Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Let me spend your money

DD and her BF no sooner get home and his mom is telling them they still owe her for their share of the hotel (they shared a room). I'm thinking to myself "it's bad enough you had to spend a week with them, but then you also had to share a room? Yikes!" LOL. DD and BF are so mad, because they know they already paid her for it all up front, including the room. DD said when they checked in they ended up getting a discount that got credited to parents credit card, so if anything SHE owes them half the discount! BF's mom nickels and dimes him to death and spends money "for" him without asking and then expects him to pay for it. DD and BF just bought a house, might not be flush with cash right now, you know?

For example, BF has a dog he's had for 5-6 years. They won't let him take the dog to live with him, but he still has to pay for everything for the dog, which is fine with BF, but his mom never consults him on anything for the dog and then just tells him he suddenly owes her hundreds of dollars. She took him in for his annual check up (no reminder to BF that it was time, so be prepared for a bill) then in addition to his check up she goes ahead and has them do dental cleaning - and then tell's BF he owes her like $500 or $600. (after BF and DD just bought a home security system). Maybe she could have asked him if he could afford that right now, or maybe they could've waited another month or two to have the dental work done, instead of one huge bill all at once that he wasn't expecting. Last year she let some girl "borrow" the dog to do some agility 4-H thing. BF didn't want her to, told her no, but mom let the girl take the dog anyway. Dog ended up getting hurt and needing surgery, but there was a couple of options on how to heal him up. He told his mom which one he was willing to pay for and she went ahead and calls him up while she's at the vet (getting the expensive option done) and telling him he needs to give them his credit card # and pay for it. It cost him like $1500. I guess his dad is kind of the same way.

Two years ago he wanted to move out (was turning 25) and buy a townhouse. They basically talked him out of it because they needed his rent money to make ends meet! It was shortly after that that BF put in for a different job/promotion that was in a different city. It took about 6 months but he got the job and had (more like "got"!) to move about 90 minutes from them and finally cut the umbilical cord, at least as far as directly having to help support them.

DD is like me - tight with her money and likes to budget and know where it's all going. Having a MIL (someday) draining their money isn't going to fly too well with DD, I can tell you that.


10 comments:

  1. This sounds harsh, but as much as your daughter might be great with her boyfriend, she may want to seriously reconsider whether she wants his family to be her family too. We all know that when you marry someone you also marry their family, unfortunately. His parents don't just sound like s****y parents...they sound like pretty s****y people, too! Ugh!

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    1. yes, I think it will be something they have to work out - so maybe living together is a good thing before marriage - she's getting a glimpse of what she's getting into.

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  2. Sounds like this BF needs to set some boundaries with his parents. Until he does, they'll continue to treat him this way.

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    1. he really has a hard time with that. I think she was just as mad yesterday knowing that he'll probably give into his mom as much as the fact that she's saying they owe more money

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  3. I can't believe she even went on that "vacation". It must have been awful to share a room. I know when I'm on vacation I like to know I have a spot at the end of the day to just relax and be myself. How could she/they do that sharing a room with his parents??
    Did they know they were sharing a room going into this?

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    1. I didn't realize they had shared a room either, until she told me that yesterday. UGH! Especially when it was a week long vacation! I could maybe do a night or two like that. I don't know how she stood it. Yes, she knew they were sharing a room to help keep the costs down, but that would not have been worth it to me.

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  4. Sounds like BF needs to grow a set, take back his dog, and take control of his life and money.
    I would advise DD to make nothing permanent until that happened>

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    1. He really does! -especially because he is making good money and shouldn't be paying for their crap. he's a sweet guy but once his parents start in on him, he totally backs down.

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  5. Oh my! I hope, the boyfriend sorts out his relationship with his parents.

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  6. I keep thinking about the book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud

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