Sad news. My mom's BF has cancer. She mentioned the last couple of times I talked to her he hadn't been doing too well. I guess yesterday he told his son he wants to use the Death with Dignity to end his life, so I guess his son was with him all day yesterday and they had a call into his doctor about it. He's 85. My mom seemed to think it could happen any day, but she didn't know. I don't really know much about how the process works so I looked it up and it sounds like it would take at least 15 days before it could be approved, by 2 doctors and that 2 requests had to be put in, 15 days apart. She said she understood and respected his wishes, but still very very hard, of course. DD and I are very glad we'll be there with her for a few days this weekend.
Then she made a comment about "well, I probably won't stay here then". I'm not sure what she wants to do now. We will talk with her about it in person. I'm not sure why/where she thinks she should move to. Another independent living/retirement place will basically be the same as she just moved to. Plus, she at least already knows some of the people there. I feel so bad for him and her. I had hoped she'd have some time to settle in and adjust to her new home/surroundings before having to deal with something like this.
She has posted something (which she rarely ever does) on Facebook to one of her old neighbors replied to. She said that no one has even moved into her old house yet. She's seen them there a few times, but they haven't moved in yet. Then why in the hell did they want to close so fast and only give my mom 10 days to get out of there? Kind of annoyed me, but who knows what the whole story is.
And of course we are not getting our grass sod today. Still snow on the ground from yesterday and it's 4 degrees right now. Another thing for DH to grumble about.
Our neighbor and his son did have a pretty successful hunting over the weekend. They got 2 antelope, 2 turkeys, and a deer. The family went home yesterday....at least they didn't leave their dogs this time, LOL. But, they used neighbor guys car (an older small suv type) to do the hunting with. He texted DH is was a mess of blood and guts. EWWW!! I don't know why they wouldn't have used his little pickup truck he has.
Along with the unexpected $100 gift card I received yesterday I also got another refund check in the mail from our insurance company on our construction insurance. $62. And an email this morning that one of the MTurk hits I did paid a $6 bonus. Those are always nice emails to get. Helps this week, since I won't be able to put in a full week towards it.
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's BF. Sigh, a tough time for him, his family and your mom.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if she is thinking of moving somewhere closer to you? But she must have so many thoughts going on right now, your visit could not have been timed any more perfectly.
maybe she is considering that, though a couple weeks ago she briefly mentioned it but said she didn't think her insurance would work in my state. I'm going to have to check into that more. I would think medicare would be her primary insurance and this other insurance (retirees insurance from when my dad worked) that she pays for, would be secondary. Maybe she could just get different secondary insurance. I'm not sure how that all works and need more info.
DeleteIt is so much to process at once, you will definitely have a little time to look into these important details at least. I wonder if she just might feel like the place won't be the same without him, so she won't want to stay? I would hope her insurance works in other states though.
DeleteI'm not sure. I mean she never had any problem staying in her home, after my dad passed. I checked into her insurance a little and it sounds like it's just good in a few states (Kaiser Permanente). I'll have to check more into it. Obviously not all the retirees from the company my dad was employed at for 40 years, stayed in the same state after they retired, so there must be some option for her.
DeleteI am sure your dad's co workers must have moved around, so there must be an option. I am glad you can go and see her this weekend and discuss everything.
DeleteIt's a large company, so you'd think! My stepsis retired from the same company a few years ago and she now lives in a state that doesn't show as having Kaiser either. I'll have to see what she knows. But, she's not old enough for medicare yet, and might be on something different by the time she retired, compared to our dad.
DeleteAhh, so many things to think of.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your mom's friend. And she's just moved to be closer to him! When my brother was dying in January I woke up to hear his partner sobbing in bed, so being a good Brit I made us both a cup of tea and she was saying how she never expected to find true happiness again at her age and now here it was being ripped from her. So sad! I'm glad you're going to be with her soon though.
ReplyDeleteyes, I'm sure it will help her to have us there for a few days.
DeleteThis is very sad indeed. I hope your mom will decide to stay where she is. I completely respect her boyfriends wishes.
ReplyDeleteSo sad.
I really hope she decides to stay there too. I haven't seen the place in person yet, but the website for it looks amazing. Brand new. Lots of amenities. I'll need to try to get out of her why she thinks somewhere else would be better.
DeleteSo sorry to hear about your mom's BF. This must be quite a shock and very upsetting to her. I'm glad you will be going to see her, soon. I'm sure that you being there will help her. Sorry, too, that the grass sod can't be done, today. It got cold really quickly, didn't it?
ReplyDeletethank you. yes, it seemed like we went from late summer to winter, just like that!
DeleteSo very sad to hear about your moms boyfriend. Maybe she would like to move closer to you so that as she gets older you are closer for support. My mom and dad lived in BC (my sister lives there) but when my dad realized that he wouldn't be driving much longer they decided to move back here, Alberta, as there was myself and my 3 brothers to help them when they needed it. It turned out that they ended up in a retirement center 5 minutes away from my oldest brother and he was over at there place for one thing or another at least 4 times a week. It definitely helped them to stay there for much longer than if none of us had been around.
ReplyDeleteI would love for her to move near me. I'll see what she's thinking more this weekend.
DeleteI"m very sorry to hear about your moms' BF diagnosis.. it's never easy no matter what the age.. I do hope your mom will stay where she is and find a 'new normal' she can settle into..
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping she'll adjust too. She's very social, so I wouldn't think she'd have much problem.
DeleteSo sorry for your mom's BF. It must be very hard on her. Glad that you and your DD will see her.
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteSending prayers for your mom's BF as well as your mom. I'll throw some in for you while I'm at it :-)
ReplyDeletethank you!
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