I don't even know what to say to her. My poor friend is so heartbroken and doesn't even know what to do and right now is feeling like she doesn't even know if she can make it through this. What do you say to help someone? I'm a 1000 miles away. She does have an adult daughter nearby, who I'm sure will be there for her. I told her she is grieving right now and just has to take it one day at a time. And I told her to please keep seeing that counselor.
We have garage doors all in, except for the top panel, as they still need to come back today and finish putting in the tracks. The bathroom vanity got put in. We just told the builder and his main guy to just pick something out that will fit the deep sink. I can't find DH's picture of it right now (he's now got thousands of pictures on his computer) but it looks good. Just something from Home Depot.
We got two bids on the propane tank and propane heaters (one for main part of shop and a small one for the bathroom). There has only been one propane company for this area, but recently one of the long time employees of the company quit and started up his own company. Well, his bid is quite a bit higher than the other propane company, so we are going with the original company. Even his price per gallon for the 400 gallons to fill the tank was .36/gallon higher. That adds up. Plus, I felt more secure going with the first company. Who knows if this guy will be able to stay in business? They are coming out next Friday to install the heaters and set propane tank.
Today, they are backfilling all the holes and ditches, so hopefully it won't look like a bomb went off. The county inspection guy said the septic system looked awesome and was done very well. I think plumber is coming to install and hook up everything today. This morning my neighbor out there called me on her way to work. She said she's worried about my DH doing so much. I said I am worried too. It was sweet of her to call and be concerned.
Oh, that poor woman. You were right in that she should continue with counseling. Likely her soon-to-be ex did her a favor by leaving for good, especially considering what he has already put her through.
ReplyDeleteYour "shouse" is looking awesome! I absolutely love the colors!
I think she's better off, but she's not quite ready to hear that yet. I'm sure she will when she gets to the "mad" stage. He's blaming her. typical. I am loving the colors too. That was my scariest part is picking those out, just from little samples. The siding is a bit darker than I thought it would be, but I'm still liking it all together.
DeleteThat looks BEAUTIFUL!!! I love the colors too!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your friend - dd is going through so much with her bf passing away but I think this would be almost as hard because you are just so blown away. Typical, blame the victim....sure hope she continues with therapy!!!! Does she work or is that something she is going to have to take on now as well?
Thank you! My friend just started working last year and got a full time job recently. She went back to school and got her 2 year degree (after their dd grew up) and now is also working toward her Bachelors Degree. I'm so glad she has the job to help her get by.
DeleteYour friend needs to protect herself financially. Look at savings and checking balance. He may have drained everything. Secure all pictures at daughter's house and anything that is precious to her. Exes can be vindictive. She needs to make sure he helps pay for her education. And, get support for the time it takes to get the degree. Then, she can be sad. Does he have a degree? Does the mistress have education? He is angry because it has to be her fault. "I left because of you" blah blah blah.
ReplyDeleteThe siding may fade even if they say it won't. Your house looks a lot safer than it did with the explosions...lol. You need to tell the new gas guy he is just too expensive. That may help him adjust his prices so he can succeed.
Your shed looks like a home. Where is the people door that you will enter?
Friends hubby does not have a degree. He is self employed with a small blue collar business. Not sure about the mistress. I'm sure the siding will fade some over time, but it is supposed to last way longer than just regular paint. The people door is on the left side end, closest to house. The front of this shop with the 3 doors is probably pretty much exactly like our garage that will be attached to house will look.
Deleteforgot to answer your comment about the new gas company. We decided not to try to get his price changed. We need this done next week and honestly at this point do not have the time or the energy to even deal with it. He used to work for this other gas company for years - so he knows their prices and what he needed to be at to be competitive.
DeleteI love the style you have chosen for your shed! It looks like it will blend with the surroundings nicely. Very pretty!
ReplyDeleteThank you! We are really happy with the colors and style
DeleteYour shop looks gorgeous! I really do think you can transmit power and strength to your friend implicit and explicit. I.e. be positive and redirect her when she is sad and on pity pot. Suggest she give herself a few days and then get moving! I really like Linda's suggestions too...take care of herself financially and get mad, then she can take time to be sad later.
ReplyDeleteI haven't messaged her for a few days, since I was sick. I'll message her today and see how it's going.
DeleteTell your friend to check out Chumplady.com. I have been reading there for quite some time now and all of a sudden things started to make sense. If/when he tries to come back (most do, though not all) he will go through 3 channels - charm, sad sausage and rage. It is such an eye opener. And like the other commenter said, lock down the finances pretty sharp - yes they can be vindictive! Ask me how I know.
ReplyDeleteGood advice. I agree, I'm sure he'll be trying to come back when the girlfriend doesn't work out.
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