What's your opinion on this? Last year, after our annual extended family (step siblings and a cousin and their families, I all see about once a year) holiday get together, my mom kept asking if my kids sent thank you notes to the aunts and uncles (my step siblings). My son got a little annoyed about being told to send thank you notes and I tend to agree with him. He (and my daughter) both said thank you when they opened the gift and then said thank you again and a hug to each person, when it was time to leave the party. I really didn't feel it necessary for them to either send an email or handwritten note thanking them. Sure, it wouldn't hurt anything, but on the other hand their kids don't send me a thank you note for my gift to them and I don't expect them to, since I was there to get a thank you in person.
I have a feeling this is going to come up again this year with my mom (though I'm sure she isn't telling my step siblings to have their kids send me a thank you). I think if it does I will just tell her that I really don't think it's necessary since my kids thanked them twice already, in person.
I agree with you, when I give a gift I'm quite happy with a sincere "thank-you" in person. I do love thank-you notes, but I think they've kind of went by the wayside now in the age of computers.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a nice gesture to send them hand-written thank-you notes, but if it is something they don't want to do, then what's the use? I'd just explain to her that your children have already thanked them and they (and you!) don't think further thanking is necessary. I know I wouldnt just send a thank you card just because I am told (unless it is something that is expected like from an interview). Nice gesture, probably good intentions, but not necessary.
ReplyDeleteI HATE writing thank you notes. If you receive a gift with the giver present, I think a verbal thank you is enough. The only time I write thank you notes is if the person isn't physically there for me to thank. And I know that goes against etiquette but I don't care.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people think it's so important to cling to an outdated ritual just for ritual's sake. A verbal or email thank you is just as gracious as a card in the mail - I'm not paying 44 cents to do what could be done over the phone. Is that rude? Probably. But I feel very strongly about it. So don't give me anything if you're expecting a thank you card in return. :)
Thanks for everyone's comments - I'm glad I'm not totally in the wrong here! I don't know why my mom was so harping on it last year. I guess it's my and my kids choice on sending thank you notes and asking about it numerous times seemed almost as much poor etiquette :-) I think the kids finally ended up sending email thank you's last year, but both of them felt like it was overkill after they'd already thanked them twice in person. Only one of my step siblings has kids and I've never gotten a thank you note or email from them. Maybe one of the other's had mentioned to my mom they never got thank you's or something, I don't know. If it comes up again this year I will just ask her if they did, but I'm pretty sure it was just her idea.
ReplyDeletesaying thankyou when they get the gift is enough. thankyou notes are for more formal events like weddings. Mum is a bit behind the times I think although I'm sure her intentions are good.
ReplyDeleteLouise - that's what I was thinking too. If it's for like a wedding or bridal or baby shower a thank you note is proper.
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