throw and cat hairs.

    1. thank you. Like you said, she is being watched now all the time, so they will be on top of any real problem with her. And she won't remember at all. I know if we were expecting company dh would take the "cat blanket" off the chair, LOL.

    2. Then, Amos could deposit hairs directly on the chair.

  3. Anne Brew

    The others have said it better than I can; you did nothing to beat yourself up over. She called and then she will have forgotten she did so; probably wiser anyway not to further confuse her by returning her call immediately.
    You’re doing a great job. x

  4. The chair looks nice and compliments the picture! No harm done in not returning your mom's call. No doubt the staff redirected her and she forgot all about what was troubling her.

  5. Some days it's harder to deal with your mom's situation, but she's not alone. I'm sure there was something that caught her attention after her call to you.
    I like Amos's new chair. That's a pretty blue & should look nice with orange:)