I'm feeling a bit defeated today. Mom just doesn't get it and can't remember what she needs to do to take care of this rash. I thought it would be easier, for this next week, since he put that bandage dressing on and just said to leave it on, and she wouldn't need to keep remembering to put the Lotrimin on 2x a day. I call her up later this morning and ask her how it's going/feeling and she says "oh it was itching a bit, so I put some of that cream on". You took off the bandage?! "yes". Did you put it back on? "No."
ARGH*#*T$&$. So, I went through it all again, how the dr wants her to just leave it on, it has medication on it. She's to leave it on until she sees the specialist next Thursday. So, I'm telling her to put the extra one on, he gave her and I get a work call beeping in, so I have to get off with her. An hour later I get to call her back. Did you get the new bandage put on? "No, I thought you said to leave it off?". Then she starts talking about having 2 extra bandages and I'm like what? He only gave you one extra. Apparently she has 2 similar type smaller bandages in her bathroom drawer left over from who knows when/what. Then she calls me back and says she's going to put it on, but it's really small and won't cover the area. I'm like are you sure you have the extra bandage he gave you and not what you apparently found in your drawer? it was really big - it should be exact same size as the one he put on yesterday. Where is the one you took off? (to compare to) Finally.....I think she found the extra one he gave her. She still thinks it's still too small, so I don't know.
She is definitely coming to stay with me after her appt next Thursday. That will be the only way to make sure whatever instructions they give her will be followed. If it turns out that this wound care is going to need to be something that goes on for a bit (and I'm guessing it might) this will be a good time to hire some nursing aid help to come in and then just keep it going to help her with her medications.
She also has yet to do laundry! She couldn't the first 2 weeks because she was in quarantine. I had offered to take some home to wash for her, but she figured she had plenty of clothes for 2 weeks (she does have a lot of clothes). Well, now she's been out of quarantine 2 weeks and still hasn't done a load of laundry. Last Sunday we bought the plastic laundry basket so she'd have something to carry her clothes and laundry soap in. She just apparently keeps putting it off. The laundry room is just down the hall a ways from her apartment, like 3 doors. So, she's lived there a month and hasn't done laundry yet. I guess I'm just going to have to keep asking her every day this next week and see if she goes and does it. I'm also not understanding their housekeeping schedule - I read that during this quarantine time it was every other week, but she says no one has cleaned her apartment yet. The first 2 weeks they couldn't and then if the 3rd week was the non cleaning week, then they should have cleaned it this week for sure.
She may not remember their doing the laundry. Even if she is with you, she might just get up before you and take the bandage off. At least you will be there to put on more meds and recover it. Maybe her memory is something about two meds used together instead of just a single med causing the problems. ??? Do you think she has washed clothes and forgotten about it?
ReplyDeleteIt's possible she forgot she has done laundry but I don't think she has done any. Like you said, if she's here at my house and takes of the dressing/bandage, at least I can put it right back on.
DeleteHi OFOI, your latest mom challenge reminded me of work! I was a Critical Care nurse for 30 years and before that worked in a nursing facility as an aide while I was in Nursing School. Sorry to tell you this, there is no fullproof way to prevent an able-bodied person from pulling off or messing with bandages. Even if you watch someone 24 hours a day, which is impossible, they will eventually get to that dressing; then you end up in a match of wills to try and stop or distract them. Ha! You are a great and caring daughter, all you can do is change your thinking. You do what you can, but it ain't gonna be perfect. Mom is gonna do what Mom is gonna do. Every time your mom needs to use the bathroom, she'll probably decide to pull off any dressing. Unless there is some type of spray-on wound cover that doesn't require a dressing/bandage the wound will just be slow to heal. Frustrating, I know. And heartbreaking to see a loved one failing due to a brain disorder, like dementia. A thorough medical/cognitive workup is a good idea, as you have planned. Celebrate the small victories. You are doing the best you can. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary. I chatted with my half sister who went through a bit similar with her mom at the end of her life. They are going to do what they want to do! I'll just have to keep on my toes with it all as much as possible. Thank you for commenting! At least if she is here those first 5 days after we visit the wound care specialist I will be able to "fix it" quickly, rather than have to drive 100 miles round trip each time to take care of it.
DeleteTake this as a been there done that suggestion. When you hire someone to help with your Mom's meds, also hire them to do a load of laundry a couple of times a week. It is hard to know when to step in and harder for your mom to accept she needs help. It is a frustrating road for both of you. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHi Anne. That's what I was thinking too, just have the help take on a couple of chores to help her out at the same time and then she'll probably accept it as "normal" pretty quickly.
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