Our town newspaper (weekly) ran "How to Cook a Turkey" by the local 3rd graders. Here are a few of my favorites :)
First skin the turkey. (Cut the head off). Beware of blood spilling on
new floors. Make a hole inside turkey. Stuff with carrots, onions, and
celery. Cook for six hours.
Dad I see a turkey can I shoot it? Yes you can, bang so we took it home
so we can pluck it and gut it and after that we will put it in the ovin
for 6 hours. There is your turkey.
the turkey in the pressore cooker. Cook it for 60 minutes. Then take it
out and dump it in the oil machine for two seconds. The put salt on it
than put in in the pressore cooker for 20 minutes and then then it out
of the pressor cooker. Then there is your turkey ready to eat.
Who knew we've been doing all wrong all this time LOL