It's been a busy morning already. First the lady from the carpet cleaning company called to ask if it would be ok if they came this afternoon instead, like around 3pm? Apparently a job they have this morning, the woman added a bunch of stuff to the work order she didn't originally request be done. She said she will have the technician call me about 15 or so minutes before, so I can have a heads up and try to make sure mom is in her apartment (I had told her she has dementia, so if by chance she's not there, ask the front desk or call me, LOL. They have to check in at the front desk anyway).
Then my boss emailed about a company "event" they are trying to plan for early January and she included all the remote people to ask if we are available to fly in for it. I haven't gotten any other details, but I guess I'll know soon enough. I did a quick search on available flights (cuz there is only one airline that flies between here and there) and not much liking my choices for times. I guess I'll wait and see what time the "event" starts to figure out when I'll fly over. My only options for getting there that morning are to get there at 6:30 (which would mean getting to the airport at like 5am. Ewww... too early LOL. or get there at 9:30am, which might be too late, by the time I can get to the office it would be 10am. I've done the first thing in the morning flight before and no thanks. I have no desire to get up at 3 am to leave for the airport at 4am. I'll probably fly in the day before and just stay in a nearby hotel. Again, not liking my 2 available choices, LOL. Get in at 11:45am or 7:30pm. I don't want to arrive in the evening and be trying to get around in the dark, so I guess if I go the day prior, I'll get there at 11:45 and hope by the time I get to the hotel, I can check in, or it will be close to check in time. Then I'll most likely do my "usual", have DD pick me up when she is off work Friday and stay at her place for the weekend and go home Sunday afternoon.
I was about to email the guy at the memory care place to make sure he got the deposit check I sent, but then I decided to check her bank account and see the check cleared yesterday, so he got it. Now to hope it doesn't take too long. I think when it comes time to move her, I'm just going to tell her that she's going to a place for awhile to see if they can help with her memory....I'm not sure of all the logistics yet, but I'm hoping dd can come and help when the time comes. Take her out somewhere while I get her new room set up with her stuff. Or bring her here for one night, while I go in and get her stuff moved (planning on hiring mover to do it) and set up and then have dh or dd bring her in. I'm obviously not taking everything from her current apartment to the new studio sized place, so hopefully I'll still have some extra time before I have to have everything out of her apt. I can just have the stuff we are taking moved and then either take the rest to goodwill or arrange to have it picked up (preferably) to go to charity.
I like having all my ducks in a row. I don't like "winging" stuff at the last minute.
You have a good plan for moving your mom. I hope a room opens up soon. You're fortunate to have dd to help. I don't think your mom will realize that she has moved, not really.
ReplyDeletethat's pretty much what I'm hoping - that she won't even realize it much. She already thinks where she lives now is somewhere she is just staying for a few days. I may even tel her "hey we're going on a little trip (2 blocks!) and you're staying in this room for awhile". It's so hard to lie, I'm so terrible at it but it will be easier on her if I do, of course.
DeleteGood idea:)
DeleteAnne Brew
ReplyDeletePlease don’t worry that this is in any way what we understand as lying. It’s all about keeping her feeling safe and content now and you’ll want to say what feels right at the time.
I think (for me) it's just a natural instinct to feel like I'm doing something wrong by lying. Or maybe it's just that I want her to be able to understand the trurth, but she can't anymore :(
DeleteShe does not remember the many truths you tell her, so she probably won't remember the untruths you tell her to keep her calm and feeling safe. I don't think it matters at this point how "honest" you are with her. Having some familiar furniture will/might make her feel more like it is somewhere she wants to be.
ReplyDeleteThe sad part is I don't even think she seems to know any of her own things now. It's like that part of her brain has died, too.
DeleteTechnically, she is staying there to help with memory. The " for a while" is of course not quite the truth, but you have to manage her knowledge in the moment, so a good plan. Hopefully having her things will be comforting.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she even knows her own things anymore, for the most part. But hopefully there is still some part inside her that will feel comforted by having her things there.
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