It was a pretty quiet Christmas with pretty much just the 3 of us. The Three Muskateers, as DH says. We open our presents on Christmas eve night and then our stocking stuffers on Christmas morning. Since we were going to my mom's for dinner on Christmas Day (another quiet event, with just her and my uncle) I made our turkey dinner on Christmas Eve. DD and I played some games, Scrabble and Cribbage, while we waited for the turkey to bake. DH has never been big on playing games, so he kept himself entertained on his computer and watching tv.
Dinner was yummy, if I do say so myself, and we enjoyed the meal and some laughs with each other. Early evening we opened our presents. Since it's just the 3 of us, we took turns opening our gifts. We were all very happy with everything we received - even the ugly sweater they got me (on purpose)! About a month ago DD and I were shopping in Kohl's and walked by this display of sweaters, all with "stuff" embroidered on them. I walked by and said "I can't believe people really want to wear those". Fast forward to last week and DH and DD shopping at Kohl's, with DD trying to help DH pick out stuff. He gets a few things and as they are walking to the checkout he sees those sweaters and stops at one and says "that is cute" and DD was like "NO, just no" and explained that I hated those. So then he said "well, I'm getting it for her". I guess he thought I would open it and say I hated it, but of course I was polite (LOL) and said, "oh....this is cute". Then they burst out laughing and I didn't know what the heck (I had forgotten about the ugly sweater conversation DD and I had had). We all had a good belly laugh over a $12 sweater - that was originally $50! Yikes!
A week or so ago DH and I bought a new coffee and end table as our big gift to each other. They are a beautiful dark wood, that matches our tv stand/cabinet. (We took the legs off the old oak tables and DD is keeping it all stored under her bed and will take them when she gets her own place) Then we got each other smaller gifts to open. I got him some new blades for his table saw, a car charger for his iphone and a new lightweight jacket. He got me a t-shirt, sweater, candles coasters and a soap pump and toothbrush holder to match our new bathroom decor.
DD is a great shopper and got me lots of nice things. A new set of canisters in red (just what I have been wanting! After 30 years I am tired of my old canister set), a beautiful gold with diamond accents necklace and earring set, pajamas, and a cute spoon holder and trivet for the kitchen. We got her a new suitcase, which she didn't have on her list but ended up being her favorite gift :-). From Etsy I got her a knit slouchy hat and an infinity scarf. Also earrings, slippers and a throw blanket.
Yesterday I made blueberry muffins for breakfast and then we opened our stockings (which are always overflowed with stuff that doesn't even fit in them!). Santa brought me a new set of pots and pans! Very nice replacement to my very old set of mismatched, worn out pots and pans. A Starbucks gift card, and more chocolate than I can eat in a year. I always put scratch off lottery tickets in their stockings. DD is usually pretty lucky with them, but out of all the tickets only one $2 winner this year. When I was going to hide the stocking stuffers in one of my hiding spots the other day, I found 2 stocking stuffers from last year that I forgot about!
Around noon I called our neighbor to tell him we were heading over to drop off his Christmas cookies we always give him and he said he was just about to call DH and see what he was doing (he knows our Christmas day is usually pretty low key) because he was going to bring over his 2 rifles that he put together himself, so they spent an hour or so looking at those and talking. He even brought us gifts! A gun magazine (clip?) for DH and nice little flashlights for DD and I. Then we went over to my mom's for dinner with her and my uncle. I think we were all doing our best this year, knowing our son wants nothing to do with us as his family, but sitting there and having my mom answer her cell phone and it's my son calling to wish her a Merry Christmas, but wants nothing to do with us, while she sits there in the same room as us chatting away with him like nothing in the world is wrong. Then she hangs up and is just happy happy happy while are sitting there about to cry. At that point I wanted nothing more than to just leave and go home, but we stayed polite, ate our dinner and went home. Sigh..........
On a good note, I honestly don't think we could have a more perfect daughter with a more perfect life. She now has a guy she has been on a few dates with since she got home on this break and seriously, he couldn't be more perfect for her. He is older (was a school friend of our son) at 24 years old (she is 19, going on 30), has a very good job with one of the largest companies in our area, and is also going back to school to finish his Bachelor's degree so he can get into management. He's sweet, friendly, very outgoing, kinda nerdy, but in a totally cute way. They went out to a late movie last night. I am so happy for her.
I have next week off work, too. Just plan to mostly relax, but also in the plans are to clean out DH's bedroom and box up all his stuff and just put into storage. I brought several boxes home from work last week. I'm going to use the room as my office. It will be hard to go through all his stuff (or mess, I should say) but I am excited to have a whole room to myself as an office. Furnishing and decorating it like I want will have to be slow process (I don't want to spend money on that right now) but no rush. There's a twin bed, dresser and night stand as well a a very big oak L-shaped desk (that was a hand me down from my parents years ago) that I will probably eventually sell all on Craigslist and get a new desk and a futon couch for the room. Hopefully, I can find a used desk I like from Craigslist. I will just have to keep watching and looking. That is how DH found his great cherrywood desk set for like $200.
Sorry your son is choosing to avoid you. My brother literally vanished in 1989. He was gone for 3 years. Holidays were extremely hard for my parents. We would hurry through meals because we knew at any minute my mom would start crying. In 1992 my brother reappeared(he was lost in drug addiction and the life that brings). I pray your son will realize the hurt he is causing you and comes back to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Even trying to look forward to a better day with him back in the picture is hard now. I don't see how we will ever be the same family again. Hopefully someday he'll realize that life is about responsibilities.
DeleteI'm so sorry that your son is doing this to your family. Also, your mother should be able to feel your pain and at least sympathize with you after the call. We have been going through something similar with our son so I can relate to your situation. It's so hurtful when those who should be encouraging and supporting us are doing the opposite. Hopefully your son (and mine too) will rejoin the family and make 2015 a great year!
ReplyDeleteRebekah
Rebekah - I am really hoping 2015 will be a better year. 2014 was terrible as far as personal relationships/emotions go. My worst year of my life. I agree, at a minimum my mom should have had the concern for our feelings to at least go take her call in her bedroom. She should be supporting and encouraging us and telling him he's wrong and needs to get it figured out. My only guess is he won't break it off with her because she is the money bank (and he still apparently owes her a large chunk of money) and she wants to feel needed and she wants to stay good with him to make sure she does get paid back! I don't know - that's just my guess. I have always been super close to my mom, so it feels even more hurtful that she isn't being supportive.
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