Tuesday, April 5, 2022

I give up

Yep! I do! I don't know what else to do with mom's meds at this point. I had to end up calling her yesterday morning to remind her to dispense and (hopefully!) take them. That was 9:15 and I had her time to alert her set at 7:15. Then at her 6:10pm meds time she calls me at 6:15 and asks if I just tried to call her? No....maybe you are hearing your med dispenser chiming? I don't think you've dispensed it yet, push the button. I thought she pushed it and then she says "just the one pink pill, right?" yes.  We hang up and the app showed she never did dispense that 6:10 pill - so where in the heck did she get that pill?

I had decided to change her morning time to 7am. Give the morning time slot one more try. I get up this morning and look at the app and it's showing "disconnected from wi-fi". OMG. Ok, so our area did have some high winds last evening, but not thru the night, that I am aware of. I looked online with her internet/phone/tv account and it shows all is connected and working. I did a modem reset, just to try.  Did she unplug it - I guess she could have unplugged it from the back of the machine, even though I do have electrical tape covering it up. She also could have unplugged the modem or router (there are 2 devices) but you'd think then that when I look online it would show she's not connected?

So, I try giving her a call at 8:10 (maybe this is a day they deliver breakfast and she'll be there). She answers and I say are you up? She says yes, she's just about to get downstairs for breakfast. I said well I think your med machine might be unplugged, is the light on it?  No, it's not. I say Ok, can you tell me if the plug in is still plugged in back of the machine? there should be the plug in with black tape across it...she says "well, the tape is there but not the plug in". F*EJ#@K. Then she says she has to go down for breakfast so she'll call me when she gets back. My luck is the cord now fell down behind her desk and she won't be able to figure out where it is/how to get it.

Any suggestions so she cannot pull out the plug from the back of the machine?? She has done that before, so that is why I put the black tape across the plug in, but obviously that's not stopping her. The only thing now I can think of is to take some black electrical tape and seriously wrap it over the plug in and around the base of the machine several times, so that it would be quite a job for her to get it unplugged.

The other thing I am seriously considering (after reading how many people use these for their dementia parent) is putting a little security type camera in her apartment to see what she is doing. The one's everyone recommends is Blink or Wyze. I'm checking on how they work. The $80 for the camera might be worth it to see what she's actually doing and also see if she's sleeping all night or getting up and wondering her apartment (I would think if she's wondering outside in the common areas, they would obviously notify me).

I got a notification that her annual RMD from her retirement account was distributed on Friday. It's supposed to transfer to her external bank account (checking) but it has not shown up yet. I logged in to try to see if I could tell what is going on and it's showing as they transferred it to the "savings" account she had with them that has been closed for almost 6 months now. It is the account she was earning like $12 a year in interest, but they were charging her $175 a year in fees, so I closed it. So, I emailed the assistant this morning to clarify to me where the funds went.

The geese couple returned again yesterday afternoon/evening and stayed for quite awhile. Then as soon as it gets almost dark they start honking and then fly off.


16 comments:

  1. Does the place where she lives offer any medication services? When my father-in-law was in assisted living we paid to have someone monitor his medications. If he didn't take his blood pressure medication he was a fall risk, so it was imperative that he took that medication at the right time every day.

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    1. No, they do not have that. They are an "independent senior living" type of place. Those that need additional help, but still want to live there, have to hire outside service/help.

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  2. Amazon sells "child proof outlet covers" like a box that she wont be able to open but anything plugged in stays plugged in. If you can understand that! That might help, good luck!

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    1. she didn't unplug it from the wall, she pulled out the plug from the back of the machine. this time.

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    2. but, that is still a good idea to get one of those. If I get the little camera, part of it has to be plugged in and I'd want to use something like that so she can't unplug that!

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  3. And, she can unplug the camera? It is a good idea to see if she just dismantles things in the night or waits until morning to take things apart! I wonder if there is a device she can wear around her neck that will receive the chime notification for her meds. However, at this point, will she just get less forgetful and start to her room to take the med and forget what she went to do? This certainly is a dilemma for you. Oh, see you can use the box to secure the camera plug.

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    1. She wouldn't wear a device around her neck. She was given one 2 years ago when she moved in for "life alert" and she wouldn't wear it. At this point she'd forget to put it on and it would most likley need to be charged so she'd forget that, too. The little camera device itself is wireless (2 year battery life) but the part that connects to wifi has to be plugged in so I'd either have to hide it where she's not seeing it plugged in (like maybe behind dresser or something) or get one of those plug in covers. She obviously unplugged it sometime between 8pm and 7am this morning! LOL

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  4. I think the camera is a good idea - although goodness knows what else could help! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Could you get someone from the home involved?

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    1. She lives in a fairly large senior living apartment complex, so they really don't get involved much with extra care they may need, over the meals and housecleaning they provide.

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  5. Have you considered paying someone on the staff a little extra to make sure she has her morning and evening meds.
    We dealt with cognitive issues with mom for a few years. She would wake in the middle of the night and have no idea what she was doing or where she was.

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    1. I doubt the employees would be allowed to do that, I'm sure they are expected to do their own jobs, when they are on the clock. I would have to hire an outside service.

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  6. Oh brother lol. I commend your efforts to keep your mom as independent as possible, but I just wonder if it's time to hire someone to come in once a day to do the meds and undo every wacky thing she has done. My sister hired someone for my mom and it worked pretty well. Her problem was memory, she kept falling because she was stubborn and refused to use her walker. My sister finally said enough is enough and they moved her out of her home-right before covid so that was great-not.
    I think a camera is a good idea. It's possible she's doing this stuff at night. My mil has alzheimers. She's been in a memory care facility now for maybe 8 years. It's been a rough go, but having her there has been much easier on the family. It was simply too dangerous for her to be by herself. I dont think your mom is to that point, but you need to make decisions based on what's best for you and her.

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    1. I'd say we're getting much closer to either needing to hire someone to come once a day and do the meds or moving her. I will probably try hiring someone first and make moving the last option.

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  7. Oops. My mom didn't have memory issues. Thats a pretty big typo lol.

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  8. In my experience many independent living facilities have an office for a third-party company on site that you can pay to give your parent extra assistance. You might want to look into something like that to make sure the medicine is taken on a regular basis.

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    1. this one does not, unfortunately. I'd be all over that service, if they did!

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