My mom actually did worse with remembering to take her medications last week! I had high hopes this would be a good week because DD was there to make sure her pill box got filled for the week and she has the new digital calendar reminding her what day of the week it is. But, when I talked to her Sunday, to make sure she took her morning pills and then to get her to fill up for this week, she says "oh, well looks like I already filled part of it...There's Sun, Mon, and Tues.." Which of course means she forgot to take her pills for 3 days last week! ARGGGGHHH!!! It really just makes you wonder when she took them on Wednesday how she doesn't realize she missed 3 days when the days before are still in there. Plus, of course she's not feeling very well, in the mornings again. Not to mention, when I call and ask her, she's obviously often just telling me she took them, when she hasn't!
I think combining her 3 or 4 vitamins into one multivitamin pill will help with when she needs to fill up the box for the week. Then she will just have her 2 morning pills and one vitamin pill for the am slots. Her evening slot is her cholesterol pill. I'm also going to get the medication alarm reminder set up on the digital calendar, when I am there this weekend. DD and I have discussed getting her a smart phone, where there are also apps that will remind her it's time for her meds.....but we both agree her having to figure out a smart phone is a BAD idea. I'm also guessing she's the type that will just turn off the alarm/reminder and then tell herself "I'll take them in a few minutes" and then of course she forgets/doesn't. Moving to assisted living where they can do medication management for her is a must in the near future. I should probably, for now, see about hiring someone to come in, and at least get her pill box filled up each week. I can still call every morning and will just have to make sure she's taking them and make her get the pillbox in front of her while talking. We did talk again Sunday about NOT putting it in her kitchen cupboard - I stressed again, when it's in there she forgets about it. I told her she's just got to stop worrying that the pills are "in the light".
I was looking online at her cell phone account and call log. I was just curious how often SB was taking the time to call her (before we changed the POA). Since she moved she only has cell phone, no land line. He called her a couple days after she moved in. Then again 10 days later. Then the next call wasn't until 3 weeks later! (the morning of my last day on visit with her). Just proves he shouldn't have been the one in charge. You can be in charge of her, at the level she now needs attention and regular calls, and only call once every couple of weeks. Geez. (though I'm sure he was probably mostly calling her BF, rather than her)
I emailed 3 assisted living places near DD (there really aren't too
many) and only one actually replied and gave me pricing. One emailed but
wanted to do a tour, and never replied back to my second email asking
for pricing. A 3rd never replied. I emailed those 2 back again yesterday
and also found one more in her area, that I emailed. I'm also going to
email a couple more in my area, just to have a comparison to the one I
did get and give her as option. I then emailed "A Place for Mom" and they called me like instantly and then transferred me to an advisor for that area. But, apparently, since I had already contacted (or attempted) to contact these places on my own, they aren't able to really help me. She did throw out a couple prices for two of the places I hadn't heard back from yet, but she was talking so fast and jumping from place to place in her conversation. I then asked her to repeat the pricing but I'm still not sure if that is just the starting price (most of those places offer studio apartments as well as 1 and 2 bedroom) as I don't recall saying 1 bedroom, other than I told her where she was living now, in a one bedroom. One place was $3600 and she said that included assisted living, so that is what she is paying now, with no assisted living. The other was $3200/mo. The place that did email me back was $3150/mo plus medication assistance would add another couple hundred, she said.
I called her at 11:30 today. She said she wasn't feeling that great, so she cancelled on driving over to see her BF again. Then said "and he of course gets so upset with me". I said well, he's just going to have to understand you don't always feel well and shouldn't be out driving around. Tell him that DD and I will bring you over to see him on Saturday. I then asked if she took her Tuesday morning pills. She said no, not yet. That she hasn't really felt like doing anything yet this morning and went back to bed for awhile. I said well, if you are missing your doses that can and probably is contributing to you not feeling well. She said "oh, you are probably right, I'll take them as soon as I hang up with you". For some reason DD thinks trying the alarm to reminder her it's medication time will confuse her more. I said we'll try it out Fri eve, Sat and Sun and see how it goes. She has got to start taking her meds at a set time every day, otherwise she will just forget.
After I visit her this weekend, get her pill box filled up for next week and set up the alarm/reminders on the digital calendar, I'll see how she does next week. If that doesn't help the situation, then I am going to give a service like Visiting Angels a call and see about setting up service with them for medication management for her. We'll just have to use that until we can get her moved into assisted living place in the next couple of months.
My Mom had dementia and lived alone. What worked for us was to call Mom and have her take her medicine right then. We literally held on the phone while she swallowed them. We tried other things that just didn't work for us. It was a good time to get a short phone visit and quick check-in to start/end the day.
ReplyDeleteI think that's what I'm going to have to do, while I'm on the phone with her.
DeleteMom had a skin infection couple weeks back and took 3x more antibiotics than she should have in an 18H period and that was with using a pill reminder and phone calls, so my sister took them all home with her and stopped by everyday and left her just what she needed for the day, last week she took all BP medication in a week. Its so hard....especially as I am 1800 miles away. Another sister quit her job to help with the errands,compony,pill reminding,making sure she eats (that is a big one) she would tell us she ate but couldn't tell us what she ate.
ReplyDeleteoh no! that is scary. I'm glad she's at least living where they feed her 3 meals a day and she does get some company in the dining room, but she needs to start socializing more.
DeleteI hate to tell you this, but, it does sound like your mom needs something more than a phone call to remind her to take the pills. It's too bad that the place she is in now doesn't offer that service, but, perhaps you can hire someone to come in, daily, and administer the medications.
ReplyDeleteobviously the phone call isn't enough. I'll try the alarm reminder system next week. If that doesn't work, I will find a service, until she can get moved.
DeleteI wrote this once, but something happened to it--operator error? I am afraid of pills being in the light too. Even amber med bottles are supposed to be kept out of the light. For convenience I use a little makeup case. I put all in there and can take it to sit down. Maybe she needs something to put the med box into and leave on the counter.
ReplyDeleteI think the stress of her bf complaining and making her feel guilty is wearing on her. That type of action makes me weary, forgetful and just plain not feeling well. Is there anyway to curb him? Maybe you could tell him she is only coming once a week or with dd or something. He puts too much pressure on her.
I think you are a good daughter who does not stress her out.
one time, a few weeks ago, she mentioned she'd leave the pill box out and just set her notepad over the top of it, but I have a feeling she probably forgot that's what she was going to do. At this point, if leaving the pill box out on the counter (at the longest for a week for the last pill of the week)is what would help her remember to take them, to me that is safer than her forgetting to take them altogether. Thank you, I really do try to not stress her out and stay really calm when I'm talking to her. I think BF is stressing her out too, of course she is worrying about him and his health, but she does not need him to be getting mad at her for any reason.
DeleteGosh it must be a real stress for you being so far away. I'm just glad your daughter is nearer and can help her more often. Poor you (and poor mom)!
ReplyDeleteit is stressful, especially when I'm not sure if she's taking her meds or not! and then find out she missed some days. UGH! It will be much easier when she gets in assisted living. We might have to do it sooner than early spring....
DeleteHi there OFOI: I'm not an expert on Geriatrics but I am a working nurse and 65 years old! It does sound like your dear mom needs daily, in person, help with her meds. Maybe it's time to consult an MD or ARNP who specializes in Geriatrics, who could hopefully diagnose her memory issues. Depending upon the diagnosis there may be newer meds to help improve or slow memory loss. They may have some proven strategies, resources or even services that will help your mom. Definitely make sure none of her meds or combination of meds is contributing to her memory problems. If she is on a longer acting statin, she may be able to take it with her morning meds rather than at night, check with her pharmacist. And I wonder why your mom routinely doesn't feel well in the morning; but feels better later on? I think you'll have to go with your mom to this appointment so the practitioner gets the full picture and you can ask questions etc. Your mom is fortunate to have such a caring and involved daughter. I wish the best for her and you! (You can keep this private, if you like, I just wanted to offer some suggestions.)
ReplyDelete