I did not have a very good evening last night. Dh got onto a rant (again) about not having enough money and how I am always saying we can't afford what he wants. I replied that I had just told him we could spend $2000 on the landscaping project! His "oh so logical" response was that that kind expense (and anything he wants to spend money on, really) should just be part of our budget! There is no getting through to this man that we live on ONE set income and what that means. I make a salary and that is that - that's what we have to live on and there isn't enough left over after all our regular expenses to just buy whatever he wants or to go on vacations (like apparently everyone else does several times a year). I even offered him the job of managing our money so he could allocate where it goes. Of course he doesn't want that - he just wants to feel like he's a victim and life is so unfair to him.
But, I held my ground and I don't really care anymore what his problem is with how I manage the money. If he wants more money then he can go out and find a part time job - he spends that much time a day doing stuff around here and manages to get through it, with his health problems. He spends hours and hours on his computer, so find a desk job, then.
I also realized something, while thinking to myself last night, that has been so wrong in how I have been managing our money and why it's been so hard to get anything saved up. I was basically budgeting a month ahead of time and then thinking I could spend now whatever is leftover. That probably makes no sense reading it - but I get paid twice a month, on the 15th and the last day of each month. I have nothing extra out of the 15th check, as mortgage, auto insurance, food and gas use it up. But, on my check at the end of the month I have some left over after paying regular expenses. For example, on Jan 31st I paid all my bills due the first half of February, looked at my budget for all of February, and would say to myself - oh I'll have $700 left over and then would let Dh spend most of it on something. But, of course, all through February will come up more unexpected things and by the end of February I was barely making it until I got paid at the end of February. Now I am waiting until the end of each month and then what is leftover can be allocated to savings or spent on something "extra".
On a happy note, my income tax refund got deposited into my checking this morning! I only filed last Friday - boy that was fast! I'm transferring $1000 straight to savings, so now I will have $2522 in my EF. I am happy with that amount. It's such a stress reliever knowing that is in there for emergencies. If the refrigerator finally dies (I'm sure it's getting there, it's 23 years old) or one of the cars needs repairs, we'll have the funds and I won't have to borrow the money from my my mom and then have another monthly payment trying to pay her back quickly. I just want to get out of the circle of always trying to catch up.