Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Letting go

DS was home for a visit for almost a week.  He got here around dinner time last Wednesday. In his typical laid back "it'll all just work out" mentality, he apparently didn't check that closely into what is all required to obtain a work visa. So, while he's been telling his dad and me that it's pretty much all taken care of .... he just needed to come back to the States to apply for it, it's not that simple. I sat down with him last Thursday to do the online application. There was a checklist 2 pages long and documents he needs that he didn't know he needed (like letters of reference from any employers from the past 2 years). Most of the stuff he could have already got lined up and taken care of before he even got home.  For some reason, he thought it would be instant (like when he applied for a tourist visa to go to Australia). Sounds like it could take up to a month to be approved. He got it all finished Friday morning and submitted, so now it's just wait.

It was nice having him home, but I can tell he's growing up and ready to get started with his new life - away from home and away from an overbearing father. DH has been waiting for his visit, to help with a bit of the extra labor intensive yard projects he can't do due to his health - and we got most all of it done Thursday and Friday. It seems like a lot, but really, it was only 2 hours out of Thursday and we didn't start until noon Friday, so only about 4 more hours into getting it all done. We have the topsoil and grass seed spread where our big deck used to be. The project Thursday and the first hour of Friday was for those darn thuja trees that are supposed to grow to be our privacy screen between us and junk yard neighbor...I'll make another post about those darn trees later.

We gave DS early birthday presents, since he most likely won't be here. I picked him up some bath towels and hand towels (I have enough extra wash cloths, that he can take a big stack of those with him) and a new Wahl hair clippers set, since he cuts his own hair and DH will want to keep the one we have.  We went to Cabela's to see about getting him some cold weather clothing as another gift. I ended up buying his a nice North Face 3 in 1 jacket and some "high-tech" long underwear. He bought himself a heavy, warm lined work type jacket, kind of like a Carhartt, but cheaper and not so stiff feeling, like Carhartts are. Then we stopped at the mall and got him 4 pairs of jeans and a couple of t-shirts.  I also made him a little care package - shampoo, dental floss. qtips, ibuprofen, and peanut butter and jelly.  He took his weight bench stuff with him too - finally that unused monstrosity will be out of my family room! Yahoo!  Grandma came over to see him and gave him some cash for his birthday, so he used that for the jacket he bought.

Even though he doesn't have his work visa yet, he still drove back up there on Tuesday, as planned. He can still be a US visitor, no problem, he just won't be able to work until he has his work permit/visa.

He left super early Tuesday morning and I went back to bed after he left and cried myself back to sleep. It seems so real and permanent now. Feels like I am missing a part of myself and I just feel kind of blue and sad. I pray it all goes like he hopes and dreams for this job and his new life. I have no idea when we will get to see him next (I think that is the hardest part) - hopefully he'll be making lots of money by then and can fly home for a Christmas visit.  I was ready for him to get out on his own, but had hoped it would be a few miles away from home - not almost a thousand miles! - or should I say 1600 kilometers, eh?


  1. My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine how you're feeling. He is still your son and you will always be his mama.

  2. Sigh..I feel you. My son is hoping to move out on his own(well with a roommate) into the bottom of my aunts duplex and my heart already hurts. Such is motherhood I guess

  3. My grandson went to college out of state on Sunday and treated my daughter so dismissively that it broke her heart. He is only four hours away, but it seems so far to her. It is on my blog today. Oh, Judy S just was there and commented.

    I am trying to figure out where you live.

    1. I would just die if my daughter treats me like that when she goes to college next year (she better not!) We live on on the West coast.

    2. Thanks, I have not read your blog enough to know.