FIL was doing a lot better yesterday. It sounds like he wasn't using his oxygen enough. They had him use it all night while he was sleeping. DH talked to him twice yesterday and last night they talked for probably a good 20 minutes. Apparently he goes back to SIL's today and then once his house closes (very soon) I'm not sure where he's going. I'm sure it must be hard to keep getting moved around. The sale of the house (knock on wood) sounds like it is going smoothly. FIL had been worried they might ask for concessions after the inspection. DH had told him not to worry about that at all. With 10 offers and them offering 43k over asking price, they'd have been dumb to ask for money back! And they didn't, so it's all moving forward on schedule.
For those that think I am being unfair to my SIL. I totally get that she has done so much for him (and MIL when she was alive). We (nor do his brothers) do not live in the same state as FIL. SIL lives in the same town as FIL. Bottom line is she's either just going to have to take on the responsibility or not - and have him live in a care home. And if she's going to take on the responsibility, then I think she needs to understand that her life is going to be different during these months she's caring for him. She's not going to have time for the extensive social life she had before. Sure, DH could go visit him for a few days, but living in a different state doesn't allow for DH to participate in any daily care solution. Of course, a daily (or sometimes 2x) phone call isn't the same as caring for him on a regular basis. I'm certainly not saying "Look at all dh does for him". DH and his brother basically do squat. But, also in the same vein, as she chose have him move in with her and take care of him, we would expect her to be there for him and not leaving him to figure out himself who to call to have pizza delivered because she is mad at him. And not to blame Dh and his brother (I'm leaving the older brother out of any of this as he is an alcoholic and his life revolves around that) because she is ticked off she is giving up all her events (her words). FIL has said to DH a couple of times, once the house is sold he's moving into a care home. I'm still assuming that's what he will do. I'm sure he will be happier overall and obviously so will SIL. Due to his health problems, we all know his time is limited and we all know all's he really wants is to go be with MIL. He tells DH that regularly. It seems to DH maybe he's just really been holding on these past 3 months, since she passed, to see getting his house sold. If, by some chance, he does want to come and live with us, once our house is done, we have no hesitation in doing that for him. We both are under no illusions that it would be easy.
Our hvac is getting installed today (all the duct work had been done quite awhile back). I think the plumbers are coming back today to install toilets. Friday the two sets of french doors that will go on DH's den (just off the entry way) and into the bonus room upstairs were delivered and painter lady stained them Saturday. I love those kind of doors inside and the stained wood is so pretty with the windows.
It's really warming up during the day (still 20 at night) but still a whole bunch of snow that needs to melt. And then of course it will be a muddy mess, haha. The river was still floating some ice chunks by the other day.
I haven't ordered from Walmart online in quite awhile, but DH needed some blue shop paper towels and that's usually where I get them at best price. But, I needed to order $35 to have the free shipping. Boy, it sure is hard now to just find "regular" stuff on line with them. You just can't order normal sizes/amounts that you would buy in the store. It has to be large packs. And a lot of the stuff I would buy in the store just aren't available for sale online anymore. It took me awhile to find $35 worth of stuff! I couldn't even buy a stick of deodorant he uses. And it seems a majority of the items they sell now aren't shipped/sold through Walmart. They are using lots of 3rd parties and you have to weed through them and all their (usually higher) prices. I used to really like Walmart online shopping. It was the same sizes and prices they sold in the store and was easy to shop online. Target and Amazon seem to be the best online shopping options these days.
My cooktop, ordered through Lowe's, was supposed to be delivered yesterday (thought that was kind of weird on a Sunday). It didn't show up and this morning I received an email that it's been rescheduled to Thursday. Not sure how it goes from Sunday to Thursday, LOL.
I am glad your FIL is doing better. I think, now you can see the light at the end of the tunnel with the building. The toilets, the kitchen appliances and HVAC! The place is becoming livable very soon. Are the bathrooms all done?
ReplyDeleteThe bathrooms are getting there. The master still needs the shower tiled, the tub and countertops, and sinks. The half bath still needs the pedestal sink. The upstairs full bath just needs countertops and sink. I still need to decide what I'm doing for mirrors in all of them...sigh...I think I'm going to do an oval mirror upstairs. It's a small area and angled because of the sloping ceiling.
DeleteI find Walmart's online experience bothersome also, and I only order things they don't carry in the store only specific online only items and as a store pickup to boot! Finally I quit and just go the Amazon route. Even if it is a buck or so more it is worth it for my sanity
ReplyDeleteI know! it's bothering my sanity to try and order from them too. All their 3rd party vendors for the same items they sell is super annoying.
DeleteIt's a nightmare when elderly parents are not well and only some of the siblings are nearby. I mentioned before that I am in France and my sister is in Denmark. Both of us are divorced and still working (at the time) with kids in school so there is no way we could do the physical load to help out. That being said, there were 2 brothers and one sister local to my parents so if everyone pulled their weight it would have helped. Unfortunately it did mainly fall on my sister but that was eased when mom went into a home (dad never lived with her). I could only help out financially and be sure to visit as often as I could but I still felt guilty. Sometimes there is no solution!
ReplyDeleteI agree, many times solutions are very hard to work through and some just aren't going to happen, like DH or his brother being there for the daily help. SIL has some help she could utilize (like FIL is eligible for quite a few hours a week of VA home help) but are not.
DeleteI don't feel you are being unfair to your SIL. I do, however, feel that your SIL is being unfair to your FIL. The constant moving around can't be good for him. Since he has enough money to afford assisted living (and also has a willingness to go!) that sounds like the logical choice for all involved.
ReplyDelete