The topsoil screener guy finally showed up today. Not until 9am. I'm guessing DH was expecting him around 7am because he was up at 6:15. I have no idea how long this will all take. A couple days, I'd imagine.
Remember my friend, who's DH cheated on her and left her and lives with the other woman (like 23 years younger than him) now? Well, it's still going on............Absolutely nothing has changed. Now I go a month or two before I message her directly and ask how it's going. It's been well over a year now. He keeps treating her worse and worse and she just keeps hoping he's going to change his mind. The more she tries, the worse he treats her.
We are messaging this morning. Without coming right out and saying "I'd have divorced his ass months ago" I said well, you have way more patience with all this than I ever would have. Her reply was it's not patience. I love him. He has his own auto repair shop. Her car needs a part replaced, it's not running well. He won't do it for her. I told her I'd drive the damn car to his shop, tell him he is fixing it today! It's half his car and you need a reliable/dependable car. Take his truck and tell him you'll bring it back when he's done fixing the car!
He says he won't file for divorce, but wants one, because he can't afford it. Yet, he was able to go on vacation with his girlfriend last month. She just keeps making excuses as to why she won't go file for the divorce. After more than a year of going through this she just keeps saying, he's not the man I loved for 35 years, I just don't understand it. I keep praying he will change.
Now, he's racking up credit card debt. I warned her about that, but I guess since they don't live in a community property state, the creditors can't come after her. He's supposed to help her with some of the house bills, but every month she has to bug him to get her the money to pay them. As a few of us bloggers have discussed before, you just can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. She's still in denial about it all, I really think.
In a completely unrelated topic, I'm trying to figure out how to earn a little bit more money with MTurks. I'm getting so frustrated. Obviously, there are people out there making more than I can seem to make (about $25/week). And it's not for lack of trying. I pretty much leave it up on one of my computer screens and check it off and on all day. I have a script I use called MTurk Suite, but the only aspect of it I understand is the ratings that now show up in my hit searches. I can't figure out how to use the hit finder and hit catcher.
I just read this informative ebook (I spent $2.99 on it) on how this guy started making lots better money on Mturk. He said the game changer for him was installing the script "Turkmaster" because it continually searches the hits and notifies him and he was able to find lots more hits and increase his earnings by a lot. I was able to download the script and it's showing it's added to Firefox, but I do not see it showing on my MTurk dashboard, like it's supposed to, according to the ebook pictures and examples. GAH!. I'm not savvy enough to figure this all out, I guess. I just want to try to make $50 a week, instead of $25. I'm wondering if it's not working because I already have the other script (MTurk Suite) running and it can't run both at the same time. I'll have to try disabling it.
I feel so sorry for your friend :( she loves a man who won't fix her car, cheats on her and won't help pay their bills. she needs therapy, and to learn to love herself. she is trapped until her mind shakes her out of it.
ReplyDeleteyou are so right. I told her today that he doesn't deserve her, her love, or her understanding. She has gone to therapy, but it doesn't seem to be helping her see the light and move on. I think it's like a church therapist she is seeing, I'm not quite sure, but while praying on it all is well and good, at some point she needs to face the reality that he's not coming back.
Delete:( :( :( facing reality is tough. i hope she does face it soon, there is so much life for her to live without him dragging her down! i guess the counseling does not help if you're deep in denial :/
DeleteI thought maybe after more than a year of him treating her like this she would have enough, but I guess not. Sad. I just want to shake her and say divorce him! I've tried to suggest she certainly won't be any more miserable than she has been, being divorced from him and that she would be able to move on with her life and find some happiness, she deserves.
DeleteI always put it down to low self esteem. Otherwise, anyone who valued themselves would not put up with this for so long. It's sad that you can't do more for her, but she has the power within herself!
DeleteYour friend most certainly has biblical grounds for a divorce. I think she needs a new therapist as she seems to have made zero progress with the one she is seeing. Life is too short to hold on to false hope that he might come around. Even if he did, how could she ever trust him again?
ReplyDeleteI keep saying I need to spend more time learning the ins and outs of M-Turks. I'm in the same earning bracket, but like you, want more!
Do you use any of the scripts with MTurk? Either I get one to download, but then can't figure out how to utilize it, or I can't get it to work. At least now I know what "panda" means now, LOL. But, still don't quite get how it works.
DeleteI tried a couple of them but never quite figured them out. Probably should look for a tutorial on YouTube.
Deletethat's what I've been trying to do, but not a lot of help really. I'm slowly figuring out MTurk Suite today.
DeleteI'm glad the topsoil screener has finally shown up! Hope the process goes well.
ReplyDeleteAs for your friend, maybe she is against divorce for religious reasons. "Until death do us part" and all that. You are doing all you can for her just by letting her know that you are there for her as a friend.
the screener is working well! They are mixing our original pile of rocky topsoil (from our site work), with some "sandy" topsoil we had delivered in July with some cow manure they brought today. It's getting all the rocks out and looks like good topsoil getting all mixed together now.
Deleteand for the friend, I'm not so sure it's that she won't divorce him (she says she probably will at some point), I just think she keeps just wanting to pray he will turn back into the husband she had for 35 years. And like jj said above, even if he did come back to her, how in the world would she ever be able to trust him again.
DeleteGood luck with your Mturk's quest. I don't even try to do it because I am not around the computer in large chucks of time.
ReplyDeletethe only way I'm able to make any money off it is because I'm sitting here at my computer all day and can leave it on one of my screens and work it if something becomes available.
DeleteI feel so sorry for your friend, but I guess she will only divorce him when she is good and ready (or when he has treated her so abominably that even she can't take it any more). Could it be purely for financial reasons that she won't divorce him - is she afraid she won't be able to make it on her own? But by the sounds of it, he is running up CC debt to keep schmoopie happy. Even if she isn't ready to file I hope she's getting her ducks in a row - financial, seeing lawyers (they often do an initial consultation for free and the more lawyers she sees, the more he can't use if they ever do divorce). I wish her luck though - if it helps, I've never been happier since my husband buggered off!
ReplyDeleteI think money has a big deal to do with it. For over a year now she says he keeps telling her he wants a divorce, so I ask her then why doesn't he go file and he just keeps telling her he can't afford it. I've asked her why she won't go file and I think it's mainly because she's still holding out hope.
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