When will the "conditions" end?

OMG. This underwriting process is getting completely ridiculous. We were supposedly all set to go a couple of weeks go with the conditions met.  When our sale fell through August 25th, we had to rescind our offers on house and land and we were sent back our earnest monies deposited from both. We were also reimbursed $350 for the foundation inspection we paid out of pocket on our house, that buyer should have paid. Then 2 days later we got the current offer on our house, so we put our offers right back in, and I resent two new earnest monies checks.

First the underwriter wanted to see that I sent new checks that cleared. So, I sent copies of the checks front and back.  That wasn't good enough, so then they wanted to see my bank statement where it cleared. Well, it's only been about a week (now 2 weeks) so I don't have a bank statement yet. So, I printed a transaction of my checking ledger showing them.  Then I had to show where I got refunded and deposited them. . Then that wasn't good enough. They wanted "statements" from the escrow company(s). I'm like all I have is the part of the check stub where they put a little one or two line detail on what the check was for. Then they wanted to see same thing for the first earnest money checks! (that I had already sent the first time, mind you)
 
Well, that has just led to more and more "conditions". It's getting ridiculous. In beginning of August, when I had exhausted my attempts to obtain a loan for the land we want to buy, and would need about an additional $10k in cash (on top of our house proceeds) to close that deal (and have enough for down on house and moving expenses), we had decided to sell our race car engine. Obviously DS isn't racing anymore and we surely don't need to keep assets worth that much sitting in the garage. We thought that was a MUCH better plan than taking out a 401k loan, don't you think?! We got $15k for it and deposited the money. It's been sitting there ever since. We haven't touched it, other than I already paid the $1500 out of it to have a truck driver move the loaded 53ft trailer over there (storing at friends place).

So, then they need an explanation and all the documents for that! ok. it's just a motor, not like there is a bunch of paperwork or a title for it.  Then wanted proof that we owned it in the first place. Oh good grief. DH found the box he put his desk paperwork in and found the receipt/bill of sale from when we purchased the engine back in 2008.

So, this morning I email her all the remittance stubs (because she emailed me and asked for them) I got with the earnest money refunds and that I deposited all 3 checks on same day. Then she calls me and wants actual copies of the checks. oh good grief. I didn't make copies of the checks before I deposited them. After we talked a bit it became apparent that she didn't open the attachment I sent this morning with what she was asking for in the first place and that is supposedly all she really needs. I had 3 stubs, each saying refund of earnest money and they total what my deposit was - what more do you need?!

Then they wanted another bank transaction statement, going back from 7/27 to today. So, then I had to add explanation of what the $3000 back into my account last week from the fraud debit card charges. Then the next "condition" is what is the $1500 deposit on 7/29? I don't remember. Let me see. oh ya, it was the $1500 earnest money we got to keep from the FIRST sale that failed!

What's the $1000 deposit on 8/31? Umm...that's my monthly deposit of $1000 from my side job. You know, the one you already have all the info on?

By then I said "there's a $108 deposit last week too......my daughter reimburses me for her phone and car insurance...figured they were probably going to ask, so might as well give it to them now.

Then she calls me and tells me that at first the underwriter wanted all this other proof that our current loans on our current house will have been paid to zero AND a new credit report showing such before we can close! That could take a month before our credit report updates! If that was a condition, why in the world wouldn't that have been one from the very beginning of this process, when they had all my info and financial state. She apparently talked the underwriter out of that nonsense. She is having the title company over here send a copy of the wires the day we close on this house and the wires get sent to the banks. She is also having them wire the money to the title company for house we are buying, so the funds are there and ready to go when we can close.

I'm getting nervous again- it's like they are just looking for anything to find to back out now. What the heck?! I'm buying a house half the price of our current house. The total amount owed will be less than the current mortgage total I have been paying on. The monthly payment will be almost half what I've been paying and covered by the income from my SIDE job, for goodness sake. I have good credit, my job of 11 years, my side job of 7 years, letters from both saying I'm invaluable and will continue to be employed. We don't have other debt (no car payments) other than a bit of credit card debt (under $2000) I charged in all our house selling expenses and that will get paid off. I make $98k a year. This nitpicking is getting beyond annoying and after tomorrow, if it continues, will delay our closing.  Ya, we really want to sit there with a u-haul we can't unload, paying extra daily fees while you figure out if you are going to finally approve this or not!

GRRRRRR!