It took the SSA about 2 hours to call me back yesterday morning, but the call did come through this time, after I turned my Verizon spam blocker off (and turned it back on after the call). The lady helping me kept saying "I'm looking it up" "I'm still looking, bear with me". Then she asked if I knew what the dollar amount I was expecting, so I told her. Wait some more. Finally she said I show that payment was returned in January (which would have been 2024, when they reversed the ACH payment when they did pay the payment that was due) and now paid in March. I said March of 2025? She said yes, but it doesn't show what day it was this month, but you should be seeing payment soon. If you don't get it by the end of this month call back. Ok.....I'm still pretty skeptical it got processed, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised here soon and it will finally show up in the checking account. It's not there this morning.
One of our friends texted dh yesterday morning and said "check your mailbox, I dropped something in it." Apparently he had been to town, because he dropped off 2 fresh maple bars from the town grocery store. Dh's favorite! I'm sure he likely meant one was for me, haha, but maple bars are about the only donut I don't like and dh was happy to eat both.
My internal alarm clock didn't wake me up until 7:25 this morning. Where's that annoying cat when you need him? ;) When I got up I found him in our bathroom. He likes to sit up in the window looking out and you can see his tail hanging below the bottom of the curtain, or when it's light enough out and I haven't turned the light on yet, you can see his outline behind the curtain.
DH did see the new owner of the lot DAN sold, that is farthest from us, there for a bit one day last week. We haven't heard any more on the plans of the owners from the lot right next to us. But, now would/should be the time to get started, if you want to take advantage of the building season around here as long as possible. Both lots need wells dug and septic systems put in. It's sounding like if the tariff's go through it will raise lumber prices, which could have a big impact on the cost of building a home right now. When dh was at our town lumber store last time, someone had ordered their house lumber package now, even though they aren't ready to start building yet. He said he was worried they weren't going to be able to afford it, if they wait to buy it later. Between that possibility and the high mortgage interest rates, I'm sure glad we got built when we did. And I'm glad a year after we got done building, I was able to take advantage of interest rates and refinance our mortgage down to 2.5%.
I feel so bad for my half sis. She's just really is in a shitty relationship (not married). He could really care less about her and her feelings. Anything she tries to bring up, he just tells her she's the one with the problem, not him. I try not to give my opinion, too often, as I have to realize that mostly it's just her wanting to vent and she likely isn't going to make a change, but it's hard. I did finally ask her yesterday "what do you get out of the relationship?" Her response was "I have a free place to live". She doesn't have to pay him rent or anything towards the (HIS) house/property, but she does cover all her own expenses: her car payment, insurance, cell phone, etc. I said, well it's sad that none of her reply includes her saying she gets a "partner" "companion", "friend" "emotional support" etc...which should also be in the equation for a healthy, happy life - not just a place to live. She said she knows and knows she needs to leave. She said she just dreams of having her own little place, just taking care of herself and her pets and her chickens. I asked her if the inheritance her step dad already gave her, last year, before he got sick, and what she will get now, would be enough to buy herself a small home (or even rent), along with her 2 part time jobs. It wouldn't be enough to buy, but would be enough for a very large down payment and she should be able to swing the payment. She's only 58, so she has some working years ahead of her still. She also works part time for her boyfriends business (doing his books and misc stuff) and she says he complains about paying her the $1500 a month all the time - says she should be doing it for free. So, if she leaves, she will lose that income (but still have 2 p/t jobs income).
The other issue I asked her about is, if he died next week, what would she have/where would she live? She'd be on her own, since he owns his property and the house. She said she has begged him for years to get a will and and least set up something for her to be protected and he won't do it. He's got lots of property, a couple of business's, lots of assets......and no will. I'm not sure how hold he is, around 60 years old. I'm sure she hit the nail on the head when she said he knows it would all just end up going to his 2 daughters (though it would be a mess with no will) and he'll be dead and not have to deal with it, so what does he care....I said I don't think being on her own can be any worse/more lonely than it is WITH him. With his business, he has to go out of town to work at times and she is so happy when he's gone. That should tell her right there, the relationship is not working. But, I'm going to try to keep my opinions on that to myself, going forward, and just be someone she can vent to, when she needs to, rather than try to offer suggestions/solutions.
Yes with friends and family we have to remember to be there for them to vent but let them figure things out for themselves. That is hard sometimes but necessary.
ReplyDeleteI'm mostly just trying to ask questions, but at the same time, get her to think about her answers, without telling her what I think she should do :)
DeleteThe “let me pose a question “ approach was always the technique that set me on a better path when I vented. Hope it all works out.
ReplyDeleteWe got the lumber for this place with his first round of tariffs. Aaaaargh. I had to make a lot of trade offs. For instance, I sacrificed a coveted exterior paint color for finished porch ceilings . (The color I wanted would have taken several coats adding several thousand dollars.) The doors were also expensive. Spoiler alert: A tariff is a tax on imported goods. That means those of us who receive the goods pay them.
The good thing about building in the tails end of the supply chain problem was that the lack of choice made it easy to choose. Plus, I guess nobody wanted my taste neutral floors, so the linoleum I chose for the baths was closeout!
I still regret not being able to get the woodstove I had my heart set on. Same model we have, but in a dark red. At several thousand dollars more for red, I decided the black suited me beautifully!
-Meg B.
I hope it works out and she gets some resolution in some way. It just hurts my heart to know she is so unhappy (and also to know she has the power to do something about it, but is afraid to). I think building a house probably ends up with a lot of sacrifices from the original plan. I know ours had a few, as well.
DeleteI hope your sister is squirreling away money in an account he knows nothing about. If she does not own furniture, maybe she can buy a piece or two that she can move out with her. Maybe is she sets a goal time to be out, she can get her head into moving out. She needs a plan.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he can spend more time out of town and give her a break. Does she have children?