Ugh Ugh Ugh

Of course I was not surprised yesterday morning when my mom called at 8am to tell me she just doesn't not feel well at all. Her forehead was sweaty and so hot. I said oh, ok. Just take it easy this morning. That's why I made your doctor appointment for the afternoon, as you'll feel better by then. "well, I don't know. This is worse" LOL. So, then I said well the appt is not until 1:45 and we have to have this rash taken care of, so even if you aren't feeling too well, we have to go in for the visit.  She was also supposed to go down to the dining room yesterday for meals, so I'm sure that has something to do with it, as well.

Then she calls me about an hour later (in the midst of all this I'm trying to get payroll processed as I'm only working half day) and she is "worse". She just doesn't think she can "travel" (not sure where she thinks she's "traveling to" haha). I said well, the dr office is only about a 6 minute drive and repeated again that we have to go to this appointment. We'll see how she feels when we are done to go to my house (though of course I was bringing her here anyway). "oh...ok, then".

Then around 11:30 she calls. Starting to sound better and does say she is glad to be going to the dr .to get this rash figured out, but she's not sure if I want her staying at her house if she's not feeling well. I tell her that I'm sure she's not contagious or running a fever (she's not), so she'll be fine.

The wound care center doctor said it does appear to be from a yeast infection and it was actually spreading a bit more from when I last looked at it. Lots of instructions for the next week that there would be no way for my mom to remember, so glad I decided to bring her home with me to take care of. They put a smaller bandage dressing over the worst part, to change every 2 days. The rest is applied antifungal cream twice a day, along with a dressing of basically a cotton strip (she also said we could use old t-shirt cut into strips) to change 3x a day. I could kind of tell that the dr and the nurse were thinking (due to where the rash is and where it's spread) it's related to her underwear, as they asked if she'd changed detergents or anything like that.

I've now realized that her hygiene and self care has deteriorated quite a bit. I did not realize that her thinking on that has gotten this bad. She's always been a very clean and tidy person and her apartment is still always tidy, so I didn't realize her self care is longer getting the same care. I know she has always kind of been one to shower like every other day, but now she's not even doing that anymore.

She has done no laundry and now lived at her place almost 5 weeks! I'm not sure about her bedding and linens. She says no one from housekeeping has come to clean or do her linen laundry. I'm hoping she's just not remembering they have. I know from comments she has made off and on over past years or so she doesn't shower daily. I could also tell when I first visited her last November at her new place (right when her BF had his fall and found out he had cancer) she had not showered for several days (she was staying in his apartment) and easily could tell it from her hair. She will say she just uses a wash cloth in between days. I think at the time I just thought it was because he fell, she was staying in his apt. with him, trying to help him, is why. But, I'm seeing now this is apparently her "normal" now. The doctor asked her how many times a week she showers and she started to answer, but then said she hadn't this past week because she was supposed to leave that bandage on from the prev. doctor visit last week. So, I'm not sure what her answer would have been...but dr. told her for the health of her skin, she needs to be showering at least 3x a week. Honestly, I'm guessing she is doing it one or maybe 2x a week.....

When I kept asking her the past couple of weeks if she went and did her laundry, she said well, I have quite a few pairs of underwear and when I was quarantined I just washed them in the sink. I'm guessing unclean and re-worn underwear are probably the reason for the rash.  She brought her laundry with her to do at my house (as soon as she knew a week ago she was coming, she decided wait and bring it). I honestly hope that is not all she has worn the past month!! I'm really hoping that she did not bring all her laundry (she doesn't remember now, of course) because if she didn't we have a problem.

She also only brought the pair of pants she was wearing yesterday and only one pair of jeans that were in the laundry basket. I asked her if that is the only pants she's worn in the past month?? She thinks so and didn't seem to think that was a problem. I said well, if you are only wearing a couple pairs of pants they need to be washed every week, so then she said "well, I guess I'll need to get more pants then. (pretty sure she has several pairs!)

And it's certainly not like she doesn't have the time to do a load or two of laundry a week and take a shower at least every other day. I just emailed the mgr lady at her apartment. When I very first had talked to her she said she has a lady she uses to help her mom (who also lives there) and she's really seasonably priced, so I asked for her name (or anyone she'd like to refer me to) and number. I also asked what the schedule is for cleaning my mom's apartment and the linen laundry done as she is telling me no one has done that yet, but I'm she's just not remembering it was done. At least if she tells me it has been done, I'll feel better knowing that she's actually had some towels washed recently!

I had hoped to catch her when she first got up this morning, before she got dressed. Needed to change her dressing and wanted to make sure she's putting on clean underwear! She came out already dressed (in what she had on yesterday) and no thought to that dressing. I got her back in the bedroom to change the cotton strip and couldn't find the one that was supposed to be there from the night (it's not sticking to anything, just tucked in where her stomach folds over, which dr. told me should stay put there and her pants will keep it there, obviously not well!). Finally realized the one worn during the night was now down in her underwear (probably happened when she went to the bathroom and got dressed). Obviously she did not change her underwear either. UGH!! No wonder she has a yeast infection and that it won't heal.

I did up all her laundry (one load of tops and one load of whites) so now will make sure to keep track of her getting the dirty ones in her laundry basket and a clean pair on each day, while she is here with me. I commented to her yesterday that we need to get her undies washed in the machine. She says well, I did them in the sink. I said well, the washing machine uses hot water and will make sure they are clean. She says "well, I used hot water". I can see now that her thinking this is an ok way to take care of herself on a regular basis is not going to work.

Now, I need to figure out how to convince her she needs some help coming in, since she thinks she is doing fine with it all. And if I tell her what needs to be done (like showers every other day and weekly laundry) she will agree with me and say she'll do it, but then of course does not. Plus, of course she now can't remember if she's showered or not the previous day, so I think, until I can get someone to start checking in on her during the week, I'm going to have to just start telling her "today is the day you need to shower". But, then I won't really know if she did or not, either.