Friday, April 18, 2014

Gloomy days

I haven't looked forward to weekends much lately. With the destruction of our family relationship with our son, it's been like we are in mourning most days. Most days I'd rather be anywhere than home, which is saying a lot, since I am quite the homebody.  I had the opportunity to work from home yesterday, avoid the hour-ish drive each way (in terrible weather), save the $10 in gas, and I chose to go spend it at the office and had an almost 2 hour drive home, by the time I got through the awful traffic and stopped and picked up DH's Thursday burger and fries. DD and I find ourselves looking for errands to run in the evenings, just to get out of the house. Then when we are done and still don't want to go home yet, we stop and have pie somewhere, just to kill a little more time. 

Today I was off at noon for Good Friday.  Ordinarily, I'd be thrilled to shut off my home computer at noon and be done for the day. Now it just feels like an extra long weekend that Monday can't come soon enough.  I'll fill up the space this afternoon by getting the weekly grocery shopping done and vacuuming the house. DD was supposed to have tomorrow off, but she picked up a shift to serve so she'll be gone until early afternoon. I guess I'll use that time to run to Target and see what I can get her for Easter. She just wants a good chocolate Easter Bunny, but I think I'll try to find a cute little basket or bouquet of flowers, a Starbucks gift card and a chocolate bunny.

Other than that all I feel like I want to do anymore is sleep.  When I am stressed or down, sleep is my drug of choice. 90% chance of rain tomorrow, but Sunday sounds much better so at least I can get out and do a little weeding in the yard.  Last summer I planted two Lilac bushes and they grew wonderfully. I've never had them before and all through winter they have looked like they were dead...and until today I thought maybe they had died, but I see lots of new leaves on them now, so that sure made me happy. The 3 maple trees we planted last summer are starting to get leaves again. I also need to clean out the hummingbird feeder and put new sugar water in it. I haven't seen a bird drink out of it yet, but I keep watching. It should be time soon to put the BBQ grill outside again.

I'm just trying to find the small pleasures wherever I can these days. It's hard and most days I find myself driving to work in tears. Thank goodness for audio books and being able to download them from the library. And what a smart thing my ipad mini is! My borrowed time ran out on a book I was listening to and so it disappears from my "bookshelf". A few days later I downloaded it again, so I could finish listening (I'm on a Jack Reacher kick) and figured I'd have to fast forward to figure out where I left off. But ipad picked up right where I had left off! I love this little device - it has given me so many hours of joy (so much better than my Nook....which reminds me I still need to try and sell).

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter with their families.


  1. I'm with you.. the days have been soo gloomy and it's still cold.. :( I've been soo tired lately and can't seem to get a full nights rest! *sigh* Hope you have a happy Easter though!! :)

    1. Hopefully your new bed will take care of the good nights sleep :)

  2. Sleep is my drug of choice too. I think you need a hug.