We talked some more to Ds when he got back from his errand today. He really did seem to "get it" and seemed responsive to what we were saying. Even his sister was upset at him. He had listed her old cell phone on Craigslist to sell for her and when he got a buyer she had just told him to keep the money ($60) - told him he could use it for a couple of his racing pit passes and she wanted to help him out. So she wasn't too happy that he was going off for vacation for a week. Like I told him- Sis could have used that money to get her nails done or gone tanning (like Gf) but she gave it to him instead. I explained that in no way do I think his Gf needs to give him any money for anything, but she needs to realize he has no money right now to do the things she wants to do. And she doesn't even realize SHE doesn't have the money either - not if she just borrowed $15k for school.
We also talked to him about a few years down the road - when she ends up with $50k in student loans to pay off (if she gets her masters). Who is going to pay that off on a teacher's salary? He will, if they get married. Personally, I think the only real reason a teacher should get a masters is if they plan to go into administration, at a much higher salary. She has said she just wants to be a teacher, not an administrative position. So, I'm not sure I understand the point of spending all the money on a master's degree. It's her life and her decision, but like we explained to Ds...it will affect his future too, if they get married in a few years. I gave him the example of a friends daughter who has now taught for 2 years and just finished her masters. She had to take a loan for the masters and will have to start paying it off in a few months. She just moved out from living with her boyfriend and now needs to find her own place. On her teachers salary, without even a car payment, she cannot even afford to live in her own place, without a roommate, because of the amount of monthly loan she has to start paying.
He's been quite relaxed today and very helpful. We bought a window air conditioning unit to finally put in the biggest, hottest room of our house. $300 well spent that will benefit us for years. We don't get a lot of hot weather, but we do get quite a few days of 80 + temps and usually a week that at times gets near 100 and of course it's miserable. He did most of the installation of it. He got right on it when I told him we had to get his hours figured out for filing unemployment. Since he started working first of November he worked 850 hours, so he now has more than the 680 required and he should be able to get his claim back dated to the end of May, when he last worked. I told him to call first thing in the morning, before I leave for work, so we'll see if he gets up and gets it done.
I think this week off from Gf will be good for him. He can recharge a bit and get focused on his future. He says she is not pressuring him to spend money on her. I think she is and he doesn't even realize it. She may not be directly asking for these things and trips, but she's definitely letting him know she wants to go do and buy all these things. Of course he's going to feel like he should.