Monday, December 12, 2022

The missed day

I didn't end up posting yesterday. I didn't have much to say in the morning, so I just decided to wait and see what news the day brought. We went into the city yesterday to see mom and get groceries. I had put my pickup order in on Saturday for Sunday, anytime between 11am and 7pm. There was no snow predicted until like 5pm and we planned to be back before then. We left the house at 12:30 and of course right after we got on the road it started snowing, LOL. As soon as we got to my mom's it started snowing even more and was sticking. I only ended up staying about a half hour, but that was fine. As I've said before if she even remembers 15 minutes later I had been there, she certainly won't know how long I stayed.

I brought toilet paper with me this time. They supply it, but she's obviously going through a lot (typical of those with dementia, from what I read) and the last 2 times I was there, the first time she had a little bit left on one roll and no extras. When I got there the visit I cleaned her carpet, there was no toilet paper! I went downstairs and asked for more. Their rolls are small and cheap, of course. So, I brought 6 rolls of "the good stuff". Plus they are the large sized rolls, so a roll should last her much longer. We'll see if she has any left when I go next. At least I have a gauge now of how much she'll use.

I then found her tv remote in her nightstand. Then proceeded to try to find her keys...again. Sometime last week I noticed the bowl with the "PUT KEYS HERE" sign taped to it was no longer on her dining table. I found the bowl (and the one from before I couldn't find!) in one of her dresser drawers but no keys. Boy, those keys were illusive this time! Usually they are in the dresser somewhere. Finally, I found them up in a little clear plastic dessert cup (that their little desserts and snacks come in) up on a shelf with her drinking glasses.

While I was emptying my bag I always take to her place (to either bring or take stuff) with the toilet paper, in her bathroom, I decided to see what I could take with me. Under her sink she had a box with an old blood pressure monitor, some shaving cream and sun screen. I took those. Now all that is under her sink is some bars of soap and talcum powder. On her dining table was sitting on old radio. Who knows where she dug that out of, but if it even works, the one battery in it is all corroded. I'm throwing it away. And as usual, I also grabbed papers and any junk mail. 

One of the pieces of mail was from her doctors office (I use the same place, but I see a PA and mom sees an MD). Does this sound strange to you? It was a letter from the doctors office saying they have scheduled her annual medicare wellness exam for May 2nd at 10:40. Then, if she needs to discuss any chronic issues, they have scheduled a follow up for August 2nd at 11am...What in the world? First off, they have always called me early in the year to schedule it (every year they try to go a month or two earlier then the previous year) because I am on file as the one to contact, due to her dementia. So, since I am bringing her it needs to be when it's convenient to ME. But just to schedule an appointment without even consulting the person as to if that is a good time or not? Just weird to me. This is the same doctors office, that when I called about a month ahead of time to schedule my annual checkup (for late Sept/early Oct) they told me they can't get me in for 6 months. I'm kind of thinking I might be done with this office and try a different place. This all just seems bizarre. Plus, once mom gets moved to memory care, they offer on site physician visits, which seems much easier than taking her to an appointment, especially if it's just a wellness check. I'm sure I'll let their nursing staff take over in that respect.

Dh and I got the grocery order picked up about 2:20. I had ordered a whole frozen turkey to make for Christmas dinner. I wanted the 16-20lb size. They had several different brands, I went with the cheapest, since they were all expensive and none on sale. My substitute preference was same size, different brand. Well, they subbed a different brand but only a little over 14lb. I hope it's enough for the 5 of us, plus leftovers. I might go to our little town grocery store and see what they have. I'm know the 14lb is plenty for Christmas dinner, but we also like to have leftovers for 2-3 nights and some turkey sandwiches.

I think the plan for having my mom here for Christmas is to go pick her up later Christmas morning. Someone can stay behind, so I can have the turkey in the oven before leaving to go get her. Once she's here we can just exchange gifts with her (we will have done our exchange with DD and SIL on Christmas Eve and stocking stuffers in the morning) and dinner. Have her spend the night and hope it goes ok...and then take her home the next day. DD said they plan on being here from the 23rd to the 27th, so that gives us some time to spend just with them, rather than also having my mom here several days, too.

The drive home in the snow wasn't too bad. DH is really liking the new snow tires and says they help a lot. Of course by the time we got home, the snow then stopped. It looks like we got an additional dusting of an inch or so during the night, so I'm sure dh will shovel and plow it off a bit today. 

Well, it's payroll processing day, so I need to get started on that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a really quick and easy one like last time. I've realized most of it is waiting on my boss to answer questions about it, LOL. I already asked her all the questions last Friday, to get a jump on it. I'm trying to be even more prepared as I never know what may come up with mom nowadays. But, I have one employee I need some answers on as to his time for a business trip he took last week (he's hourly) so now I'm waiting on that answer before I can continue. I've realized that's what slows me down. I wait and wait, then finally get to move on to the next step and then there ends up being some "error" message in the system I can't figure out, so then I have to email/call our payroll advisor...and wait for her to get back to me. Then once I do get it done, I then have to wait for boss to review it...and wait and wait...and then remind her and then she says "oh sorry, I forgot!". LOL. That's why the last payroll went so quick...she was on vacation, LOL. (I told her that too. We laughed).


  1. You and your boss have a great relationship, I am so glad for that! I think your Christmas idea is perfect for your mom, and I am pretty sure a 14lb turkey can give lots of leftovers. We do ham every Christmas and have extra and we're a big family, but it typically is not the only meat of the day.

    1. I guess I'll find out how much leftovers we have ;)

  2. In a plastic dessert cup with the glasses? Oh dear! I wondered why so much tp use. I found a site and there are multiple ways people with dementia use up to four rolls a day. It leads to stopped up toilets, apparently. I copied this link so others might read it.

    1. I don't know why so much TP use, but that page I follow people are often asking how to get their loved one to stop using a roll a day.

  3. I understand the need for billing appropriately for what the visit is about. I have just never had appointments scheduled 6 months and 9 months in advance, via a letter, and without even consulting the me if that appointment time works for me. Not to mention, I'm lucky I even found the letter in my mom's mess of junk mail and papers she picks up from the lobby area.