When I talked to my mom yesterday she asked me to send her the links to the assisted living places in my area, so I did that this morning, with a little bit of the info (mostly on pricing ) I had gotten from contacting these places. There are 3 that offer assisted living (in your own apartment type setting) and a 4th that is just independent living only. One of the assisted living places that was the priciest, the guy I talked to said, it's also an option to choose their independent living apartment (still pricey, LOL) and then hire an outside senior care service to come in and help, if at this time her only assistance is medication management. I also suppose, down the road, if she needed to be in one of their assisted living apartments, it wouldn't be that hard to move her from one apartment to another, within the same place. She doesn't have that much stuff.
The manager lady I talked to at the independent living only place said many of their residents need some assistance and also hire outside help. She said her mom lives there and she hires a woman who comes in a bit each day to help her a bit and just pays her like $200-$300 per month, so she's saving quite a bit vs. what it costs at an assisted living place.
My only concern with staying at an independent living place is if her memory gets worse, which I'm assuming it will. I think then it would be better if she is in a place that is set up for memory care and those needs.
It will be interesting to see how well my mom navigates through the links I sent her. I'm guessing being able to look through it on her own at her own pace will be better than me sitting there clicking here and there. She also mentioned she is going to call and check on her health insurance and moving out of state. I'm not sure she will be able to handle that by herself as I'm sure 90% of what they tell her she will forget an hour later, so that will have to be something I do (which I was going to do next week anyway).
In talking to her yesterday it sounds like she has gone back to her old way of taking pills....her first thing in the morning pill (before eating) she has put back in her bathroom cabinet, rather than in her pill box. Try as I might to get her to take ALL her morning pills first thing and be done with them, she just can't seem to stay with that plan. So, I'm sure she'll forget to take her later morning pills, or at the very least, she's not taking them at same time each day, because she can't remember them. And I get the feeling that when I'm now calling later mornings and say "did you take your morning pills?" she is just saying yes, whether she has or not.
She mentioned she plans to take the shuttle bus offered to residents to go to the grocery store today, so that is good. It will be interesting to see if she does actually do it. I'm guessing when it comes down to it, she'll say to herself, oh I don't really need anything right now. I'll do it next time". type of thing. She's very good at that! LOL.
Even if she just starts taking the shuttle bus I think that will be a positive as she can't say "oh I don't need anything right now" forever can she. It's all going to be new for her without her BF but I'm sure she will get more settled soon.
ReplyDeleteyes, at some point she is going to have to go, which is what she needs to do. At least she does go down for most meals and gets out of her apartment a bit every day.
DeleteIF she would join even one activity as well, and I know you are trying, that would help perhaps her mental stimulation.
ReplyDeleteI know. Just one! Give her something to do and look forward to. The short term memory loss is definitely having an affect on her personality. She was always the type you couldn't get to stop doing activities.
DeleteIt's good that your mom is willing to start thinking about her options. My dad has moved twice in less than a year, first out of his condo into assisted living and the second time to a memory care unit within the same building. Both moves were challenging and took him some time to get used to. Change can be hard, I think more so for the elderly.
ReplyDeleteIt is good she is showing initiative. Can your daughter get her to sign up for at least one activity? She would meet people there and maybe someone to go with on the bus. I think, from afar, that bf's influence left her not making decisions. From what you have said and I imagine, he sort of told her what was best for her...you know some guys. At least your news about your mother was not as discouraging as usual. Can you hire someone to come in and make sure she takes meds?
ReplyDeleteI think you are exactly right. BF was kind of just making most all her decisions and she wasn't having to use her mind as much.
DeleteHow wonderful that she is even considering a move near you! Today I visited Mom and she complained about her chair being uncomfortable. When I suggested we get her a lift chair she declared "I'll think about it" She doesn't even know she is living in her own home so what is there to think about, and does she even think we factor her opinion in anymore?
ReplyDeleteoh, that must be so hard for your mom and you guys. I have a feeling my mom is going to get that way eventually too. Her dad did.
DeleteIt's good that you mom showed an interest in places closer to you. I do hope that she will eventually join some of the activities and groups. One step at a time, I suppose. :)
ReplyDeleteit will be interesting to see if she goes on the shopping trip today. She said she needs milk and doesn't like to be out of milk, LOL.
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