I've decided to skip attending the old friends wedding coming up on Saturday. Honestly, I've seen her once in the last 25 years and I know DH could care less about going. It's a 45 minute drive each way and DD will also be home this weekend. While at the store today to pick up mayonnaise (that I forgot when doing my weekly grocery shopping) I bought a nice card and a $50 gift card to Lowes that I will mail to them. Less than some would send, I guess, but we don't have a lot of money (yes, due to our own stupid mistakes and DH's health situation) so hopefully they will enjoy the gift card and have a long happy marriage. I am doing my best to have the money for this gift come out of my grocery budget. I should be close. I still have to grocery shop on Saturday and have $158 left in my $400 budget (bi-monthly). My groceries have been running in the $130 range each week, plus a couple of take out dinners. I should be right at about budget, including the gift, so at least it won't have to come out of my "extra" money: i.e. that which get used for unexpected expenses, or if I'm lucky, to savings.
Me, I'm just getting to be a hermit, I think! I just want peace and quiet and very few people around me lately. A factor of getting old? the stress of living in this drug infested neighborhood, rather than the peaceful quiet dead-end street on acreages its supposed to be? I just want to stay home, watch tv, take naps, knit, play with my dogs, water the flowers, and look at stuff on my computer or ipad mini.
DH and I are actually doing well being empty-nesters. Even though DD is a gem, DH is actually much more relaxed when she isn't home. I was worried that it would be awful with just me and him by ourselves, but it's been surprisingly ok. The only bad is our neighbor situation (which is stressing him out to no end). I think once DD was out of the house a stress just left him. He doesn't have to feel so "responsible" and like every decision he has to make he has to think of the kids first and do for them first (which we have always done). We never bought fun things for ourselves or took vacations for ourselves, etc. It's still hard to think of and do stuff for ourselves! We just never did it. It was always about the kids first, no matter what. She comes home for a visit and it's like he's back in "I gotta be a dad" mode. I can see him literally physically relax when she goes back to school.
We like it just us two. I remember when DS lived here and his girlfriend was here......all the time....for almost 4 years. I remember how relaxing it felt just to have the house ourselves again after he left and they broke up. Now DD's (very nice) boyfriend is here on occasion, when she is home, and it's that same feeling. Like I just can't relax in my own home. Is it just me or do other's experience that feeling? I know some people like having lots of others around. I like my house to myself, I guess.
Not an empty nester...far from it. But, yes, I get that feeling when kids have friends over. Yes, I would rather they play here where I know they are supervised, but I hate it. I love having the house to myself...love watching a movie, or reading , or whatnot in silence and solitude.
ReplyDeleteI was the same way when my kids were young, I'd rather they played here where I could supervise, but when they got to be teenagers I was less thrilled about having others over so often.
DeleteDH and I have been empty nesters for about 5 years now and absolutely love it. While they were growing up we always considered their needs and desires first, but always in the back of my mind I knew that someday I would not be married to a school district or having to be a driver or feel responsible for them. I never felt guilty anticipating this time in my life, because we are/were good parents.
ReplyDeleteThe kids come over frequently - we have dinner together at least once a month - and I am just now learning that I do not always have to host or always have to cook every single dish, etc. My son's GF wants to host family dinner next month, because it's both my birthday and mother's day month, and I am surprisingly fine with that. They are adults, and since I was never a helicopter parent when they were younger it's easy for me to be simply on the sidelines and participating in their lives as adults, not having to be "in control" or a strong consideration in their present and future plans.
I was thinking the other day that I can't wait for when DD has her own place/family and can host a holiday dinner, LOL. I am ready to pass over the torch :)
DeleteWe are basically empty-nesters - DD has been out of the house for 10 years and DS is still "technically" living at home (I think), but we rarely see him between school, work, & friends.
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely like you - I enjoy being home by myself working on projects and not having to wear "real" clothes - just grubbies I am comfortable in!!! Guess that must be an age thing, huh?
I hear ya - there are days I just don't want to care about my hair or makeup! Days I don't want to have to worry if someone will be here for dinner or not and I can just have a small meal for us not worry about it.
DeleteI think a card and gift card of $50.00 is generous for a wedding you won't be attending! :) I'd rather stay at home most times too... i'm a homebody.
ReplyDeleteWell, since I rsvp'd that we would attend, I definitely feel a gift should be sent...but apparently (from an earlier post about wedding gifts) the gift should be equal what they are spending per plate on their reception. I know they aren't having a fancy expensive reception, so I'm hoping the $50 covers 2 servings.
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