Two issues with friends going on right now:
I've mentioned a couple of times since summer, about a dear friend who is going through very rough time, after finding our her hubby of 30+ years was cheating on her. Oh my! I still feel so badly for her, but I am running out of advice or encouraging words for her. He has completely gone off the deep end. Since July-ish, when this came about, he has left his GF (24 years his junior and with 3 young kids with 3 different dads) and gone back to friend FOUR times! Friend is mostly still in the "but I love him and want to work this out with him" mode.....but she's slowly changing her tune about him, which is good, but she's still hanging on. She has at least seen a counselor a few times, which turns out he told her the exact same stuff I tried to advise her. MAKE HIM CHOOSE! (but, he might not chose me!). He knows he can just keep ping ponging back and forth every time it's not working out with GF, so why should he choose? And each time he leaves the GF (usually he'll go stay at his elderly mom's place) she makes up some story to get him back...she's pregnant (twice now), she got beat up by someone, or she's sick.
I'm really starting (and so is friend) to think he is on some kind of drugs. His personality has changed so much and he bounces back and forth between being sweet to my friend and being downright mean. So, now that she thinks he might be taking some kind of drugs, she's back to "but if he's sick....he needs me". Ahhhhhh.
He has pretty much let his business of 30 years fail. Who does that?! Like I said to her, people get divorced every single day. They still run their businesses or go work their job every day. Again, another clue it's drugs. Her DH keeps telling her he wants a divorce, but he won't go file for one. Her counselor convinced her in early December to go file the divorce paperwork herself. She's went to an attorney and filled it out, but hasn't filed yet....because she didn't want to do it during Christmas (and for a few days mid-December, he left GF and wanted to work it out again, but that only always lasts a week).
I'm starting to feel like a terrible friend when I get a Facebook message from her now, because I know it's just more of the same and I just don't know what to say anymore. But, I just keep trying to be there as much as I can and empathize with her, know matter which way she is leaning on any given day. And if I haven't heard from her in awhile, I try to message every so often and ask how's it's going.
DH's good buddy (of over 20 years) who lives in our area - He's been AWOL in the friendship status for months now, ever since we started our build. DH has tried to contact him a few times. He sent DH this kind of long rambling message the other day, so DH called him to talk. One of the things in his message was that he had lent DH his older suv for DH to use to take a car trailer back to a friend in another state (2 years ago) and "not many friends would do that for a friend". hmm....I thought we repaid the favor by buying him a brand new set of 4 tires for it, as soon as DH returned.....not to mention we surprised him with a heater unit for his garage, so he could have a heated garage....I guess DH should have been more specific on finding out what friend wanted in return for borrowing his vehicle. I guess we should have expected something in return several years ago when he flew over to where we lived (this was several years before we moved here) to visit his family for a week and we gave him one of our cars to use all week...and certainly didn't expect anything in return.
During the phone call he also made a comment to DH "well, that big house of yours could get pretty lonely with no friends". OMG. Pretty much I told DH his buddy can go back to his drinking alcohol every night life, for all I care. We're managing just fine.