We've never had so much rain in the time we have lived here. And the temps are so low compared to normal. I was thinking yesterday we haven't even been able to sit out on our front or back porch in the evenings. I am about to have my first lilac blooms. And you can even smell them a little bit now
I can't get logged into work this morning (an issue on company end) so have a bit of free time until they fix it. This fix is taking awhile, apparently.
I mentioned in yesterday's post that I did not get up in time to call mom so she could get up and get herself down for breakfast, like I had the past 8 mornings in a row. All those mornings that she got breakfast, I had thought to myself it's got to help some with her brain. Cognition, memory, just basic alertness through out the day. Mostly (from watching the camera off and on during the days) I just noticed she was in a more "alert" state. The rest, as far as her memory goes, kind of seemed the same, though. She still "lost" her keys again, stuff like that.
I continued to watch her off and on throughout the morning yesterday. She didn't even get up and out of bed until 9:30. She got dressed at 10 (it can take her like 15 to 20 minutes to get dressed). She did go down to lunch and after that I didn't really check in until just before dinner, which she went down. Then I set the camera back to "armed" so it will notify me when she gets back from dinner, so then I watch to see if she will take her pills on her own or I need to call. She returned from dinner at 6:20 and before her med dispenser could alert her at 6:30 she turned around and left again (she went to watch tv with her guy friend). She was back at 7:15. Again, she thought the med dispenser chiming was the phone ringing so she then calls me to ask if I just called. She seemed ok/normal. It wasn't too long after that that she went and changed into her nightgown.
Just before 8pm I happened to check in and she had a knock on her door. It was her neighbor lady across the hall. So, I listened in on the conversation. Neighbor said she just wanted to check in on her to make sure she was ok because mom had seemed very confused at dinner. Mom was kine of like "I was?". Lady said yes, you had your purse with you and seemed confused and then after dinner you were confused and asking some people how to get back to your apartment. Mom seemed to have no recollection of it and said oh...well, I think I'm starting to have that happen sometimes, unfortunately. I think the lady did say something like well maybe your daughter will have to check into living where there is more help and mom said yes, she probably would. This lady is one that will keep talking so the conversation just kind of kept on and on with pretty much saying same things. She did say maybe you should tell your daughter and give her a call tomorrow.
So, did missing breakfast cause this extra confusion yesterday? It wouldn't surprise me. The lady did tell mom she was going to knock on her door and check in on her in the morning to make sure she was doing ok. She didn't say before or after breakfast...(I was hoping she'd be specific and say I'll knock before breakfast so you can come down with me). Then breakfast got brought up and mom was like "now what time is that? what time do you go down?" and then mom was even more confused as to where it's even at. The lady was like it's in the dining room...downstairs on the main floor...The lady just goes on and on, saying something about tomorrow and mom says "oh I don't plan on doing much tomorrow....I just have some paperwork to do". What?! LOL.
Again, I overslept just a bit this morning (I guess I have to start setting my alarm. I hate alarms LOL). It was 7:18 (I try to call her by 7:15 so she has time to get ready), so I checked my phone and the live camera showed she was out of bed, but again, asleep in her recliner, so I quickly called and reminded her about breakfast and she did get ready and went down to eat. She still is missing her keys, but seems to forget every time she needs her keys that she has lost them and she starts looking for them. When she gets back I will call her to see if I can't get her to locate them again.
It is time to get this moving process started. I am going to see if the assisted living place I got the information on can give me a tour next Saturday morning and I can get the ball rolling on that. I have put in an email in to the marketing director to see about scheduling it. I also asked if there is a waiting list for apartments. I also have a feeling Anne B is right. After I get her moved in I'm going to see an even more decline.
Work connection is still down. Sounds like some internet area outage there. Today UPS is supposed to deliver that fresh dog food 2 week trial I ordered. Since UPS doesn't usually come until evening, I won't be able to start it until tomorrow. I'm sure pup will love it. He gets really excited for the chicken and rice I've been giving him. The nose bleed drops have also subsided. I haven't seen any now in the past couple of days, so that is great. Also, after he's done eating (morning and later afternoon) he will have this big sneezing fit (but no more blood) every time. But, this morning was the first he didn't have the sneezing fit after eating. Another good sign. Maybe this pill the vet prescribed is helping. At a minimum it's supposed to reduce the inflammation of it all. I also have not been able to give him that herbal pill that the ER vet gave me since Saturday, as I ran out. That is also supposed to help with the bleeding. I think that my order for that is supposed to come FedEx today so I can get him back on that daily, too. I am excited to try out the fresh food for him. Of course ads for it are now showing up in my Facebook feed for the food company. I sometimes click on the comments to see what people say. One lady commented that her 14 year old dog loves it. Now he runs and plays and before he wasn't. Another commented to her comment and said "same here". I'm hoping it gives him more energy, too.
The camera has been worth its weight in gold, it seems. Can you put the key on a lariat for her to wear all the time, even when in her apartment? I think you are probably correct about her not eating contributes greatly to her confusion.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure wearing the key would work, but worth a try. The keys she has is on one of those coiled things you can wear on your wrist, if you want. I have a feeling though, when she removes a necklace type one, she'd just hide that one too and then not remember where she put it
DeleteMy heart goes out to you because I know it is a tough decision. You are doing the best you can.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure this assisted living place is as good and nice as where she's currently living. I hate the thought of her having to spend that much, but I probably will fib and just say it's only costing a little more. If she thinks it's costing a bunch more she'll likely try to say she doesn't "need" to go there. Though I am providing the assistance to get her out of bed and get her to take her pills, I can't get her regular bathing/showers and some days my schedule just doesn't work with helping - like the morning next month I will be on a plane and can't call to get her up. It will also be nice that living there she would have staff checking on her throughout the day.
Deletehonestly, this is part of what she worked / your step dad worked so hard for, comfort in her golden years. Even if you tell her the true cost, she is not going to remember it. For you to take care of her, you'd literally have to be her 24/7 PSW and you don't want that either. *hugs*
DeleteI know this is what the money is for and will gladly use it. It's just hard to fib. It's not in my instincts, especially if I'm not prepared that I'm going to have to do it, haha.
DeleteI am glad the neighbor lady was aware that your mom needed a bit of help. Those cameras gave you a better picture of the situation. If the other facility lets you use them, I think you should keep using them. As for the cost, I wouldn't even tell her the other place is a little more expensive. Sending you positive thoughts and good luck wishes with your mom's move.
ReplyDeleteKnowing my mom she will ask what it costs (just out of old habit, as she always managed the money). I thought the camera would be good too, but would then need to add internet to her apartment and that would be the only thing it would be needed for is the cameras. I probably will put them in, if they allow it, at least for awhile to see how she's doing.
DeleteShe won’t have a clue or remember what you’ve said about the cost. You handle her money and I’m sure right now she couldn’t tell you what her current place is costing. She is so beyond needing increased care at this time. Hopefully they can get her moved easily and soon. Her hygiene, nutrition and medications are precarious. She has the money and won’t understand what the other place costs. At this point if her peers are worried about her it’s not good.
DeleteNo, she doesn't know what it costs anymore. But, "they" aren't moving her. I will be the one having to do it/arrange it all. First step is to find the place and hopefully the place next door will work and I can make a decision about it Saturday. From all I read on a dementia caregivers page I follow, getting many dementia patients to shower regularly is about impossible. (I know she likes to just wash up with a wash cloth, so at least there is that, in between). There are caregivers on there who hasn't been able to get their parent to shower or take a bath in months! They just refuse. As for her nutrition, other than the occasional now missed breakfast, she gets 3 nutritious meals served to her each day. After she missed breakfast on Sunday, later on the camera, before lunch, I saw her eating a banana. The dinning room has beverages and snacks available all day. Since I call her every evening to walk her through dispensing and taking the pills, she has not missed any doses. I'd say in the last 8 months or so we've had the Hero medication system she has maybe missed just a few times. Regardless of whether she remembers or understands, it's all still something I have to explain to her about moving and answer her questions I know she will have, even about how much it costs. Just trying to figure out what is best to tell her. I plan to keep the info to a minimum as much as I can.
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