Do you have friends who just seem to be "takers" of everything and everyone? We have this one couple we know who are like this. I guess I'm just not one to take "charity" type of help, when I can afford it! This couple (in their 40's, no kids) we know is constantly trying to get people to do stuff for them or trying to get stuff for free, that should be going to people that need it/can't afford it. Blows my mind.
First off, she as a GREAT job and makes really good money. They just sold their house earlier last year, made a very good profit, moved out of state and bought a much cheaper place because it's such a lower cost of living area. Plus her hubby gets disability pay. They are constantly posting on Facebook looking to get someone to do this or that for them (for free), or needing to borrow this or that, or looking for it for free or super cheap. Ok, all well and good. They don't like to spend their money. But, when they are taking services that other people donated too, in order to help those who can't afford it, I'm not impressed.
They have 2 dogs and a stray founds it's way to their property. They tried to find his owners but no one claimed him, so they decided to keep him. And they just had him neutered. Just found out because she shared the post from their community spay/neuter group. This group - that takes donations, so they can help people, who don't have the money, spay/neuter their pets - paid for this dogs neuter. C'mon....this couple could certainly afford to have this dog neutered, since they decided to keep him! That's going a little too far in the "cheapskateness" in my opinion. And then in the next post her hubby will post a picture of his latest addition to his hobby/collection.
I've got other examples of them doing stuff like this, but this one is the latest and it ranks up there with my GoFundMe pet peeve (I'm not talking about GoFundMe for serious needs)
I like to help people, but not when someone can help themselves first and just use and take advantage of others kindness.
Ugh! Frugality is one thing but, I cannot stand cheap people. I have this friend who is quite wealthy. He likes to wine and dine but, when it comes to leaving the tip, he is very cheap. I usually end up adding money towards the tip. He also drinks like a sponge. We always split the bill equally and I never open my mouth about it. Alcoholic drinks are very expensive here because of enormous taxes and I never drink more than a glass of wine if that. I have found myself avoiding these get togethers nowadays.
ReplyDeleteI'd be avoiding those get togethers too. I used to always leave about 15% tip, but after my dd was a server I had more appreciation and now usually leave 20%. We went out to dinner the other night that came to $41. She was a good server so I just gave a $10 tip.
DeleteWellllll...If I adopted an animal from a shelter, I would most certainly take advantage of the vet's reduced fee (funded by donations)for said animal with proof of adoption, even though I can afford full price. (Ask me how I know this!) I also shamelessly shop at thrift shops, even though I have had people tell me that those stores are for people who can't afford to buy new, and I'm taking items from them. I have my kids apply for scholarships, make full use of our state's dual enrollment/tuition waiver program for high school kids, even though the tuition wouldn't be a stretch for us. Just because you CAN afford full price doesn't mean you should pay it.
ReplyDeleteAs for the crowdfunding---I despise it. If you want your kid to get money from me for a trip to say, a dance competition, then have your kid offer to pull weeds, walk the dog, sweep my driveway in exchange for the cash. I'd be the first one to hire your kid for such a venture, but wouldn't give a two cents to his shameless begging on social media.
they didn't adopt him from a shelter. He was just a stray that showed up at their house, but rather than just take him to their vet and pay for it, they got it free. I don't have a problem that they want to be super thrifty, like your examples. But don't share a post about your dog getting free neuter and at the same time asking for donations to this group, when they themselves just used it for free. We got our dog from a no kill shelter, operated by a private party, and they would reimburse us like $50 of our adoption fee, once we proved we neutered him. I had him neutered but didn't send in for the refund...I could see they operated on donations and pet adoption fees and were doing all they could to keep the shelter going.
DeleteI had a very well-to-do friend who was a taker. She was a mooch. She guilted friends into working for free. I was her chosen upholsterer friend. Than, she expected me to give her a new, unusual, one of a kind vase to her. She said, well if it was Sheila, she would give it to me. She had me upholster something for her and reupholster it again for free when she found a better material the next week. I paid for things she whined and got for free!
ReplyDeleteI know where One and Meg b's points. I think some times you just have to be there and see the full interactions of people to know whether they are takers or not.
that's kind of how this couple is. Like yous said, sometimes you just have to be there to see the whole picture of how people act on a regular basis.
DeleteLet's hope that they made a donation to the place that did the free neutering! :)
ReplyDeleteI sadly don't think they did - she shared the post made by the neutering/spay group, where they showed pic of cute dog and said he just got free neutering for his new family - please donate! LOL
DeleteThere's a helluva difference between being "thrifty" and being just plain "cheap". I once worked in an annex office (no access to a cafeteria) where we took it in turns to bring in milk for tea and coffee. "Jane" would drink everyone else's milk but when it was her turn to buy she just bought in enough for herself in a tupperware container because she "thought it might go off over the weekend". She used to make our hair stand on end with her cheapness. I just laugh about it now though.
ReplyDeleteoh geez! I'm to the point, when I see her or her husbands posts I just roll my eyes.
DeleteAnother example, of this couple, I just remembered from a couple weeks ago. She flew back to her office (she telecommutes, like me) to spend a week in meetings...spent half the week asking friends on Facebook to give her rides to her office. Just rent a dang car, when it's something as important as making sure you get to your work meetings! I guess I would just never expect others to do stuff like that for me.
ReplyDeleteI have an Uncle who would stop over to his mothers (on a fixed income) and take her weekly local paper, and daily newspaper instead of buy his own. He is extremely well off and would still go to the local VFW for cheap lunches, that were initially provided for the older folks who also were on limited incomes. Grandma would complain that sometimes he'd be in such a big hurry to get the Sunday newspaper (fuller fatter edition) that he would take it before she had a chance to read it herself. He was always over to her house eating her food (she was a great cook and baker) that my mom would shop for her and bring to her out in the country (she did not drive and was a widow) that Grandma would insist on paying for. She wouldn't even let you get away with rounding her bill up. Always to the penny. I'm sure if my Uncle had any idea how social media works (it will be the end of the world, as we know it) and how Go Fund Me works, he'd be trying to get money for something. The mighty dollar has always done the talking for him and to him. Nothing else matters as much, not even family. So sad. Ranee (MN)
ReplyDeleteThat's really cheap - especially if she wasn't even done reading it yet, LOL. I like to be thrifty and frugal but not at other's expense, especially with someone who is less of than me.
DeleteThis so annoys me. I had lunch with a colleague the other day. This was the third time we had lunch together. I picked up the check the first two times, my choice as I like to be generous. This time right after ordering she asks for separate checks. Really??? Just cheap. I can be cheap too like I always pack my lunch unless I am going out with someone. I don't want to spend my hard earned money having lunch my myself when I can bring lunch to eat by myself.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is cheap. I'm like you, I'll be frugal in other ways so that I can pay for someone else's lunch - especially if they had already paid!
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