The 2 minute story

Linda wanted to read dh's story. Enjoy (or not, LOL)

Explorer ST drive #2

*disclaimer - we're old and I'm old school.

Grocery day. It's roughly a 100 mile round trip so we plan it out and try to include other stops to alleviate associating with people in public. We live where we do for a reason. I want to cut all ties with civilization but still be on the internet.

 

Cruise Control - I'm trying to get in the habit of using it to alleviate any contact with LE and the court system. I've managed to get it turned on and set to 83 several times, but I have no idea what I do to accomplish it.

 

Wipers - started snowing on the way to the city and the wipers start going. NOBODY tells me when to turn the wipers on OR when to turn them off. Mostly the off part. That's my wifes job. Usually after they have left black marks and are squeaking away while I'm lost in thought.

 

Quick Stop - First stop was a quick pull up to grab a sprinkler head that I killed last Fall. Figured I would leave the car running so wife can enjoy her heated seat (first and only button we both know how to use every time.) Also the heated steering wheel is a nice feature so when I try to hold her hand she can't say don't touch me your hands are cold. Well done Ford engineers. Unfortunately I was twisting the wrong knob when I tried to put it in park and jump put. Managed to finally get it into park safely.

Concerning moment - driving to the next stop for furnace filters I noticed the transmission shifting differently and extremely touchy throttle pedal. Almost like it was in low range or something like my old 99 super duty with an extra lever on the floor does. Kept this to myself to alleviate wife saying YOU BROKE MY NEW CAR! Noticed a light on the dash cluster indicating a car with squiggly lines or something like that I hadn't noticed before. I'm a little concerned because I read all the ST hate too. GREAT, a lemon! Buyback here we come. 

 

Stop 2 - pull up and grab the wrong knob again. Catch myself, put it in park, leave the engine running for heated amenities sake. As I get out to walk in the office, I realize I may have contributed to the concerning moment. Get back in the car and yep, sure as heck, we're in deep snow and sand mode. I keep a straight face and tell wife WOW this car is amazing! Not only can it detect a snowflake hitting the windshield, it actually changed modes on us to keep us safe. Got the look. Still kept a straight face.

 

Groceries - Now I don't want to put down the ST, but her old little HHR had a perfect cargo area for groceries with the back seats folded down. Everything was flat and the cooler for refrigerated goods was always right where it was put in the car when we got to our destination. So I go to open up the drivers side passenger door where the cooler should be, and its not there. Visions of the on ramp 50 miles back went through my head as I tried to reach the cooler now residing near the rear hatch of the ST. Got the look again. Alas, a four to six weeks supply of groceries including mountain dew and tp fit nicely in the new cargo area, but clearly a new load plan will need to be devised. 

 

Stop 4 - you don't realize how much you don't need fast food until you live 50 miles from it. But we do make it our 4-6 week indulgence by grabbing a burger for the ride home. You also get a whole new view of the workers in the drive through window with an ST over that old HHR. No more contorting yourself through the drivers window to grab the food. Of course with the HHR you're not so worried about spillage while driving. I feel kind of uppity to have a towel spread out on my lap like a napkin while eating my burger.

 

On ramp - Now I'm not exaggerating when I say I tell the wife to lift her feet in the HHR when we're getting on the freeway with a full load of groceries so we have less rolling resistance. The line of cars behind us is looking for a way around while I've got the little bugger floored and making lots of noise to get up to speed. But with the ST, I'm sitting at the light making preparations. Sport Mode - check. Left lane - check. Cooler secure - check. The light turns green and I roll into the throttle and start feeling the turbos kick in. Glance in the rear view mirror as we near the top of the on ramp at double the speed of the old HHR and it looks like a bunch of old grandpas back there struggling to get up to speed. I'd like to tell you I felt sorry for them. But I didn't. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

 

Conclusion - got the ST slowed down and cruise control figured out somehow on the 23rd try for the drive home. Still not sure what I did but we loped along at 83 and finished out drive #2 with a chocolate frosty and only one spill on my shirt. There is a button on the end of the right side column lever that I am yearning to touch. It seems like it's kind of out of place but I'm thinking like ejector seat or something. We opted out of a moon roof so its probably for something else. I'll find out someday. Can't wait for drive #3. Might try to turn the radio on.